Mr. Nasty Pants Vs. The Wannabe
Mr. Nasty Pants, my personality nemesis, spawned by Microsoft Clip Art.
Keeping my pantaloons-challenged personality fiend at bay is difficult. Like dead fish after an oil spill, he just keeps surfacing.
My most recent conversation with Mr. Nasty Pants went something like this:
Mr. NP, hiking up those dreadful trousers and puffing out his chest: “Hey Miss Wannabe Writer, thought you were supposed to be blogging about your transition from one life chapter to the next. Instead, you’re busy yacking about loogies on urinals and dog poop.”
Me, head lowered: “Variety is good. Besides, there’s not much to tell. I’m still waiting to hear from my editor.”
Mr. NP, eyes wide as frisbees: “What?! And your book is supposed to be released in September? Good Hades, you must be soiling yourself!”
Me: “Well, the author’s handbook said I wouldn’t hear back until three months before the release date.”
Mr. NP: “So blog about that. Tell those kiddies about your mounting panic on meeting the editing deadlines. How Mr. or Ms. Editor might throw so many changes your way, you won’t even recognize the material. Or how maybe,” Mr. Nasty Pants laughs, vanishing a bouquet of dead flowers up his sleeve, “poof, they’ll forget about you all together.”
Me, staring at his empty talons: “Um, I think I’d rather write about poop.”
Mr. NP: “Well at least tell the folks what you’ve accomplished during your agonizing wait. Surely, you’re halfway through a new work-in-progress by now.”
Me: “Um…”
Mr. NP: “Oh, come on, lady. Don’t tell me you’ve mucked that up, too? What in the heck are you doing all day? Visiting naughty blogs like Tales of a charm city chick and The Mainland?”
Me, color infusing my melanin-deficient cheeks: “Now wait a second. I’ve written stuff. I finished an outline of my new novel and am now drafting it scene-by-scene. I’m up to scene six.”
Mr. NP, his tone mocking: “Oh, so you’re an outliner then? You know what your buddy Stephen King says about that, don’t you? He says outlines confine a writer. That ‘plotting and the spontaneity of real creation aren’t compatible.’ He’s a fly-by-the-seat sort of guy, or a pantster, as you wannabes like to call it. Seems to have worked just fine for that rich ass dude, wouldn’t you say?”
Me: “Well, I don’t want to fix plot problems after the fact, you know? But I’m also working on a short story. No outline with this one. Just open that baby up and see where the words take me.”
Mr. NP: “And how’s that working for you?”
Me, face brightening: “Not bad. Pretty fun, actually. I’ve written about 8,000 words and would like to make it 10,000. So almost done.”
Mr. NP, just when I—idiot me—thought we might be connecting: “Well, you know it’s going to suck butt, don’t you? Just like your novel—the new and the old. And then you’ll start sweating, start pacing the floor and rubbing your neck and devouring cashew caramel trail mix, because, well, because you QUIT YOUR FREAKING DAY JOB! What are you a fu—”
Me, shooting to full height, cashew bits flying from my mouth, mad woman in action: “Hey, you know what, sicko? Shut the hell up. For once in your life, shut your hideous hamburger hole. I’m doing all right. I’m having fun blogging. I’m having fun writing. I’m having fun just taking care of me and my family for a change. So crawl back into your cerebral foxhole, you self-doubt asswipe!”
Gee, I didn’t know I had it in me…
Image credit: icanhascheezburger.com
What about you? Got any personality fiends fueling your self-doubt? Or, if you’re a writer, are you an outliner or a pantster? Or maybe you prefer to write without any pants on at all…
112 Responses to “Mr. Nasty Pants Vs. The Wannabe”
I just loved this! You really caught the voice so well!
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully you don’t have your own Mr. Nasty Pants.
I do…we all do…but few are brave as you to admit it!
Tell Mr NP to go write his OWN bestselling novel!
I absolutely should. That oughtta keep him busy for awhile.
Oh, wow, Carrie, just look at how many of us own up to having our very own ‘Mr Nasty Pants’ – a bit of healthy contempt for him when we’re ‘up’ helps when we’re ‘down’.
Another terrific post from you, you are so funny.
Congratulations on the book done and the book in the making, can’t wait to read them both
Thanks, Polly! I didn’t recognize your name of “journalread” though the Gravatar image was familiar. Did you just change it, or am I really more clueless than I already thought I was? That wouldn’t surprise me, by the way.
Thanks for stopping by, and I’m glad to hear even wonderful writers like you have moments of self-doubt.
Ah, you flatter me ma’am – we’re all the same under the skin – my blog has always had the title ‘journalread’ but it’s not usually shown as such … I was messing with it earlier and didn’t notice that it had switched back, I think I’ve dealt with it now, sorry for any confusion (it confuses me!)
Oh, good. My world is once again in balance.
I like it, I like it a lot
OMG Carrie, you are so funny! Loved this post b/c I feel as though I am living it these days. Thanks for posting this.
Apparently there is no shortage of self-doubt to go around! Thanks for the kind words.
You and Mr. Nasty Pants get a plug in an upcoming post on my blog. Now to something mundane: Sorry to bother you with it on this end of the weekend. I have a silly request. Please read today’s post on my blog about The Bradley Chronicles. I’d appreciate it if you could read it and then vote for my segment. You’ll see what I mean. Thanks in advance, Fay
I will check it out. Thanks.
Carrie, I deal with my Ms. Negativity by naming her Miranda and basically doing the same thing telling. Her to shut the h*** up.
I’ve experimented with outlining. First book had a 12 page outline. Second book had a 5 page synopsis. Third book is a two page synopsis. Each worked well. I think it’s about what the book requires and what you require to write it. 
Thanks for sharing your technique, Kourtney. It’s nice to see that even a short synopsis was enough to fuel your last book. I’m making a detailed outline, but at some point, I wonder if I should just start writing. But then I realize how nice it will be to have the plot kinks worked out ahead of time, because as I go through my outline, I often have to go back to an earlier scene to change something, etc. I just hope it doesn’t confine me and make me fail to see something that might work better had I not been so rigid.
I’m glad you keep your Miranda in check. Of course, now your nemesis will forever be the red-haired lawyer from Sex in the City in my mind, but hey, Grandma H has an Hungarian accent, so, you know, it’s all good.
LOL. I named her after the Orange soda, Miranda that Pepsi makes. I only had it in China.
But Miranda on SITC could be equally annoying at times. 
I think it’s about having some form of a roadmap to the story that gives you the confidence to write it. It’s really about what you need. And it’s not carved in stone. You can change the outline as you go. It’s a roadmap, but sometimes you need to get off and see some weird sites you never planned to see.
Sometimes I have mapped out the whole story and half way through the characters hijack my plot and suddenly I’m reworking the entire synopsis. That happened with my last book and my current WIP. But it all ended up good in the end.
That is so true that characters can hijack a plot. It sounds crazy to say, and I’m sure people wonder how that’s possible, but I think unless you’ve written fiction, it’s hard to understand. In some ways, characters really do write the story.
I really appreciate your insights, Kourtney. It helps to hear from someone who’s been there. Especially someone who’s been there 3 times and is a semi-finalist in the Amazon contest!
Have a great rest of your Sunday.
Congrats on the novel! Self-doubt has tried to crawl up my ass this week–you just helped me poop it out:) Thanks bunches! Great post:)
Anytime I can help with the constipation of self-doubt, I am a happy woman.
Thanks so much for stopping by!
My Mr. NP also gives me a hard time for quitting my ‘real’ job and daring to do something I love (fitness). I say poop on all the Mr. NPs in the world! What counts is being happy and fulfilled, and if we never dare to take risks, we’ll never accomplish something great, right?!
Wise, wise words!
Great post!
Thank you! I appreciate you stopping by.
I thought I saw you the other day.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJYYfrBbywk&w=420&h=315%5D
Starla, you are too funny. First of all, I want to know what you were doing that led you to the video. And second of all, I like your version of me. I must admit, however, that even though that woman kicked the guy’s butt, it is still hard for me to watch a man and woman go at it in a physical fight. Guess I’m still a little old-fashioned in some respects.
Thanks for a great laugh! Hope your stressful load has become a little lighter these past few days.
I actually looked for the video when I thought of you and Mr. Nasty Pants. I wanted you to win. I was going to look at lazer light sabers but thought you might like a cage fight better. Your right I am old fashoined as well fightings not a good thing men or women I guess I thinking of Mr. Nasty Pants did you notice the guy was wearing pants.
The weekends been a tough one and it looks like it just gona keep getting tough but that’s just how it goes sometimes. Life is still good even if it is a little difficult right now OK a lot difficult. :+)
Sorry to hear that. You will be in my thoughts.
Why, Miss Carrie, I do declare.. Good for you!
(hope this doesn’t post twice, it didn’t seem to the first time)
Whoa, you’re getting your Southern on today, aren’t you? Probably don’t see a lot of Southern belles in Saudi. But I bet those Southern gals could kick Mr. Nasty Pants to the curb far more successfully than me.
I think Stephen King has written so many books he can do it with his eyes closed, and no outline. It’s probably harder to write a book without an outline for all the newbies like us. I have some ideas of children’s books and I know how the story will go but I’m not sure I’ll use an outline when I get to writing them. I’d feel too constricted, I think.
As for the self-doubt, I get that all the time. I have at least one potential client contact me every other week and discuss their marketing projects, understanding they need to hire a pro like me to get it done. When I give them a quote, they balk at the price, and my fees are very reasonable. Yikes, I need to stop taking those phone calls and looking for the right clients myself. Unfortunately, I’m trying to get away from the marketing and get more into the writing (e.g. articles), so I really need to go after the gigs, and I keep telling myself, maybe I’m not cut for this. Then I need to get my site up and going to sell my photos and I keep telling myself, maybe I’m not so good at this. And then I want to spend more time sharpening my drawing skills for fun and to illustrate my own picture books, and I think, maybe I’ll never be good enough at it… It’s very annoying and I think I have too many projects / career objectives to tackle at once and I can’t do them well enough if I do them together. So in the meantime, I do nothing… Argh, shoot me now!
I completely understand that feeling of near paralysis when there’s so much you want to accomplish, but because of fear or self-doubt or lack of time, it becomes almost impossible. I appreciate you sharing your experience, because I think many of us can relate. You do have your fingers in many pies, that’s for sure, and I suspect it is frustrating to be helping others market their projects when you want to be creating your own. What exactly do you market–companies with products? Individuals? I’m just curious. Very interesting.
Thanks so much for stopping by. And yes, I bet Stephen King could pop a new fiction baby out quicker than I could come up with a first line.
Here’s a very interesting discussion thread on LinkedIn regarding using outlines. Obviously, it’s quite a popular subject!
http://www.linkedin.com/groupItem?view=&srchtype=discussedNews&gid=111245&item=104861186&type=member&trk=eml-anet_dig-b_pd-ttl-cn&ut=2GUYkKpjZKFlc1
At this point I help smaller and larger companies with their marketing communications materials, anything printed or online. The very small companies are the ones usually reaching out to me because they need my services the most. But they’re also the ones who don’t want to spend any marketing dollars, go figure. I quoted a prospect $120 to write a proposal letter for him, which was a steal, and he bulked at the price. When he’s the one who said he needed to pay for my expertise! That’s why I usually only look for much larger projects. I hate having to justify why they should hire me if they don’t get it. Here’s my website by the way, so you can see what I do: http://www.marketing-freelancer.com.
Thanks for that link to the LinkedIn discussion. It helped reaffirm my thought on outlining, which is–I think I best stick with it. And thanks for the link to your website. Very impressive. And such good testimonials! I can’t believe that potential client thought $120 was too much. I’m not even in the business, and it seems a steal to me. I am also happy to report that I know what a SWOT analysis is. Had to write one of those up as part of a public health course project.
Thanks, you remind me I need to update my testimonials page. I could do the job with my eyes closed and after 15 years, I think I’m burned out. I still enjoy doing it for clients who really need and appreciate my expertise but doing something different with my other skills might be fun too.
I’m glad you found that LinkedIn discussion useful. It’s always nice to see what a large sample of people think of using outlines.
I do like the discussions on LinkedIn. I have an account, and that’s really all I use it for so far.
Hey Mr NP, dog poop is real life, I’ll have you know. Poop is profound!
I have my own Mr.NP, and he’s in my ear right now. Those self doubts have me in their grip and it’s tightening every time I open my lap top to write. Congratulations on your book, that is a fantastic achievement.
Thank you! And so glad to learn I’m not alone in my self-doubts. Maybe we could bottle up all of our self-doubt and give it to some power-hungry politicians who think they can do no harm. That should bring them down a notch.
Thanks for stopping by!
I have all the same doubts as well, I just don’t pin them on a make-believe character…hehehe. And my first book I wrote on the fly, this current WIP I’m writing somewhat of an outline for.
Well, I have to blame that terrible self-doubt on someone, right?
It seems that what I’ve learned from you and the other commenters out there is that although a lot of writers are pantsters, they understand the value of an outline. Guess I’ll stick with the boring but safer outline for now.
Thanks for stopping by, Wendy!
I read as much as I can about becoming a better writer and there is a lot of info out there that includes some sort of planning. I find myself getting “stuck”quite often now but when I take a few minutes to sit down and write it out, I can easily continue my story.
I so want to create a Super Carrie character complete with a caramel color cape to swoop down upon the pointy-headed Mr. NP whenever he shows his vexing self. She would use her super blogging powers to box him into a corner – where he rightfully belongs. Oh wait, you already did that. You’re my hero! -Nik
What a great idea! Super Carrie–I like that! Unfortunately, instead of a heroic character, I see more of a Clumbsy Carrie image, since sadly, that is closer to the truth (I have the bruises to show it…). But I much prefer your caped crusader!
Thanks for popping in. Appreciate it!
I think you have to do what works for you (re outlining or not). I never could make written outlines work for me even for essays and term papers. The outline, or plan, is in my head, and I never know for sure that each bit is going to work until I actually try composing it on paper (or screen) anyway, so there’s really no point in my writing it down. I do think you need an over-all plan of some kind, however. Otherwise it will be just luck it it comes out well (like “Casablanca”, which I understand didn’t have a script.) Ursula Le Guinn (sp?) is a writer who I’ve been told writes without a plan. I like some of her work, but honestly I think in other cases the lack of a plan shows.
Self-doubt? Oh, you bet!
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. It really helps to hear how others go about things. I still feel like I need an outline for my novel, but it’s been more fun to just write with abandon on my short story. So for now, I will continue to plot out that novel scene by scene, but man, I sure want to get to writing it.
Thanks for stopping by!
haha, put me down as a DE-pantser
This dialogue does sound awfully familiar–but we’ll just have to keep defending our preferences to write about Poo! One of these days, Nasty-Pants will step in it and leave us alone. At least I’m hoping…
I knew there was a writer without pants out there somewhere.
Yes, I figured my brain was not alone in its self-doubt journeys. Thanks for fessing up to yours. And thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. Always wonderful to see a new face!
When the voices in my head speak to me, I listen if they’re being nice or funny, (or using a British accent), but if they’re being dick-weeds, I try to keep the voices to myself. With any luck, I won’t develop an ulcer from all that internalizing. Just now the voices said “Why don’t you have all those hits and comments like that nice crubin girl? You don’t have a book deal like she does, why don’t you stop wasting your time and do something constructive?” Come to think of it, that last voice might have come from my wife and not from inside my head….
Ha ha! Thanks for a good laugh. But I think you are plenty constructive now that you’ve admitted you’re a good guy and work with special needs kids.
I almost included you in today’s post under the part about reading naughty blogs, but since you are more sarcastic than naughty, I didn’t want to mislabel you. But I suspect your time of being singled out on my blog will come when you least expect it (cue evil laugh…)
And for the record, I’m glad I’m not the only one whose internal voices speak with accents, though mine usually come in a harsh Hungarian dialect…
Hungarian?! So the evil voices in your head make goulash references and go on and on about the glories of the Danube? You may need medication. For the record, I’m every bit as naughty as I am sarcastic, but I’m pacing myself before I start alienating and creeping my fellow bloggers out (refer to my high heel and catsuit reference in “I Blame Vincent Price)
Ok. Point taken. I’ll remember that for the next time I’m signaling out the naughties.
And thanks to your Vincent Price post, I now know that bald Gravatar of yours is actually your shiny pate. Wasn’t sure before.
Some people thought that I paid the great Stanley Tucci to model for the gravatar, but he wanted a bit too much cash
Wow, you’d think for such a great honor he’d do it for free.
You are the best, Carrie. Mr. Nasty Pants is an a-hole and he will kill your joy if you let him. The best writing comes when you are having fun with it.
No doubt. And I am having fun, so he can just kiss my fanny. He’s gone for now, but I suspect he might sneak back when I hear from my editor.
Thanks for stopping by!
LOVE! LOVE! This has gotta be one of my favorite posts from you. Wow.. LOVE it.. And here I thought I was the only one having doubt debates with inner demons. HAHA.. LOVE it! Especially phrases like lacking melatonin cheeks, and the spewing cashews from your cheeks. HAHAHAHAh.. Wowee, I can’t wait to read your piece as well!
As Orson Scott Card says (Ender’s Game Best Selling Author), you can write it a thousand different ways and a hundred ways would be write. JUST WRITE.
Pink.
Oh, I like that quote–it’s perfect.
And no, you are certainly not the only one with self-doubt demons. But while you show yours with sweet kitties, apparently I choose poorly-dressed Microsoft Clip Art fiends.
Thanks so much for stopping by and for your kinds words of encouragement. They mean a lot.
Your words mean a lot too! And i LOVE your art!
looking forward to reading more of your awesome musings 
Uh, I like to keep my pants on…definitely. And I hate plotting, but I think that’s my weakness. I have way too much fun creating characters and then letting them go hog wild in their own little adventures. But it takes me forever to finish stories because of that. I tend to like to go through dozens of what-if scenarios to see which one I like best. So…plodding…instead of plotting (that’s me). And now I’m hungry for cashews and chocolate (thanks!).
Well, I owe you from when you tempted me with books that deliver chocolates to the reader every 30 minutes!
It seems from what I’ve learned from the commenters thus far is that many of you are pantsters but think you should do more plotting. That’s actually helpful for me to hear. Makes me feel I’m doing the write thing by taking my time to outline my new WIP. In the meantime, I can do as I please with my short story.
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your style preference. I appreciate it.
What a lovely laugh I had, as usual. My Mr. Nasty Pants comes in the feminine version: skinny, gray-haired, schoolmarmish, with wire-rimmed glasses. I think she is channeling my 3rd-grade teacher who once, when I asked if there was anything I could help with around the classroom, rounded on me and yelled, “Get out of my hair!”. Anyway, if you have the chutzpah to stand up to Mr. N.P. then you certainly have what it takes to write. You go, girl!
Oh, dear, I think I’ll take my Mr. Nasty Pants over your mean schoolmarm. At least Mr. NP leaves kids alone. But yes, I’m getting more courage to face him every day. At least for the time being. Who knows what the future will hold?…
Please tell Mr. NP that outlining is a good thing. JK Rowling outlined and has had a very successful run. I think Stephen King needed to outline Under the Dome because the ending was quite annoying. You keep writing about poop and fun stuff while getting inspiration for your novels. Poop is funny, and you are a great writer. I look forward to buying your novel on Amazon!
All right, then, poop it is! And I do think I’ll keep outlining my novel. As much as I just want to get going on it, I want to make sure I have it well thought out. I’ve heard it can take up to 6 months to really complete a strong storyline/outline, so I am not too far behind. So thanks for the worlds of encouragement. I appreciate it!
Still enjoying your blogs. Sent one to my kids….the two that check, Eric & Robin, absolutely loved them. oxoxo, your Aunt Flo.
Thank you, dear Auntie! That is so cool. I now have 5 family members who have read my blog. Out of about 100. But seriously, I appreciate it!
You never cease to amaze me. Mr. Nasty Pants can go find some toilet paper; he’s going to need it!
And I’ll make sure he only gets his hands on the cheap, scratchy kind.
Thank you, sweet pea!
I think lots of us have these same sort of fears. If you have the time and circumstances to be able to have a go, then try to just enjoy it and see what happens.
I’m not sure I agree with Stephen King on this, I think that is just the method that works best for him. I prefer to outline and have most of a spine this way leaving a little bit open to see what comes out.
Yes, as much as I admire Stephen King and his book “On Writing”, I will likely remain an outliner. But it is fun to just have at it in my short story without planning it out step by step.
I am blessed to have the circumstances that I have right now and am thoroughly enjoying it. But as I’ve said to earlier commenters, I’m also happy I have a valuable skill set in the real world to fall back on if I fall flat on my face, or if my circumstances change.
Thanks for dropping by!
Absolute pantser here, as you already know! Once I got my beta readers comments back, though, I really thought them through before I started making changes. Because once you change one thing, you have to check for all the ramifications in the rest of the story.
I don’t know if King’s totally right about outlining being a constraint. Our creativity takes so many forms, and no two people are exactly alike. If outlining works for your novels, I say go with it.
Self-doubt? Oh, yeah. I know ALL about that! Do you know how many days I feel like a total poseur when it comes to blogging about writing!!??
I hope you hear from your editor on schedule because I’m sure I’m not the only person waiting to hear more about your book and your writing/publishing experience!
Now go give Mr. NP a good kick for good measure.
Oh, I gave him a kick all right. So hard that I heard from one of the other bloggers that he was over at her house hounding her! Whoops.
I know you are a pantster, and I must admit, I really enjoy just tapping away on the keys in my short story–not worrying where I end up (of course, I have some idea). It’s liberating. But it was difficult to work out plot problems in my first novel (well, actually the one getting published is my 2nd novel, but the first really is trash), and the revisions took some time. I want to be more careful with my current WIP. So, we’ll see. But I do enjoy that Mr. King fellow.
I also know what it feels like to be a poseur. But if it helps, you don’t appear as one at all to those of us who read your blog. You are well read on the topic of writing and offer useful tips and info for the rest of us. Your site is very professional. I debated whether I should have made my blog more serious and writing-oriented, but frankly, I decided there are enough writing blogs out there who do much better with the topic than I could, which is why I chose to keep mine light (with hopefully some meaning thrown in from time to time…)
As always, thanks for coming by and for your thoughtful comment!
I think both King and Lamott tell us we should write honestly. And that extends to blogging. So don’t feel like your blog should be something else that isn’t really you. I think you have such a good following and frequent commenters because they enjoy your take on life and writing. I know I do!
Well, thank you for the warm fuzzies. They are the most effective weapon at keeping Mr. Nasty Pants at bay.
You’re right–Mr. Nastypants DOES need to shut his hideous hamburger hole. Self-doubt is very human, and I think is a nearly inescapable (although I don’t believe ‘essential’) facet of creating art. There’s a wonderful book on the subject, Art & Fear (I can’t remember the author off-hand, but do yourself a favor and look for it). I think self-doubt is the biggest single factor preventing more people from being recognized for their art. There are a great many talented people who do NOTHING (you probably remember a few really talented people from college who are insurance salesmen and teachers now–and before anyone rips me, those are both jobs I’ve held), because in the end, they didn’t believe in it enough.
Good for you for quitting your “day job.” Sometimes the only way you learn to swim is by being thrown in the water.
Thanks for the book recommendation. I’ll have to look into it. And although I have my moments of self-doubt like everyone, I try not to wallow in it. No one wants to be around that temperment.
As for the day job, I finally cut the cord a couple months ago. I am blessed to be in a situation where I could do that, but as we all know, life circumstances can quickly change, so luckily, I have a valuable skill set in the real world to fall back on if this year “trial” doesn’t work out. And at least I’ll know I tried.
Thanks for your thoughts.
No problem–I did the same thing, but WITHOUT the valuable skill set to fall back on.
Then you are a very brave individual (backpack?) indeed, which always counts extra.
I’m sad today, and your post made me smile. I’m a pantser who desperately needs to outline.
First of all, I am sorry you are sad. That stinks. I hope at least the sun is shining where you are. Need something to boost those serotonin levels.
And second of all, I’m glad to hear you say you need to outline. Makes me feel better about my choice to stick with outlining my new novel even though I just want to start writing it. But I’ll continue to vent my pantster impulses in my short story.
Thanks for coming by, and hope you get unsad soon!
Ha-ha, I like Mr Nasty Pants – he’s edgy. Far better to just give him a good kicking and get on with it than wallow around in melodrama!
I couldn’t agree with you more. I don’t have time for melodrama, so I do like to give him a taste of his own medicine when I get the nerve. But now that he’s been banished, at least temporarily, I worry he’ll go hassle others.
Take that, Mr. Nasty Pants! I can’t believe he gave you crap and then came right over my house. Hopefully he will stay away from both of us for awhile.
I think I answered your question in my post today. Thank you for the nice comment and for the shout out. I maybe blushed a little bit.
You are very welcome. Your blog is such a treat to read. Funny, brief (which can be important when you read a lot of blogs!), and, of course, naughty.
And sorry my personality fiend dropped by to see you. I never know what he’s up to when he’s not bothering me…
I have only been published in our newspaper, The Fayetteville Observer, in their “Readers Write for Readers” section and a dozen or so features articles as a correspondent. I’va also won a few contests — which were a decade ago. I write the newsletter for my church and I started blogging when Kelly was at UNC Cancer Hospital last year to keep our family and friends updated. Kelly went into remission and we came home. No reason to blog anymore.
Or so I thought. As a Christian, I try very hard to ask God for direction and then do what He asks me to do — which was to start the blog I now write. I fought God for 8 months on this. He was relentless. He even sent my friend, Jodie Bailey (whose book “Freefall” comes out in November from Steeple Hill Publishers), on the encouragement trail.
So on January 2, I gave in. It’s been rewarding. I feel like I’m moving on to a purpose. Don’t know what that purpose is yet, but I feel like I’m finally headed in the right direction. I don’t mind writing in-depth about who I am and what I’ve struggled to overcome in my life, but a constant diet of those kinds of posts leaves me weak.
So, I write a bit of lighter fare, and after I hit the “publish” button, I have this little devil (who doesn’t have a name, but maybe I should give him one) on my shoulder that oh-so-nonchalantly says, “That? That’s what you’re posting today? And that’s your idea of something other people want to read? Oh, you are in so much trouble. What a load of crap!” (See you’re not alone. I can write about poop too!)
So, to wrap up this novella of a comment, I want you to know that although, I don’t know what you’re going through waiting for your editor to get back to you, I *do* know what it’s like to have to fight against that bit of insecurity that would like for you to close your computer and never open it up again — except to play online poker.
If it makes a difference, I love what you write and look forward to your posts. Keep your chin up and buy a set of earplugs for the next time Mr. NP decided to have a chat with you.
A loyal reader, Sandy
P.S. When you book comes out in September and I purchase a copy of it, I want to send it to you so I can have my own autographed copy. Then, when you’re on “The Today Show” or “Live! with Kelly,” I can tell all my friends, “Hey, I know Carrie Rubin. She’s my friend and fellow blogger!”
Feel better, now?
You are too kind, and you made my day. And yes, it does make a difference to know you look forward to my posts. I appreciate hearing you face the same struggles and fears when you go to hit that “publish” button. Although you and I blog about different subject matter, it all comes down to writing the material and being brave enough to put it out there. And yes, it pleases me that you can write about poop, too.
So thank you for stopping by and brightening my day. It is very much appreciated, as always, even if your expectations for my book are a bit lofty (me, on national TV? A ludicrous and horrifying thought for sure!)
BTW, I’m not sure if Kelly is your husband or not, but I’m happy to hear he is in remission, and hopefully will stay that way.
He is my husband of nearly 25 years. Things are looking great for him.
Oh, good! I’ve been married for almost 24 years now myself. Where does the time go?…
Like dead fish after an oil spill, he just keeps surfacing.
Um, I think I’d rather write about poop.
And then you’ll start sweating, start pacing the floor and rubbing your neck and devouring cashew caramel trail mix, because, well, because you QUIT YOUR FREAKING DAY JOB!
For once in your life, shut your hideous hamburger hole.
So crawl back into your cerebral foxhole, you self-doubt asswipe!
Oh, I know, I know! The answer is:
Sentences you won’t find in a Pulitzer Prize winning novel. Well, except maybe the poop one…
You’re a writer. Quick worrying about it. You’re doing your job. Others will do theirs. If not, there will be new others. Validation does not come from editors. It comes from within and from other writers. You are hereby validated! All joy. HF
I didn’t worry so much about writing until I started doing it “full time”. Not that I expect to earn much income from it, but I’d just like to be able to publish and keep doing what I enjoy. At least for this trial period, which my amazing husband told me to go for. But trust me, it is very soothing to know I have a valuable skill set in the real world to fall back on. I’m not a complete idiot, after all. (And no comment from the peanut gallery, please.)
But thank you, Harper. Your words mean much as does your validation, especially from someone I consider one of the best blogging storytellers out there.
Thank you, Carrie. You have talent. Unfortunately, as you know, that is not always enough. I freelanced for 3 years and got rejection after rejection telling me that they enjoyed what I wrote, but it didn’t fit their current needs. Take heart, though, in the fact that if you die, you may be discovered as the great talent you are. It has happened more than once. Sure, it’s a pretty big price to pay, but we sacrifice for our art! Love ya, kid. Keep writing and the world will find you. HF
Well, if I keep devouring cashew caramel trail mix, that posthumous recognition may come earlier than planned…
Thanks!
I’ve pants and I’ve plotted. I like the free flow of letting the story write itself, but it’s nice to not have to rewrite, and by plotting, you avoid some of that.
I can completely relate to self doubt…self loathing…self combustion (I’m at the age of hot flashes and I fully expect to blow up one of these days. Bits and pieces of my smoldering self all over the living room floor.) Art is not a confident sport. It’s created by we sensitive types. Messy business, really.
I love your writing. I can’t wait to read you. I want to hear more about your book!
Thanks, Gina. And once I finally get rolling with the editing process–really should be hearing from them in the next month–I promise to spill more beans. It’s difficult as a private person to discuss it openly, but that is what I promised to do with this blog, so I guess I better deliver. Especially since I am dealing with a mostly e-book publisher, I suspect others will want to know about going with an independent publisher rather than self-publishing or traditional publishing.
Although the publisher I went with (which I’ll divulge once I’m sure everything goes smoothly) had a rocky start 10 years ago when they started with e-books, times have changed, and they’ve come a long way now that e-books are so successful. It’s a relief knowing someone else will take care of the formatting, cover choice, getting it on Amazon, etc.
I think I’ll keep outlining my current WIP, but I definitely enjoy the more nilly willy style with my short story. It’s really liberating to just take off and write. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
By the way, please don’t self-combust. We like you around here!
I have a really hard time telling people about my books. How does one condense a novel into a quick conversations? Plus, I just get all sweaty and nervous! I want to just turn around and run away really fast, hands waving in the air and yowling a high pitched scream. But. That really wouldn’t be a great selling tool!! Orrrrrrrrr would it??? Hmmmmmm.
What a great image. Gave me a good laugh-out-loud. And you might be on to something. If someone videotaped you doing that and put it on You Tube, you might become a household name.
Loved this — I identify.
Thanks, Fay. I figured a lot of people out there could identify. Of course, maybe the rest of you don’t spew cashews and chocolate caramel balls from your mouth while you talk to your demons, but, well, you know…
Wow…what a jerk! Oh well, glad to hear that it’s not getting you down!
I was curious, I’m sure you’ve probably said before but I’m lazy- what is your novel about? Hopefully something I’ll find interesting so I can be one of the first to buy it!
It’s a medical thriller. Deals with a pandemic, which I know has been done before, but in my defense, I wrote it 8 years ago–well before “Contagion” came out.
It has a bit of a science fiction twist as well, however, so that makes it a little different from the others. Thanks for asking and for stopping by!
Well, it should be all good because I have yet to experience Contagion!
Sounds exciting, can’t wait til it’s out!
You’re sweet. Thank you!
Good for you – telling Mr. Nasty Pants to stick it! Keep it up girlie – you’re doing great
Yes, well, we’ll see how long my newfound confidence lasts. I give it 24 hours…
Thanks for the positive words and for stopping by!
Panster for sure. Good for you in telling mr. NP to sit down and shut-up. However, I bet a part of you listened to him and heeded his advice.
I have to admit, writing my short story as a pantster has been liberating. It’s fun just to let the story unfold. If I’m not sure about something, I just make a note to research it later. On the other hand, I don’t know if I’m ready to be that free with an entire novel. It’s much more difficult to fix plot problems after the fact. So for now, I will probably keep outlining my current WIP. But it’s possible I may end up a flip-flopper after all.
Thanks for visiting!
I agree with everything you’ve said. That’s profound.
I agree with everything you haven’t said. That’s even more profound.
Wait….searching for something stupid to say. Hmmmm pause pause…
Nope…all out of stupid………
Don’t worry. There will be plenty of time for stupid when I post about poo again. With me, adolescent humor is only a post away…
Thanks for stopping by!
Great post! I think you touch on the fear most of us new writers have. I’m actually just finishing the final draft of my novel (yes I can write more than 50 words) before I start sending it out. All I can think is “wow, this really sucks” and “I’m totally wasting my time with this. No one will want to read it.” But still, I work on, determined to see this project through to the end.
It is helpful to know others experience the same fears. We all know how difficult trying to have a go at a writer’s life can be, and I imagine most of us do not envision making much money from the process. I know I don’t. I just hope to be able to get books published and maybe have a few satisfied readers, so that I can continue to do what I love. I’m very fortunate to be in this position, but as I’ve said before, life’s circumstances can change, so it’s good I have other worthwhile skills to fall back on.
Good luck with your novel. How exciting that you’re almost ready to send it out. I didn’t realize you were so near completion. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you!