A Beautiful Contradiction

Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

You see, I’ve received the Beautiful Blogger Award by the witty, charming, and beautiful I Mayfly. This may or may not be her real name, but if it is, she has my sympathy. On the other hand, her parents have my stink eye.

The rules are simple. All I need to do is express my gratitude to my lovely insect friend (thank you, I Mayfly!) and pass the honor to other bloggers. For those of you who enjoy rules and order, I have included the award regulations at the end of this post.

Absent from these rules is any requirement I divulge personal information about myself, a gift for which we are all grateful. But I have to give you something, no? And since it won’t be my chocolate, I’ll need an alternative. And yes, I like to start sentences with conjunctions. And no, I don’t care if The Elements of Style tells me I shouldn’t. But yes, I do care what you think. So yes, I’ll stop if you want me to.

So what to do? What to do? What ties into the theme of beautiful blogger?

This could be me, but there's no chocolate smeared around her mouth, so it must not be. (Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art)

Got it!

The sexy/ugly game, of course!

Years ago, my sister and I enjoyed a sincere but cruel game of sexy/ugly. This involves naming a celebrity who’s ugly but at the same time sexy. A Google canoodle the other day assured me I wasn’t the only one to play this game, but my search was cursory. As a science gal, I never want to introduce bias.

I’ll admit, I hesitated about this post, because I don’t enjoy poking fun at others unless they deserve it. But then I realized the soon to be mentioned celebrities have armpit hair more important than me, and any hurt feelings generated by my adolescent musings would be more than compensated by their mansions, pool floaties, and well-dressed pooches.

So here goes. My list of sexy/ugly is:

David Bowie—Not only sexy and ugly but hip as well. A triple threat.

Angelica Huston—A face like a drag queen but sexy as hell.

Billy Bob Thornton—Introspective and he sports vials of blood.

Sandra Bernhard—An apt surname given that prominent proboscis and gap-toothed grin can both burn and make… (Oh, now I really apologize for that last one.)

Tommy Lee Jones—A younger Tommy Lee Jones, not the current Shar-pei version.

Image credit: dogbreedworld.net

Mick Jagger—Maroon 5 didn’t make a song about those gyrating hips for nothing.

Steven Tyler—Best. Accessorizer. Ever. Just stay away from that mouth. It’s big enough to eat you.

Sam Shepard—Rugged and manly. But don’t Google his 2009 mug shot unless you’re hankering for a shudder.

Joan Cusack—Hmmm, I guess I’ll let you be the judge on this one. Might be too mom-ish for some.

The Hangover Monkey—Come on, you know it’s true.

Image credit: mediagallery.usatoday.com

So there you have it. Evidence once again of an education gone wrong. The astute among you will notice the list contains more men than women (and believe me, I had to scrounge for those women) and too many lily-white visages. Might this be because ugly white men can make it in Hollywood easier than their less comely female and ethnic colleagues? I’ll skip the social commentary, but just saying…

So who are your sexy/uglies? If you are too dignified to answer, then I am interested in your opinion on solving the U.S. health care crisis, a discussion on the fragility of the current global economy, or the solution to unsustainable oil production. What’s that? You’ll stick with the sexy/ugly? Thought so.

*     *     *

The rules for the Beautiful Blogger Award are:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award
2. Paste the award on your blog
3. Link the person who nominated you for the award
4. Nominate your choice of bloggers
5. Post links to the blogs you nominated

As you can see, there is no specified number of victims to pass the award on to. Therefore, I gift it to everyone. Feel free to accept it and paste it onto your own blog or not. A cop out, you say? Perhaps. But such inclusiveness is my appreciation to everyone who has clicked my follow button. Because to me, that really is beautiful…

120 Responses to “A Beautiful Contradiction”

    • crubin

      I don’t know about that, but I do know I eat my share of them…

      Thanks, for stopping by Polly!

      Like

  1. Fay Moore

    What an amazing humorist you are. That wit is wicked. Just don’t turn it loose on me, unless you are needing hamburger for tonight’s menu. . . .xoxo

    Like

    • crubin

      Oh, I’m always kind to anyone sweet enough to read my blog and put up with my arrested development. Promise. Now go accept your Beautiful Blogger Award. You most certainly deserve it.
      :)

      And thank you for the warm fuzzy!

      Like

      • Fay Moore

        Sweetheart, I am dense as a door — what did I miss? Beautiful Blogger Award??? Am I sleep walking through the world again?

        Like

  2. didiita

    Sexy/Ugly game? Is it like, when you see a dog that’s so ugly he’s cute? It usually only happens to me with dogs… and Nutrias (they are cute from far away!) but not with people really…
    I do agree with ONE of your celebrities, Tommy Lee Jones! <– you're too funny!

    Like

    • crubin

      Also along the lines of “a face only a mother could love.” Not very nice of me, for sure, but kind of fun to play.
      :)

      Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and for the follow. I appreciate it!

      Like

  3. La La

    What a fun game, I especially agree with David Bowie. I am going to start using sexy-ugly as a word.

    Like

  4. Kathy V.

    If you’re still looking for female non-Caucasians, I can’t decide if Sandra Oh is god-awful ugly or ridiculously beautiful. It’s definitely not anything in between, though. And your comparison of Tommy Lee Jones to a shar-pei was the funniest thing I’ve read today!

    Like

    • crubin

      Oh, she’s a perfect choice! Thank you! The first person to come up with a non-Caucasian female who fits the list. Now I can sleep better tonight. Which really does tell you a thing or two about my mind set…

      Thanks so much for stopping by and for the follow. Now go collect your beautiful award.
      :)

      Like

  5. Smaktakula

    I showed up here today because I was told the word “penis” would be used in a post. I can’t help but feel deceived.

    Like

    • crubin

      So sorry to confuse an already addled mind. My bad. I should have said it was coming out Thursday. In fact, I’m working on it now…

      Like

  6. Berducci

    Sandra Bernhard? Only on 1 list and it is not the sexy list.

    Like

    • crubin

      So she doesn’t float your boat, huh? That’s okay. I suspect you don’t float hers either if you know what I mean.
      ;)

      Like

  7. lynnettedobberpuhl

    Sam Elliott! He makes me melty inside. Also I had an Alan Alda dream in the 80’s that has made me look at him in a completely different light ever since, but I don’t expect anyone else to get that. I think Dame Judy Dench is beautiful, but my husband thinks I’m nuts. In fact, our version of your game is when he asks me, “So what about that actor? Do you think he/she is good looking? (implying impossibility)” I have a low threshold for beauty, I guess.

    Not surprisingly, I haven’t been nominated for an award since I threw a word-bomb at them on my blog some months ago. I don’t hate them, but I might be too lazy for them. So I will secretly accept your award and not do anything about it but feel good that you gave it to me (I also have a low threshold for gratitude.) Peace!

    Like

    • crubin

      I’m glad to see others stoop to my level and play similar adolescent games. And I agree with your choices, although I’m with you, Dame Judy Dench is too attractive to be considered “ugly”.
      :)

      The whole blogger award thing leads to taking sides, doesn’t it? Some play the game; others don’t. To me, either way is cool. But to be sure, I take it with a grain of salt and a heavy dose of humor. They’re not exactly rare, after all.
      ;)

      Thanks for dropping by! Nice to see you back. I’m sure you are very busy with your new job, which I hope is going well for you.

      Like

    • crubin

      Oh, yes, he deserves to be on there. Although, he’s a bit sinister as well…

      Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. I appreciate it!

      Like

  8. starlaschat

    I like that those who click your follow button get the award, very clever. And, I was confused about the grammer part, but that’s just me. I will have to give this sexy/ugly game some thought I will get back to you on after giving it some thought. :+)

    Like

    • crubin

      If I haven’t left someone confused, then I haven’t done my job…

      Feel free to accept the Beautiful Blogger Award. It sounds like you could use a pick-me-up after the past couple weeks you’ve had.
      :)

      Like

    • crubin

      Well, I do tend to stray a bit in my award acceptance posts. One must keep things fresh, yes? Plus, it’s my waying of showing I don’t take the whole blog award thing too seriously. But it’s fun to play the game.
      :)

      Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to accept the award. Bloggers like you who make others laugh are certainly beautiful!

      Like

  9. valleygirl96

    Congratulations on the award – well deserved. As for the ugly/sexy people…I thought I was the only one who played that game!

    Like

    • crubin

      So glad to learn there are other educated people that sink to my level. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and good luck on yours. It looks like a fresh one!

      Like

  10. robincoyle

    Here all this time I thought I was the only one that thinks Angelina is unattractive. She reminds me of Cruella DeVille from 101 Dalmatians.

    Like

    • crubin

      If they ever do a remake of the film, she’s now got my vote for lead actress.
      :)

      Thanks for stopping by and sinking to my level!

      Like

  11. subtlekate

    I have this very disturbing imagine in my head of you being swallowed by Steven Tyler with just your legs hanging out of his mouth. I told you it was disturbing. I support Emma’s nomination of Alan Rickman. I’d do him and I don’t know why.

    I love the award to everyone theme.

    Like

    • crubin

      That IS a disturbing image. Of course, dangling legs from lips could be a new fashion accessory for Steven. He’s already tried everything else…

      And yes, I think Alan Rickman definitely deserves a spot on that list.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

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