That Didn’t Hurt At All

Ever had a flying hockey puck bounce off your head? No? Then let me take you on an adventure. Just know I might stray off course.

I haven’t thought of this incident for years, but thanks to mon ami over at Promethean Times and his recent baseball post, the memory came rushing back and my mind went a-wandering.

The first stop on this cerebral journey was my mental pet-peeve bin. Sadly, this storage depot is jam-packed and will soon need a mate, which I can probably pick up at Wal-Mart.

I will only burden you with one pet peeve, but I warn you, it’s a heavyweight. And while I won’t get too political, as I’ve promised not to do on this blog, there is a teensy chance you might end up taking sides. That’s okay. Everything you say can and will be held against you.

Most of you know I’m currently plaguing Northeast Ohio with my presence. This lands me close to the Cleveland Indians, which is the area’s professional baseball team. The team name itself disturbs me, but I can live with that. What makes my skin crawl, however, is the logo.

Friends, enemies, weirdos who are still looking for Will Smith nude, allow me to introduce you to Chief Wahoo:

Chief Wahoo. In what world is this okay? (Image credit: sportslogo.net)

Yeah, you got that right. You’re not seeing things. This is the actual image displayed on T-shirts, hats, blankets, mugs, bumper stickers, big foamy fingers, and probably the obese bellies of many of my male neighbors. And. It. Drives. Me. Bonkers.

Am I American Indian? No. But I don’t think one need be Native American to find this hideous, debasing face offensive. I mean, really? Can they not find something better? In fact, if the team is dead set on a goofy looking face, they can use this one.

I initially posted a goofy photo of me, but then I wimped out and took it off. You'll have to settle for this guy from the Microsoft Clip Art file instead.

I’ll leave the ranting at that. I think you get where I’m coming from. Back in the over-stuffed storage bin Chief Wahoo goes.

Which takes us on the final leg of my thoughtful journey (yes, as is often the case, it was a short trip): Hockey. The leap from baseball to hockey was made because, as you also may remember, I originally hail from North Dakota, where anyone familiar with the state knows that the final line of the American national anthem is not “…and the home of the brave” but rather “…and the home of the SIOUX!” This is because the University of North Dakota is known for two things: its aviation program and its excellent hockey team. And yes, without reentering my mental pet-peeve bin, I realize that the Fighting Sioux is also a Native American name. Please don’t get me started again. I finally returned to a normal shade.

Of course, thinking of the Fighting Sioux transported me back even further, back to when I was a homely, permed-headed, fourteen-year-old girl. At least I didn’t have braces. No, I saved that pleasure for when I was thirty-three. Awesome.

What's worse? The braces or the orange lips? (Image from carefair.com)

As I, a pitiful lass in Target clothes and big-framed eyeglasses, innocently watched the Sioux on their way to hockey championship, spindly arms raised in victory with each passing goal, a hockey puck, freshly airborne from a slapshot and whizzing faster than a bullet train, crashed into my right frontal skull.

The crowd went silent.

I looked around in a dazed stupor. Who me?

Oddly, I wasn’t injured. A few inches laterally and I could have had a nice epidural bleed. But the most I suffered was hurt pride, as only a teenage girl torpedoed in the head with a hockey puck could.

No lasting damage, you ask? I’ll let you be the judge.

Cartoon hockey image from Microsoft Clip Art

117 Responses to “That Didn’t Hurt At All”

  1. aFrankAngle

    Definite ouch! …. going to the games, my wife refused to sit anywhere in what she called “the puck zone.” Fortunately, my fav seats weren’t there.

    Like

  2. bumbas

    Yes, the use of Indian names for sports teams and mascots is objectionable. And not one team has changed its name to the best of my knowledge. and if you do have to attend a Cleveland Indians game, bring a glove.

    Like

    • crubin

      Are you referring to a big foam glove with the horrible logo on it or the latex kind to protect my hands from the germs that lurk there? (Cue evil laugh…)

      The University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux, to which I also referred, has been in an ongoing battle in terms of a name change. Not sure if the outcome has officially been decided. I certainly won’t shed a tear if they need to get rid of the name.

      Thanks much for stopping by on a couple of my posts. I appreciate it!

      Like

        • crubin

          Duh! What can I say–it’s almost my bedtime. Brain cells not functioning. Then again, latex gloves might not be such a bad idea…

          Like

          • bumbas

            You’re going to wear latex gloves to bed? just kidding. Actually, I several times took my baseball glove to bed with me when I was a kid….

            Like

  3. Vladimir (@socialmediatry)

    Yup, Chief W. is really out there. Scary. They could use some nice totem or some cute Indian girl… well, anything but this. But, what can you do, it is what it is. Still, love your rant about it :)
    And, this is our second similarity (first is game of Magic), because I was training hockey for years, and when I retired from action, I was training kids in-line hockey (on rollerblades) for 5 years. But, as life always gives us new challenges, nowadays I’m out of it, but hockey will always be number one sport in my heart.
    Until my next visit, all the best to your boys and you.

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    • crubin

      A totem pole for a logo–now I like that! At least it has a little more dignity to it. That’s interesting you played hockey–ice hockey is a very exciting sport. And at times brutal. Hopefully you survived with no injuries (and no hockey pucks to the head!)

      As always, Vladimir, thanks so much for stopping by. To have people from other countries reading my words is pretty awesome.
      :)

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  4. introvertedblogger

    My husband can tell you ( and will with no prompting at all ) of the time he went to a hockey game ( Canadian cousins) and will assure you it was one of the most frightening moments of his life. When first told this story I though he might have been playing, and was very impressed, but I soon learned he was only in the crowd. How can this be, I wondered? Now, reading your memory, I understand. It’s like rugby only on ice. Scary.

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    • crubin

      Yes, any trip to a hockey game should prompt checking one’s tickets closely and making sure one’s seat is behind the plexiglass. Mine, sadly, was not. Very scary indeed…

      Like

  5. RescuedFromTheBottomDrawer

    Funny how those memories just seem to surface with little provocation, don’t they? Glad you didn’t get seriously hurt by that puck, but as soon as I read the first line of your post, I immediately thought of my own little accident: Try a soccer ball to a face full of braces, a suspected cracked molar, and being forced to eat nothing but baby food.

    Hmm… maybe I’ll do a blog post on it one day.

    Like

    • crubin

      Oh, now that’s nasty. Ouch! That most definitely merits a blog post. Or at least a trophy of some kind.
      :)

      Thanks for dropping by!

      Like

  6. riatarded

    Oh wow! OUCH! Are you superwoman? :p or iron woman? come on! out with it!

    Like

    • crubin

      Just thick-headed woman, I think. Certainly wasn’t my finest moment…

      Thanks for dropping by!

      Like

  7. Arizona girl

    I got whacked in the head by a paddle ball paddle during 6th-grade PE. Also no bleeding, but it certainly was a shock. I wish I could have seen the whole thing from afar. Must have been pretty funny….

    Here’s to us hard-headed, tough girls! ;)

    Like

    • crubin

      My husband would definitely agree with the hard-headed label.

      Isn’t it sad how mishaps are funny? Any episode of “America’s Funniest Home Videos” demonstrates that. I’m sure people talked about the girl who got hit by the puck after the game. At least there weren’t Jumbotrons back then, or else my head-meets-puck moment would have been replayed for all to see…

      Like

  8. susan sheldon nolen

    Great post so glad you survived that puck, but I wonder will you survive staring at those yellow teeth and orange lips? ;-) I was deeply moved as a young girl by Native American wisdom, particularly Black Elk and the book Black Elk Speaks. It moved me to hear the words and I wish I had the text to quote it perfectly, but the gist was, if you eat an animal, you must treat it with respect and use every part of that animal, nothing should be wasted, spurred, if you can’t do that, then do not touch the animal as it is as sacred as you. Powerful words…I have to go search for the original.

    Like

    • crubin

      I have always enjoyed reading about Native American culture. I went to a Pow Wow this fall for some research, and it was fascinating. Unfortunately, life on reservations can be challenging, what with the poverty rates, alcoholism, and domestic violence.

      Thanks so much for stopping by. I’ve been wondering how your TV-free experiment has been going.
      :)

      Like

    • crubin

      Thanks, but I wimped out. I started to imagine that image available to anyone on the Internet, and I got a little nervous. I’ve been stingy about putting any pictures of me or my family on my blog. Guess I’m not ready for the goofy yet!

      Thanks for dropping by!

      Like

    • crubin

      Ahh, you must have originally read the post from your email, because I’ve since taken it down.

      Like

  9. lbtk

    Not a fan of Chief Wahoo, and I do support getting rid of offensive names and logos and mascots for the most part.

    However, the University of North Carolina at Pembroke is based in a city (Pembroke, NC — home of the Lumbee Indian Tribe) which is almost exclusively Native American. Their mascot is the “Brave.” This was voted on by the student body of the school. The school’s position is, if this is not offensive to us and our student body, why should we get rid of it?

    I don’t really have an answer for any of it, but I agree with UNC-P. It’s what they’ve chosen. They like it. They’re proud of it. Leave it alone.

    Of course, their logo is a handsome young Indian brave. Maybe that’s why I don’t find it offensive. I guess I’m just saying that maybe some of these kinds of expressions are okay. Sandy

    Like

    • crubin

      As long as they want it and are okay with it, that’s one thing. But as you point out, having a logo of a handsome Indian brave is much different from a silly name and face like Chief Wahoo. Unfortunately, there are not many Native Americans around where I live to speak out against it, and thus that hideous mug remains.

      Thanks so much for dropping by and voicing your opinion. I appreciate it!

      Like

  10. sweetmother

    this is awesome, but honestly i’ve come to expect that from you. i love the way you go from one thing to another to another. it’s like being in your brain and it’s such a fun ride. i don’t know how in the hell i feel about the indian thing. i say, if they don’t like it, we should can it. i just feel like we’ve done so much shit to the indians at this point, would changing the name of a hockey team even matter? when their reservations are some of the poorest and alcohol-flooded places in america? ay yay yay. i have a headache. better go back to thinking about something more soothing like the middle east problem. and i can’t believe you got hit with a hockey puck and lived to tell the tale. i went and watched the ducks out here. it was superfun. oxo, mother

    Like

    • crubin

      I think you do some pretty good cerebral migration yourself, missy.

      I’m with you–if Native Americans are offended by these names, then we should get rid of them. Just because the group represents a relatively silent minority doesn’t give us the right to carry on with offensive material.

      Thanks for stopping by, sweet lady. I know how busy you are.

      Like

  11. starlaschat

    When I was in the 6th grade playing baseball I ran towards a fly ball hitting another 6th grade girl in the head . It was tramatic for both of us, she passed out and they had to call an ambulance. I stood there alone. Oh the trama. That was not a good year. Oh sorry this was about you not about me….where were we? Concussion girls, hard headed. Glad you survived.

    Like

    • crubin

      I think it was those tough Midwestern genes that pulled me through…

      My son recently did the head collision thing with another boy during recess. He suffered a concussion, though no ambulance was needed. Good thing those pediatric craniums are tough.

      Like

      • starlaschat

        Good thing I did go to the doctor and he said I had a concussion. A starange medical side note I suffered a case of Shingles right after that. It’s amazing what kids can go through glad your sons OK.

        Like

  12. writerwendyreid

    Yikes! Even if there was no long term damage, it must have hurt like hell! The rest of your post, however, had me in stitches. And thanks for redirecting us back to the nude Will Smith thing. I had forgotten about that. :-P

    Like

    • crubin

      Every time I check my stats (which is becoming less frequent by the way–guess the novelty has worn off…), “Will Smith naked” is one of the dang search words. That’s what I get for posting a shirtless photo of him I guess. But I also posted a shirtless Hugh Jackman but have heard nothing from his fans. Sorry, Hugh.

      Glad I could make you laugh. Thanks for stopping by. And don’t worry, the dent in my head is hardly noticeable…

      Like

    • crubin

      It is a rare day when lipstick even finds a home on my face, so I think wearing orange lipstick would fall into the “never going to happen in my lifetime camp.” And I never where orange clothes either. One time I wore an orange shirt to work, and someone asked me if I was sick–said my color didn’t look right. Thus, no more orange clothing…

      Like

      • Pink Ninjabi

        HAHAH… That’s too funny. HAHAH.. yeah, you don’t need make-up. Think “What Makes You Beautiful” by One Direction from your hubby to you as well, the song is between two romantics rather than friend to friend. :D

        Thank you for lighting up my world with your smile! :D

        Pink.

        Like

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