The Write Transition

From One Life Chapter To The Next

Archive for the month “January, 2012”

30 Jan 2012
23 Comments

The Versatile Blogger Award. Pour Moi?

There once was a girl named Carrie.
She entered the blogging world wary.
But when she got mentioned for awards within weeks.
She pretended they were rare and unique.
And now she’s just so freakin’ merry.

Of course, I publish the above poem tongue-in-cheek, as I am very pleased to be recognized by the wonderfully talented, karaoke-singing, marathon-running Sally Panayiotou  of The digital bookshelf, who has nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award. As if it is not cool enough for an Ohio gal like myself to have a reader from England, her dad’s name is actually Hercules. You should really go check out her site!

The rules of the award are as follows (as taken from Sally’s blog):

  1. Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post (thank you, Sally!)
  2. Share 7 things about yourself (check!)
  3. Pass this award along to 15 others (check!)
  4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award (check!)

So, here are seven more earth-shattering bits about me (which, as any introvert knows, are difficult to reveal):

  1. I do not write poetry. The above attempt answers the question of “why not”.
  2. My favorite TV shows are Dexter, Justified, and the new series Alcatraz. I am a little worried about what that says about me.
  3. I will never cut my bangs. Why get rid of anything that hides wrinkles without an injection?
  4. I will never inject a foreign substance into my face. If it gets too lined, I will just stop smiling.
  5. I once saw a nude man walking down Las Ramblas in Barcelona. He was covered head to toe in tattoos. One of them was surprisingly small.
  6. I could never be a Navy Seal. Way. Too. Wimpy.
  7. I put myself through college on a waitress’s salary and often had barren cupboards. A few weeks after dating my now-husband, he showed up at my apartment with bags full of groceries, claiming he “was a picky eater and wanted some of his favorite foods available”, which, of course, was his way of allowing me to save face. You can see, then, why I married him.

Now for 15 blogs you really should check out:

  1. A Rich, Full Life In Spite of It
  2. The Girl in the Cat Frame Glasses
  3. Moments of Clarity—G M Barlean
  4. Zenmamajo (not…)
  5. Worldmusic
  6. Leonie Lucas
  7. All Write
  8. The Diamond Pen
  9. RillaWriter
  10. Unexpected Paths
  11. Always The Write Time Blog
  12. Myndi Shafer
  13. Girl Friday Makes Good
  14. Kate Cornell
  15. Candice L Davis

So thank you again, Sally for thinking of me. Enjoy perusing her blog as well as the others I have listed!

photo credit: cartoon poodle Microsoft Clip Art

Posted in Writing and tagged , , , ,
27 Jan 2012
45 Comments

101 Ways To Use A Placenta

Sometimes I worry about blogger’s block. “What in the world will I post about next?” But then, as so often happens, life hands you a big-ol’ present with a shiny bow.

I came upon a tweet by fellow tweeter Amitha S. J. Knight, jokingly linking to this innovative and avant-garde “craft” project.

If you already clicked to the website and promptly tossed your coffee, tea, or milk, I apologize. I should have warned you. If not, go ahead and open it now, and learn about the “placenta print”.

Photo credit: babycenter.com

I, in all my unimaginative glory, have always considered the placenta to be just what it is: A hormone-producing organ responsible for transporting oxygen and other essentials from mother to fetus, in exchange for waste elimination from fetus. (A partnership that does not change once the child is born, I might add.)

Or, to be less scientifically descriptive, a floppy, bloody, sticky mass. Little did I know it served other purposes.

Photo credit: whywouldyouknitthat.blogspot.com. I was going to use an image of a real placenta, but, well, they're really ugly.

But that was then. Now I understand that the “afterbirth” is an apt synonym for the organ. Because after you have birthed it, craft making is just a few sheets of paper and a couple ounces of paint away.

I refer you to the website for the actual step-by-step directions (get your printer ready!), but in a short time—nine months or so—you will have your very own painted, placenta print. This keepsake should resemble a tree, its branches the placental veins and its trunk the umbilical cord. But, beware. If you are not particularly crafty (and the following is just my own suspicion), you might end up with a bush. I know I would.

No need for Mom to hog all of the fun. Dad, roll up your sleeves and dive right in! Equal parenting after all. Just bring along some of your hefty trash bags. And you might want to get the scented kind.

This is me and my likely reaction should I undertake this "craft".

So, now that my imagination is stoked, and I have lampooned an unfamiliar practice when I should probably be the last person to judge, what else could we do with a placenta?

Freeze it and use it as an ice pack for tired, aching muscles? Or, maybe add a little salt and nitrates for dry curing into a Frisbee. That way, it’s fun for the older kids, too. No one has to feel left out.

Perhaps you could cover the organ with fabric and use as a throw pillow. And if you have fraternal twins, well, lucky you! You will have a matched set for your difficult-to-coordinate sofa.

Or, continuing in that “vein”, how about a soft, fabric-covered “donut” to use post-tailbone injury? On the other hand, a wall hanging might be nice. Or a special little knick-knack to add color to that otherwise drab guest room.

Really, the possibilities are endless.

So, if I have not yet disgusted you (though I suspect you “X’d” out of my site a few paragraphs ago), feel free to share your own suggestions. Who knows? You might just create the world’s next must-have.

Cartoon images from Microsoft Clip Art 

1/29/2012 Update:

Just when I thought things could not get weirder, I found this website containing placenta recipes: http://www.mothers35plus.co.uk/placenta-recipes.htm. I wish I were kidding.

Posted in Musings and tagged , , , ,
25 Jan 2012
8 Comments

Which is Worse: DMV vs. Social Security Administration

Reblogged from A Rich, Full Life In Spite of It:

Week two of “Anything for a Week” resolutions in 2012 was a successful one. Last week’s goal was to get my last name changed, and symbolically and fully commit to being Mrs. RFL.

As I mentioned last Monday, I had my reasons for putting this off for 2.75 years, but it was mostly procrastination and that I would rather do just about anything than visit…

Read more… 982 more words

I am reblogging this post from A Rich, Full Life In Spite Of It, not because the writer said such nice things about me in her most recent post (but, boy, did that feel nice—what a sweetheart!), but because her entries are well-written and funnier than H. E. double hockey sticks (if that expression doesn’t date me, I don’t know what will).
I particularly enjoyed this post, not only because we have all experienced such pain, but because she inserted a table. That is like candy to a sweet tooth for a science geek like me.
You really have to check out her blog posts. I dare you to stop at just one…
Posted in Lazy Blog Days and tagged , , ,
24 Jan 2012
12 Comments

Pixies and Beefcakes? Not in “Haywire”.

This past weekend my husband and I saw the movie Haywire, starring Gina Carano, a former mixed-martial arts fighter and American Gladiator star. Given her résumé, I think it is fairly obvious this was not a rom-com. The movie was about a deceived black ops soldier who seeks serious payback. Whether you are a fan of action movies or not, I imagine this flick would please anyone of the female persuasion.

Photo credit: NBC.com

It is not just because men get their asses kicked. It is because they get them kicked so convincingly. Don’t get me wrong. I do not condone violence against men any more than I do against women. But it is the movies, after all. A place where we revel in seeing the good guy beat up the bad guy.

My hackles rise, however, when the good guy is a lithely-toned pixie and the bad guy a brawny beefcake. Not only is it horrifying to see a woman get slugged by a brute twice her size, it is ridiculous to believe she can ultimately overtake him. Along with three of his buddies. All of whom seem to be waiting, legs crossed, hands politely folded, until it is their turn to face her wrath. This is mighty kind of them, allowing the heroine to deposit their rumps, one-by-one, into the defeat pile.

Photo credit: Microsoft Clip Art

Oh, you’ve come a long way baby. Now maybe we can desensitize the masses. “See, girls can fight just like the boys!”

Well, no, they can’t. According to a Livestrong.com article, women have 20-40% less muscle mass than men, and although women are capable of achieving similar gains in strength as men, relative to their own muscle mass, they will not achieve the same gains in absolute strength, meaning they will put out about two-thirds the physical power of men. If you would like to read the original source of this information, “The Adaptations to Strength Training” by Foland and Williams, by all means, click on the link and do so. Just be prepared for some big words.

And really, do we need a scientific study to tell us that? Though I suspect it might surprise you, neither my husband nor I have much in the way of street fighting skills. Still, I’m pretty sure if we went one-on-one against each other, his seven-inch (and I’m speaking of height here, people), eighty-pound advantage would result in my defeat.

Photo credit: Microsoft Clip Art

So, now that I have contradicted myself—yes, I loved the film; no, I do not like seeing women beat up—what exactly is my point?

1) I do not like seeing any man hit a woman; not in movies and certainly not in real life.

2) I worry that images of men and women fighting will lessen the natural revulsion that should occur when a man punches a woman (and yes, I understand the double standard implied here, but that is a topic for another post.)

3) I am not implying women are incapable of being strong fighters. Quite the contrary. Many of whom could make both my husband and I cry “uncle” before the first roundhouse. BUT, if we are to view images of men and women fighting, then let’s keep it fair. The “pick on someone your own size” adage should apply. For example, seeing Zoe Saldana take on Daniel Radcliffe (sorry, Harry Potter dude) could be believable. Seeing her challenge Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson—not so much. On the other hand, seeing Gina Carano take down the likes of Ewan McGregor, with her experience, muscles, and skill? VERY believable, so much so that I imagine a mass shrinkage from walnuts to peanuts occurred in the male audience. (And if you don’t get that metaphor, kudos to you. Your mind functions on a higher plane than mine.)

Photo credit: Claudette Barius

So, Hollywood, keep the realistic action movies coming (or at least, theoretically realistic). Boys, be nice to girls. Girls, be nice to boys. But in the meantime, be on the look-out for Gina. I suspect there is more to come in this lovely woman’s future.

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Posted in Entertainment, Musings and tagged , , , , ,
21 Jan 2012
427 Comments

Birth Of A Social Networking Loner

It was not long ago I protested the use of social networking sites, nose a little skyward, with quips like:

“You’ll never catch me on Twitter.”

“I dare you to Google me. You won’t find anything but job-related links.”

“I only wish my life was so dull that I could spend hours of it twiddling online.”

Well, I may not be twiddling, but I’m certainly twittering. And Goodreading. And WordPressing. And commenting and liking and Linking on In.

Writers know marketing is part of the publishing process. They also know it should start early, well before a book summons its first paying reader. But here’s the snag. Many writers are introverts. That is probably why we like to write. We are alone. With our thoughts. Thoughts easier to reveal by keyboard than mouth.

If you are not sure whether or not you are an introvert (really?), I found a checklist to guide you. Might be the highest test score I’ve ever received.

Okay, no need for nail biting; I made peace with my introversion long ago. Or my “Sheldonism” as my family calls it, for any Big Bang Theory fans out there. In fact, I rather enjoy the following quote: “The limited circle is pure.”—Franz Kafka.

Kind of ironic I found it on a social networking site.

So how does a reticent networker network? Surprisingly easily. In fact, maybe these sites were developed with the introvert in mind. Express yourself in 140 characters or less? No problem. Join a discussion without the usual pressure of verbal tongue-tie? Groovy. Comment on blog posts you find insightful and interesting, all from the comfort of your timid cocoon? (Or Snuggie if you’re one of those. I am not.) Hey, count me in.

And guess what? It has been much easier to assimilate than I ever imagined. In fact, most challenging is:

  1. Deluding myself I hold anything of interest to others.
  2. Budgeting my time accordingly. I am trying to write another novel, after all.

The latter is proving most difficult. I encounter so many interesting people, whether by perusing blogs or eyeballing tweets or comparing book lists. People from different countries, different life situations, different viewpoints. And how cool is it to tweet an author whose book you’ve just read? Seems much more than mere marketing (especially considering I am presently a product-less promoter). In fact, it is more like an awakening.

Now, if only I could learn to put it down for a nap…

Photo credit: all images from Microsoft Clip Art

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Posted in Marketing, Writing and tagged , , , , , ,
19 Jan 2012
14 Comments

Lazy Blog Day #1

Hmmm, I’m feeling a little narrow-minded today…

Posted in Lazy Blog Days, Musings and tagged , , ,
16 Jan 2012
15 Comments

Low On T? Try Lack Of E!

There I was, going through my usual morning routine of face-transformation à la Neutrogena and Clinique, CNN humming in the background, when a deafening commercial track came on, and a masculine voice filled the air.

“Is low T making you feel like a shadow of yourself?”

Say what?

Is it not discomforting enough I have to see Viagra-pumped, salt-and-pepper-haired men walking hand and hand on the beach with the woman they’re about to pounce? Now I have to hear about their low testosterone levels too?

Maybe my ire was merely due to irony. Because, let me assure you, there is no lack of T in my home. Especially on football-rich days like yesterday. It is a wonder my husband and oldest son can still ambulate, what with the amount of time their asses spent fused to recliners.

And the food! Is there a rule that only artery-plugging and lipid-dripping fare is allowed during football games?

Allow me to show you a sample of the consumed sustenance by the men in my household these past two sports-driven weekends.

Should I be impressed or horrified by my son’s proud proclamation he inhaled 33 wings, compliments of Quaker Steak & Lube, skin and all? Seriously? Should a restaurant’s name even be allowed to contain the word “Lube”?

The usual routine in our home involves my cooking nutritious, low-fat, vegetable-rich items Monday through Friday, with a more relaxed intake on Saturday and Sunday. But that doesn’t mean the complete banishment of anything green or greaseless!

As mothers, we like to think we have instilled good habits in our children. By pumping them full of veggies and fruit from an early age, we convince ourselves they’ll make healthy choices when they are older.

Yeah, right. One weekend of football sent that hope fleeing faster than a democrat at an Ann Coulter book signing.

But I’ll accept it. I’ll keep my mouth shut (though not my fingers, as evidenced by this public blogging). What kid doesn’t deserve a weekend with dad watching football and eating junk without interference from the estrogen maker? Life is too short, after all.

But even though I am far from a girly girl, every so often, maybe once every total eclipse, I could stand for a little less T and a little more E.

Me and "Helen Mirren" at Madame Tussaud's in London

Photo credit: Images other than my own from Microsoft Clip Art

Posted in Family, Musings and tagged , , , , , ,
13 Jan 2012
21 Comments

Storytellers, Awe Inducers, and Caffeinated Chihuahuas

Now that the award season is over, and the hoopla has died down (though where was my call from the Prez? I heard he invited Johnny Depp to a party…), I wanted to post on a topic I’m sure most writers adore: books.

In my mind, I tend to lump fiction into one of four categories:

  1. Yuck, won’t spend another minute on it.
  2. Ehh, good enough to finish, but I won’t be organizing a parade in its honor.
  3. Great read by a wonderful storyteller—cannot wait to dive in!
  4. Amazing book with brilliant writing, leaving me awestruck by the author’s talent and reluctant to turn the last page.

Allow me to share some of my favorites from the last two categories.

As for great reads whose anticipated debut makes me hop around like a caffeinated Chihuahua, one of my favorites is Sue Grafton’s Kinsey Millhone series. Her well-written books create such a lovable protagonist, you feel as though you are sleuthing right along with her.

The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith is another pleasure producer. Though I am not one to use the word delightful (dragons and clouds, remember?), I can think of no better adjective to describe this series. The style is breezy, light, and heartfelt. Believe it or not, I’m actually a little glass-half-full by the time I reach that back cover!

And of course, to return to my dark side, anything by Stephen King. Though I am no longer a huge fan of horror (have graduated to thrillers; am a big girl now), I cannot bypass this man’s books. Barely two lines fly by before I am sucked into a world with characters so rich and real, I expect them to knock on my door (though I certainly hope they don’t—that would be creepy.) He is a brilliant storyteller.

Now what about my last category? Although I am drawn to mystery and intrigue, every so often, I poke my nose into something more literary (I need to maintain a modicum of respect, after all). Among this group, I have discovered books that made me…well…speechless. Not to mention humbled by great talent. Talent that reduced me to a kindergartener weaving a tale of a farting monkey by comparison.

There are too many gems to mention, but let me highlight a few:

  • A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry. If I could write even one pinch as well as this author, I would brighten the world with my happiness.
  • Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
  • I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb
  • Beach Music by Pat Conroy
  • Midwives by Chris Bohjalian. Not only was it beautifully written, I literally felt a chill when I finished. I won’t say more. You just have to read it.

Now, you may look at my list, shrug, and say, “Well, that’s not so special, Missy.” Fortunately, for writers and readers alike, taste in books is not one-size-fits-all. But as I am always looking for stories that tickle my pickle, I would love to know what reads are on your list. What books were too entertaining to close or so well written you turned a shade of envious green?

Please share your favorites with me. I’d love to experience them!

Cartoon images: Microsoft Clip Art

Posted in Reading, Writing and tagged , , , ,
10 Jan 2012
2 Comments

One More Thing!

Ok, my shrinking brain is getting the best of me. It was only a matter of time. In relation to the Kreativ Blogger Award post, there is another blog I meant to list (G M Barlean) but apparently had a middle-aged moment. I have since added it to the Golden Globe rollout on my previous post. Be sure to check out this wonderful site for aspiring authors.

Posted in Writing
10 Jan 2012
15 Comments

Kreativ Blogger Award

A pleasant surprise awaited me this morning, in that fellow blogger jmmcdowell nominated me for the Kreativ Blogger Award. When I started my blog a little over five weeks ago, I figured the only readers I’d have would be my family (because I forced them) or unsuspecting victims who happened upon my site by chance due to their choice of search terms. So far this week, searches that led to my blog included: “will smith naked”, “a thesis on musculoskeletal…”, and “2 fat men in speedos” (you’ll have to check out my other posts to see why this would be so! Ahh, beautiful fodder for a future post…)

The rules for the Kreativ Blogger Award include:

  • Display the award image on your blog.
  • Acknowledge the nominator.
  • List ten things about yourself that readers probably don’t know.
  • Pass the award along by nominating at least six other blogs you enjoy reading. Although it’s a little bit “chain letter”ish in that regard, it is a nice way to show others you appreciate and enjoy their dedicated words.
So, here are ten things you may not know about me (or care to, for that matter):
  1. I grew up in North Dakota. And yes, we do have shopping malls there, and no, we do not have polar bears, as someone once asked me.
  2. I spent a year after high school as an au pair in Paris, France. This was my first experience with a Turkish toilet. If you do not know what that is, consider yourself lucky.
  3. I’ve had ten years of post-graduate education. And yet I still blog about movie stars’ six-packs and Turkish toilets.
  4. Popcorn and chocolate are my two biggest vices…well, the two biggest I’ll publicly share. My sons are my two biggest virtues.
  5. I enjoy a good political fight, but I’ll keep it out of my blog.
  6. My husband is unicorns and rainbows, and I am dragons and clouds. Thank goodness for yin and yang.
  7. When I was ten years old, I found a $20 bill downtown and turned it in to the police. I believe that reflects more positively on my mother than me.
  8. I would go to a movie every day if I could.
  9. I was once convinced I’d marry Parker Stevenson.
  10. I’m like a crusty old Twinkie. Poke hard enough, and you’ll eventually reach a gooey center.
As for my blog choices, they are listed here. If they have already been nominated, I would not be surprised.
  1. Redwood’s Medical + Edge: An experienced RN helps authors learn how to write medically accurate fiction. Very creative concept and good medical information.
  2. Postcard Fiction: Impressive for its brevity (because let’s face it, sometimes that’s just we need) and its creativity.
  3. The Girl In The Cat Frame Glasses: Not only does the blogger have the same WordPress theme as me (owe me a Coke!), she tells it like it is, a trait I always admire. And unlike me, she may be too young to get the “owe me a Coke” thing.
  4. fitnitchick: Great site for anyone into fitness, or knitting, or both. Interesting topics and brave enough to post occasional video blogs (which are great, by the way).
  5. NotQuiteOld: If you love laughing out loud, this blog will get you there.
  6. Audrey Kalman Writing of Many Kinds: Offers insightful entries on the writing and publishing process, helpful to those on their own writing journey.
  7. G M Barlean: Another wonderful blog for aspiring writers.

So once again, a big thank you to jmmcdowell for the nomination. Please check out her excellent blog as well as the others I have listed above!

Posted in Writing and tagged , , , ,

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