Help A Girl Out With Her Periods
Oh, come on, I don’t mean that kind of period. Good god, I don’t even floss my teeth in front of my husband. Do you really think I’d discuss personal feminine issues? But I had to rope you in somehow, and now that I’ve trapped you (just ask GM Barlean how good I am at that), I hope you’ll stick around.
Kids, there’s a boring topic in the neighborhood today. Let’s try to make it fun.
Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art
I need to confirm where to put periods when dealing with quotation marks that set off titles or quoted or spoken language—is it before or after the final quotation mark? For example, which of the following is correct?
A. My son’s favorite new made-up word is “paenus”. It is a combination of his two other favorite words “penis” and “anus”.
Or would it be:
B. My sons call my Prius the “Vagina Car.”
Although the content of those examples is regrettably true, ignore the implied parenting failure, and tell me where to put the freaking period. Is it after the final quotation mark as in exhibit A or before the final mark as in exhibit B?
The Elements of Style was no help, so I reached out to my good friend Google. From the Guide to Grammar and Writing, I found the following:
“In the United States, periods and commas go inside quotation marks regardless of logic.”
Well, that’s a shocker.
The fact that my chubby, reality-TV obsessed country defies logic will surprise no one, but the source goes on to say that in the American style, the period goes before the final quotation mark as such: “paenus.” But in the United Kingdom, Canada, and other locations influenced by British education, the period goes after the final quotation mark like this: “anus”. The same holds true for commas.
Fair enough. Clear as chocolate pudding, though I still prefer the Bristish way. But what about punctuation other than periods and commas? Well, according to the same source, all other marks follow the final quotation mark, as in:
A. Shouldn’t a father intervene when a son swats his mother’s fanny with a dishtowel, laughs, and calls her “jiggly butt”?
Or
B. Sometimes I enjoy a good shimmy and shake to LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It” or a pleasant head bobbing to Rob Zombie’s “Dragula”; nothing clears a room faster.
These last two examples apply to Americans as well as those from other lands. The punctuation part, that is. Not the jiggly butt part…
Image credit: zazzle.com
So, tell me, do I have my facts straight? Have I interpreted these rules correctly? And for those of you who aren’t writers or who couldn’t give a ferret’s foreskin about periods and commas, what loving terms do your children call you? Your significant others? What songs get you hopping? Are daughters as fascinated with human anatomy as sons? Whatever you’ve got, I’ll take it.
Related articles
- Tips for using punctuation with quotation marks (writeorrevisedaily.wordpress.com)
- Unnecessary Quotation Marks (johnbalaya.wordpress.com)
- The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks… and other funny blogs (julie-pruitt.com)
155 Responses to “Help A Girl Out With Her Periods”
[...] you please help me? You’ve helped me place my periods, choose my point of view, pick my books, and decide on dream posts. Why not help choose my [...]
I know it’s not really dead-on-topic, but two of my favourite self-made curse words are ‘penarse’, the hideous hybrid of a penis and an arse, much like your son, and ‘anarse’, the even more repugnant combination of an anus and an arse, if you can imagine such a thing.
Great post, sorry about my mind being in the gutter!
Words like that are a common occurence in my house, so no apologies needed. Tends to happen with two sons, both of whom would enormously enjoy your self-made words. In fact, you would rate highly in their minds because of them.
I appreciate you visiting so many of my posts and for your comments. Is much appreciated.
Well, that’s made my day! Another good crude portmanteau is ‘custard’, a medley of ‘bastard’ and the Worst Word in the World, and acceptable in polite company.
No problem, I like to be thorough.
I came to WordPress a newbie, just to talk at people, but I’ve ‘met’ so many excellent folks here, and they’ve all got something great to say.
I agree–the commenting and responding to others’ comments can be the best part.
As for “custard,” thank goodness my boys haven’t caught onto that “c” word yet. Of course, they’d face serious consequences if they said it in my home. But “penis,” “anus,” and “vagina”? No problem.
‘If it’s in the Medical Dictionary, anything goes.’
Ha ha–just like if it’s on the Internet, it must be true.
[...] I don’t mean that kind of stacked. (Perhaps you have grown accustomed to following the The Write Transition and now expect all writing blogs to effortlessly—and humorously—combine discussion of [...]
[...] style plus I always chuckle or can relate to something pithypants- LOVE! especially balcony post! The Write Transition- clever, witty, and informative. Also love hearing what comes out of the mouths of her children. A [...]
Okay, American way when I punctuate my quotable text. Music that NEVER fails to geet me moving (with lots of jiggling, I promise): Pibull’s THE ANTHEM and Ricky Martin’s THE CUP OF LIFE? Oh one more: J-Lo’s LET’S GET LOUD. Never ever fails to get my Latin on the shake.
Pitbull is always good for some jiggling!
Thanks for the feedback. This post really helped me. I now place my quotation mark related periods with confidence.
[...] my post about my struggle with period placement within or outside quotation marks, your comments sealed my knowledge better than published grammar [...]
I had this pretty well settled in my mind as doing it the American way, until I got an iPad, and the auto-correct continually tries putting a period after my quotes. Then I started to wonder if my iPad knew something I didn’t. Now I know, my iPad is British!
Ha! I never noticed that with my IPad or IPhone. I’ll have to pay attention next time I use it.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
I just loved this! I grew up with English Grammar and the having lived in North America, learned the American way also. I am and will be also grammar dyslexic now as a result of this. I won’t even get into spelling…color colour…
It’s funny, because I never paid much attention to these differences until I started blogging and got on Twitter and noticed the different styles and spellings: favorite/favourite, traveling/travelling, etc. I guess that’s what they have grammar books and the Internet for…
Thanks for dropping by!
[...] little blog friend, and excellent blogger carrierubin.com challenged me to put some of her son’s verbal diarrhoea into some haiku. Carrie is a great blogger, if you’ve not seen her blog, check it [...]
ROFL! I can’t answer I’m laughing so loud – you are sooooooo funny Carrie x
Well, thank you! But sadly, I only have my son’s inappropriate language to thank for this one.
She-sus Christ, this is good. I mean, “FERRET’S FORESKIN???!!!!” Notice, i put the punctuation before the end quote there. so, true, carrie, so true. i have also struggled with this period issue. the truth is i tend to do grammar by “feel,” which is like saying that you do intricate carving by stabbing. xoxo
“Grammar by ‘feel’,”–I love that. “By feel” also seems to be the technique I used to write my first novel, which I’m discovering now that I’m reading all of the how-to manuals. Whoops. Probably should have gone there first…
Thanks for stopping by, Missy. I know you are swimming in a world of chaos at the present time. You just need your Gayby. That will certainly slow things down…
According to http://www.grammartips.homestead.com: All periods and commas go within the quotes in the US, no exceptions ; question marks and exclamation marks are placed “logically.” Also,
“And just why, you may ask, do they belong there? Well, it seems to be the result of historical accident. When type was handset, a period or comma outside of quotation marks at the end of a sentence tended to get knocked out of position, so the printers tucked the little devils inside the quotation marks to keep them safe and out of trouble. But apparently only American printers were more attached to convenience than logic, since British printers continued to risk the misalignment of their periods and commas.”
My favorite stupid rule is: Rule 4 from http://www.grammarbook.com
Use single quotation marks for quotes within quotes. Note that the period goes inside all quote marks.
Example:
He said, “Danea said, ‘Do not treat me that way.’”
Ah! Triple quotes! Or single-double quotes!
Thanks so much for that link! Looks like a useful site. I tagged it to my favorites for future reference. And thanks for the history on this whole inside/outside thing. Very interesting. My only confusion now is that a couple of the readers noted that the use of single quotatations is becoming more mainstream, and in this case, the period goes on the outside of the single quote, regardless whether US or British way. Yikes, my head is spinning!
Possibly time for a margarita and a good book. (Don’t look at where the author puts the periods and commas, just read!)
Thank you for several things:
1. A lesson in making your title a good hook
2. Permission to start using all the words I thought were verboten in polite speak
AND,
3. A chance to grind my teeth and scratch my eyes out publicly.
I hate this topic. I’ve never gotten it right/write and you will find my posts filled with all the variations mentioned above! What I think is right (American schooling) is the the “full stop” (love that terminology!) goes within the quote marks. EXCEPT (you knew there would be one) for something….I can’t remember what it is, I just know how to do it. I think.
PS, I majored in English so this is the final word. Sort of. Maybe. Possibly. Crap.
Oh, boy, if you majored in English and still get confused, there is no hope for me!
I always put the periods inside the quotes, but the exclamation points and question marks outside the quotes, unless they’re part of the quote (like you quoted an exclamation of surprise or a question). But, in Germany they put the periods outside the quotes, so now I’m all confused. Oh well.
Whenever I’m vexed, it’s definitely time to put on I’m Sexy And I Know It or Welcome to St. Tropez and shake my booty!!!
Who would have thought that those of you passing the time in a foreign country would have to modify your punctuation patterns?! It’s always something…
I think “I’m Sexy and I Know It” would be a very motivating song for your clients.
You totally hooked me. I thought this was going to be about PMS.
I guarantee you will never see a post about PMS on my blog. On the other hand, posts about bowel habits (though not my own) are quite likely. Go figure.
With a British education I did put them outside the marks, but not always, there are exceptions just to frustrate us, but having written my dissertation in the US, I quickly moved to putting them inside the marks as per the standard at the time and have pretty much stuck with that. I hate unlearning a habit. Or is that just laziness? I shall ask SBM. He is the grammar king.
Okay, now I am embarrassed. Who is SBM?
One would think I would have already learned this rule. After all, I wrote a book and have written in my profession for years, including a recent master’s thesis that resulted in a publication. But for some reason, this little quotation mark/period thing slipped by me (and of course, I’m not talking about use of it in a full sentence or dialogue–I’m not that daft!)
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your insight. Is always appreciated!
Here’s my two penn’orth: on this side of the water double quotes are only used for direct speech, as in: “My vagina car’s been clamped.” The quotes always fall outside the period (or full stop, to be impossibly English). But when you refer indirectly to a term or nickname single quotes are used, and these always fall inside the period: he refers to her Prius as her ‘vagina car’. That also applies to quotes, as in ‘Dun because we were too menny’ – god, why did I have to think of that one? Or ‘Even such is time’. I think I’m getting depressed.
Well, I’m sorry I made you depressed, but I’m so happy you stopped by! You helped further clarify what another commenter was saying about the use of single quotes for a specific term or nickname becoming more mainstream. And from what I’m understanding from both of you is that when the single quotes are used, the punctuation falls outside of the quotes, whether goofy American or sophisticated Brit (descriptive adjectives my own…and don’t even get me started on the USA’s refusal to formerly adopt the metric system, a much more logical system in my opinion but apparently too logical for my compatriots…)
So thank you for the clarification, and you can thank me for the opportunity I gave you to write sentences using hybrid cars and female anatomy.
You just have to get your peroids in before everyone else, huh.
Here in Australia we learn to put our period before as well, and we have for a number of years. I converted with some trouble, but people around my age and on usually use the old British way. The result is, our periods are all over the place. ( By the way, we call them full stops. I don’t why. )
So now the Australians are doing it the American way, and the Americans are shifting to the British way, but only when single quotes are used. Good grief–I need to go back to being ignorant. It was easier to write a novel when I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Now I’m learning the rules. Guess I went in the wrong order…
BTW, I did wear lipstick the other day as promised, but I must admit, it was of a fair shade. I did not want to shock anyone too severely.
Hope you are feeling okay.
How fantastic. I’m honoured you did. Yes starting to come good thanks. Getting my sense of humour back again.
Glad to hear it!
Oh, if I only had a ferret’s foreskin to give.
I often dance and pretend I’m the chipmunk from Caddy Shack while I sing “Tequila.” As demonstrated, I am fond of periods before quotations.
BUT, I default to whatever the old editor tells me to do.
Thanks for a laugh at the end of a long day!
I would buy 10,000 books from you just to see you pretend to be the “Caddy Shack” chipmunk dancing to “Tequila”! Now that’s a video blog you most definitely should make. Talk about promotion!
I was looking through my manuscript last night and found a few instances where I put the period outside of the quotes in the British manner. I’ll see if my assigned editor notices. I would certainly hope he or she does!
Have a great weekend.
I had 2 editors on my CS series and I have STILL had people point out errors. I just read a trad. pubbed book and it was chock full of errors.
Yeah, I figure I’ll need to be on my toes and not assume others will catch everything.
A feret’s foreskin….you are crazy! hahaha
I think the period inside the quotations looks better, but common sense tells me it should go on the outside.
And to me the period on the inside looks weird. Guess we are both misrepresenting our countries.
Well, I continuously misrepresent my gender, so why not my country!
Ha ha–good one!
I actively avoid writing these kinds of sentences. I’m clear on the period in quotes being an American thing, but the question mark and comma outside quotes just feels wrong. It feels, gasp, Britishy.
But I believe you. Truly I do. 
I’m just amazed it took me this many years to address this issue. That’s the scary part. I was looking over my manuscript tonight and found times where I used the “British” technique. We’ll see if my editor chastises me or not. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of other things to keep him or her busy.
Chances are your editor will go with “house style.”
LMJBO
I’m guessing that means: Laughing My Jiggly Butt Off? If so–good one!!! It should become an often-used acronym as far as I’m concerned.
You guessed it!
I believe you have got the punctuation right. Lynn Truss, in “Eats, Shoots & Leaves,” puts it succinctly: “The basic rule is straightforward and logical: when the punctuation relates to the quoted words it goes inside the inverted commas; when it relates to the sentence, it goes outside. Unless, of course, you are in America.”
And I did not feel the least bit bad about putting that final period inside the quotes. It was, after all, Ms Truss’ period. But I waffled over whether to put the comma after “Leaves” before or after the closing quotation mark. Just exactly how illogical am I required to be based on living in America? Seriously, I have trouble with this too. A lot.
All day today, I have been punctuating my quotation marks the “American way” so that I get used to it, but it still looks strange to me. I’m not sure why I never thought about this before. I’ve written for years–not necessarily fiction but other materials. But since I’ve started blogging, it’s been bugging me. Go figure.
Thanks for stopping by, Carol! I appreciate it.
I think now that you and your husband have a child who’s old enough to make up words out of fun body parts, you should be secure enough in your relationship to start flossing in front of the man. Once you and the mister have entered this deeper state of one-ness, he will likely come to your defense and chastise your youngster for referring to Mommy’s lovely fanny as a jiggly butt. Or maybe not…it’s worth a shot.
It will never happen. Some things are meant to remain private. And that includes anything taking place in a bathroom. I guess I’ll have to endure the jiggle butt comments, secure in my knowledge that I could outlast both my husband and son in a squat- and lunge-athon.
Thanks for bringing your shiny pate my way. It’s always appreciated!
Have an upcoming post you’ll possibly relate to…you were a nurse in your former life, right?
Not a nurse, but if it’s medically oriented, I can relate.
Up to now, this one was my favorite, since I’ve started reading your blogs……
Oh, good! But then again, I shouldn’t be surprised you enjoy adolescent humor. We share the same blood, after all.
Thanks for visiting!
Thanks for replying….would love to see you and your boys….ox….fb.
So funny! I usually keep it all in quotes, if I can remember to pay attention to it all
As usual then, you are a step ahead of me. But I’m happy to trail behind the rest of you. That way I’m sure not to miss a thing!
Girls aren’t as fascinated with anatomy as boys. I’m glad, since I have 3 girls and only 1 boy. You hit the nail (or the period) on the head with this post. It always bugs me when I find periods outside of quote marks (my daughter does it no matter how many times I tell her no). To me, the period or comma is so small it gets LOST when its outside the quotes. A question mark, semi-colon, etc are bigger and can hold their own in the world outside of quotation marks.
If you go back and look at comments I’ve left on your blog, I’m sure you’ll find lots of periods outside the quotation mark.
It just looks better to me. But now that I realize we do things different in the good ol’ US of A, I will conform. Mainly so I don’t annoy an editor. 
As for having only one boy–my guess is that’s still enough for your dinner conversation to nosedive into anatomy jokes.
Yes, especially when he always has friends over. It’s like I have more boys than girls. I guess I just try to ignore them…or send them outside when their conversation turns downward.
Far be it from me to appear jingoistic but British is best, although I am no expert. That is why I have avoided periods as much as possible in this comment!
Well, even a biased opinion has its time and its place, so you’re safe with your British preference.
The punctuation rules are so odd, aren’t they? It is always a challenge to teach 9th graders how to punctuate with quotation marks. I just tell them to keep all of the punctuation inside if it is dialogue, but if it is not dialogue, keep their commas and periods inside, and ask for help with what to do with the rest. I usually refer to the AP Stylebook (mainly because I majored in journalism).
I think yours may be the simplest way to remember yet. Maybe I’m complicating things by knowing which country does what and so on. Guess that means I’m like a 9th grader. Which is scary, because that’s exactly what my son who enjoys these “creative” words is!
Thanks for stopping by!
My daughter and some of siblings call me a “pinhead,” due to the size of my head. While doing a dissertation, “brag,brag,” the APA that I used required quotation marks after any form of sentence ending. Not sure what Terabian (sp?) would say. That was back in the 80′s; yes Carrie has some “older readers” on her blog.
Well, it’s better to have a pinhead than a bowling ball head, I think. And yes, I am familiar with APA style. It sucks, to be honest.
Chicken cooked breast side up or down? Punctuation inside or outside quotes? Life is so complicated! But I think you were right yesterday about the breasts, and Lala’s nuns were right about punctuation inside quotes.
And that’s two complicated questions down. How many more to go?…
Good question, and I suppose you are asking the right people! I do the inside the quotes thing because that is what the nuns taught me and I do not want to go to hell.
Best reason I’ve heard yet! But you won’t go to hell. Even heaven needs naughty girls.
“Ferret foreskin” – bwahahaha! Thanks for making my day! I’m Canadian, so my punctuation is politely placed post-quote.
I have no kids, I’ll dance to just about anything, and Hubby calls me Gorgeous (possibly because he’s watched me beat up my 230-lb punching bag in the basement… but I prefer to think he means it. I cling to my illusions.)
Now that’s a sweet hubby. Mine still calls me “Hotstuff,” and although I doubt it was ever true, it means the world to me that he still says it.
Keep punching that bag. And keep writing ball-themed limericks!
ferrets foreskins, begod.. baaahahahahahah. lord. sorry. Thank you for addressing a topic I agonize about every time I “”!
…I “!”?
wait
…I “!,?” ?
lord.. feedback loop. make it stop.
And you have it especially hard as an American living abroad!
Are you kidding? I’m freaking Dr. Merriam Webster to these people.
Can’t…get…past…..the title. Haahahahahahah. ahem. Okay. Going to read the rest now.
It’s good to see some of my loyal male followers still stopped by after that title!
Wow, you’d make a fun grammar teacher! And you’d get a look of giggles, and maybe some butt jiggles too…
Punctuation inside the quotation marks is the American way and I hate it! It’s so illogical and I want to bet, just like the metric system, 95% of the world uses punctuation marks outside of the quotation marks. Americans always want to stand out, in the weirdest way.
Can you guess which way punctuation go in French? Inside, of course, like the rest of the world. Oh, except the U.S., that is… I think they did it just to piss off the Brits!
Ha ha! Americans do like to stand out, don’t we? And nothing better illustrates that than our skyrocketing BMIs, but, alas, that is a topic for a different post…
I would do cartwheels down the hall if we’d adopt the metric system. Having a medical background, this is what I prefer to use. I couldn’t tell you a quart from a pint. But I guess since the metric system is so logical, by definition, we Americans must stay away from it. But again, another topic for another post…
Thanks for stopping by! I think I was commenting on your blog while you commented on mine. C’est bizarre.
You want to know what bizarre? It’s spelled bizzare in French! How annoying is that? And I want to check wherever that word comes from, it had 2 Zs! My son is already getting exposed to the metric system in kindergarten but I know things will never change in our lifetime. The rest of the world used to measure things with their feet and thumbs, but then they invented something better and much easier!
I can’t wait to read your post on BMIs. It would be a lot more shocking than periods!
Oops. I meant “bizzare.” Sure I did…
Well, how is this for an interesting word…
Origin:
1640–50; < French < Italian bizzarro lively, capricious, eccentric, first attested (circa 1300) in sense “irascible”; of disputed orig.
So it originally had 2 Rs and 2Zs. The British got rid of 1 Z and the French of 1 R.
Well, its meaning is appropriate then!
You potty-mouth you! I’m a inside the quotation mark gal.
Which means you follow the rules like a smart, normal person. Guess I better conform since I do live here in the US. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it…
Thanks for dropping by!
[...] The Write Transition [...]
I’m with some of the other comments, I think you only posted this so you could talk about anus, vagina and so on!
I’m a Brit so I had the period on the outside. We would call it (a period) a full stop so that aids in remembering. That said I still get confused with where to put a question mark, especially in speech, as surely the question mark is part of the speech and not a comment on the speech. Oh I don’t know…
Oh, great, now I’ll have to do a post on question marks. The good news is, I have plenty of fodder to use from my son’s verbal diarrhea. And you are right, I took great enjoyment on being able to use those anatomical words.
Thanks as always for dropping by! Now, I challenge you to do a Haiku based on my son’s vocabulary…
I might try and add that in to Monday’s Haiku!
Hopefully you won’t lose followers…Of course, think of the ones you’ll gain.
The only thought in my head right now – aren’t butts supposed to giggle? What is the possible fun of having a rock hard buttock? Just asking!
Ha ha! I just read the way you spelled “jiggle.” You put “giggle.” I think you meant “jiggle,” but the “giggle” made me laugh, because perhaps my butt giggles, too!
And although I may not have a rock hard buttock, I do pride myself on the number of squats and lunges I can do, and everytime my son calls me “jiggle butt,” I challenge him to a squat-off. For some reason, he always refuses. What? Is doing squats with your mom weird?…
Color me pink faced. Yes, I did mean jiggle (as in supple, lithe, spry), but I guess sometimes a butt is prone to ‘giggle’ when stressed.
Picturing yoga class now. Embarrassing.
However, this one may not be as unfortunate as the time I typed thong in the place of throng (referring to a crowd of people). Imagine the size of the butt that could accommodate a thong of people! Sorry. That’s probably a conversation for sons and fathers…
Oh, thanks for some good laughs!
First of all, ‘Vagina Car’ is the perfect name for the Prius.
I typically put all punctuation inside of quotes (until reading this post, it hadn’t even occurred to me that different punctuation might also be placed differently), except where it doesn’t look right.
Paenus is also an awesome word, because it sounds like Latin, and maybe something a smart person would know. Peanus Librum Vibratum Rex!
Hmmm, I don’t know what that last sentence means, but I did find online that a Peanus is a penis shaped like a peanut. So see? Even in your filth, you educate me.
And I must apologize, because I suspect my use of the word “penis” in today’s post was very anticlimactic for you. And there really was no pun intended there, but take it if you like.
Finally, I’ll have you know my Prius can accelerate quite impressively, and use much less gas in doing so…
Granted–but at what cost to the environment? The batteries in V-Cars are reputed to be toxic.
Well, the nickel metal hydride batteries of hybrids are supposed to be better than lead acid or nickel cadmium batteries, and with non-hybrids there’s that whole carbon dioxide thing, so you know, just saying…
Also, keep in mind: if you are quoting a sentence from a source, for example: “Kids, there’s a boring topic in the neighborhood today. Let’s try to make it fun.” you do include the period inside the quotation marks because it is part of the quote
and thank you for making this absolutely hilarious! I’m sending this to my brother so he can learn it once and for all!!!
OK, now I did a little research, because I love this topic. I guess most people are right about the punctuation going inside the quotation mark here in the US. WEIRD!! I guess I learned the British way.
Does anyone else feel like doing it the American way is just a lazy?
Anyway…. Here’s a GREAT article from a website I need to visit more often:
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/quotation-marks-with-periods-and-commas.aspx
Oh, that’s too funny, because I just tracked down that webpage myself! But thanks for thinking on similar brain waves. Makes me feel less alone. But then again, as an introvert, I like being alone…
Thanks so much for the confirmation! I don’t have a problem with where punctuation goes if it’s in dialogue or the whole statement is a quote, but it was these other cases that threw me off. So it’s nice to have so many others come to my rescue.
And I’m glad I didn’t scare you off with the adolescent humor. Without that, I wouldn’t have a blog…
I write for work… in America, and I would confirm your interpretation. Sorry, but it always bugs me when people put the period after the quotes, like “Sexy and I Know It”. Bugs. It’s hard to keep reading without wanting to do some kind of edit on their stuff. ; )
Boys simply cannot stop talking about their junk. My son must mention his at least three times a day. We all roll our eyes. My daughter, on the other hand, would die rather than bring up private parts as a fun conversation starter.
I am a little tired of chewing during dinner and having to ask both my husband and son to stop talking about: bodily functions, body parts, inappropriate words and the onset of puberty. Done with it. Done. Am I asking so much?
Now that I know you have a period/quotation mark pet peeve, I will be very careful on my comments on your blog. I suspect I have made the mistake zillions of times, because I don’t like the look of the period before the final quotation mark. But it appears that on this matter, I must conform, especially if I plan to submit to an American service.
As for teenage boys and their mouths, thank you for making me feel less alone! I am so glad to know others have such deteriorating dinner conversations as well. But considering the fact that my husband, like yours, joins in, it appears there will be no end in sight for me. Sigh….
I don’t remember being irked by any of your comments–just pleased that you were one of my two commenters! My pet peeves probably come from having to edit co-workers’ stuff that had errors like that all over the place… and it never got better. ; )
I prefer the British style but yeah, it seems that most American publishers etc will go with the punctuation inside the quotation mark.
I didn’t know about the difference styles of punctuation between the US and UK until I went to grad school in London and my lecturer made me change all the punctuation in my papers because he said it was “wrong.” (or, “wrong”.) And I can say with authority that spending an afternoon moving punctuation around is one of the most tedious things ever.
Now that does sound like a stimulating way to spend an afternoon. Perhaps if you had eaten one M&M for every punctuation mark you had to change, it would have been more satisfying. And more caloric.
Thanks so much for stopping by and confirming what I found. What’s particularly frightening is the fact that I wrote a novel without realizing this difference. Oh well, better late than never…
Dang, why didn’t I think of the M&M thing?? Great idea! I’ll have to find some other way of incorporating that policy–maybe for each piece of clothing I load into the washing machine, or something like that.
Now you’re talking!
I read a great article about the history of all this, can’t remember where, but I do remember about the US way vs everyone else. I prefer placing the period inside because it looks tidy. Now I’m feeling very guilty about my tacky blogging and comments. I’ve never understood grammar and punctuation (math I understand) and I wish I could always have an editor on hand. But can’t afford a blog editor. Bummer.
Maybe it would be more ethical to stick to posting photos? 
A blog editor–that would be nice! And yes, give me a concrete number over an abstract punctuation concept any day! And for the record, I’ve never noticed you to have tacky blogging or commenting techniques. On the other hand, based on the article you read about the history of this period nonsense, it appears you could use some more exciting reading material…
Whew! Thanks for never noticing
As for more exciting reading material … that’s why I chose to follow your blog. Thanks for always lightening things up! 
Love your rendition of Eats, Shoots & Leaves. HAHAHA. You’re soo funny. Love the I’m to Sexy song, boo yah! I’ve been bopping to Jessie J’s “Domino” lately. Woo, oo, oo, oooh! Yup. So catchy. And she totally beats Katie Perry as a live singer!
Thank you for cheering me on too today. It turned my frown upside down! 
Pink.
Oh, good! Because I hate to see a frown!
You know, I’ve never read that book “Eat, Shoots, and Leaves.” It appears that maybe I better…
And yes, “Domino” is a great song. You know what you are when you dance by yourself in a room devoid of people? A dancer. At least that’s how I like to look at it.
HAHAH.. Love it! Yeah, my grammar teacher totally recommended that book. HAHA. Now I’m like, more self-conscious about my periods (grammatically speaking).
It’s funny, I thought you were going to say LONER. Dancer sounds much more eloquent. Thank you!
HAHAH..
I have no clue but I personally think the whole question is just a ruse so you could write a post on periods, anuses, and Penises. LOL.
Oh, you’re on to me! Actually, that was about 75% of the reason. The other 25% was sheer confusion on the period thing.
Thanks for stopping by!
My rule for periods is they go where ever I stop. Or where ever the squiggly line tells me to. LOL
American style, using your first example:
My son’s favorite new made-up word is “paenus”. It is a combination of his two other favorite words “penis” and “anus”. Punctuation is correct, however there would be single quotes, not double.
Example 2: My sons call my Prius the “Vagina Car.” – the period would go outside the quotes, and the quotes would be single. Unless the sentence was a quote, in which it would look like this:
“My sons call my Prius the ‘Vagina Car’.” – when in dialogue quotes, the punctuation always falls within the quotes. If not in dialogue, the punctuation falls outside single quotes.
Hope that helps.
Isn’t it the opposite? In American style, the period comes before the final quotation mark (and I’m not talking dialogue–I know it always comes before the quotation mark then)?
How come the single quotes? I didn’t realize this. I thought single quotes were only used if quotation marks were needed inside quotation marks.
See? I am learning so much! Thanks for stopping by.
Technically, American’s are screwy, but the trend I’ve personally seen with US editors is to place the punctuation inside the quotes if it has to do with the quote, outside if it deals with the sentence as a whole. You will find double and single quotation marks around words or phrases that are set off from the main sentence, but the trend I’ve seen editor s use lately are single quotes when setting off words within a sentence. They tend to keep the double quotes to denote actual dialogue. Either one are acceptable. It just depends on the editor.
Thank you! That is very helpful. I appreciate you stopping back.
Shoot I was so excited I actually had the answer to this grammar question. I see above my head that others have come to the rescue, drats! Oh well. I only know this because I have been reading a copy of Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips in that bath tub. I dropped my paper back copy recently in a full tub, but it’s still readable. :+) I know you should never ever read books in the tub I usually don’t but it is taking me awhile to get through this book. Now I see why grammar didn’t take much the first go around in school. For me it is a bit dry and my mind shuts down when they talk about stuff like prepositions and double possessive ugg. I could go on but I won’t bore you or me. :+) I get confused with simple periods throwing them like chicken feed. I still don’t get coma’s I will keep reading Grammar girls book she also has a pod cast.
I have read many a book in the tub. As long as I don’t read my Ipad Kindle in there, I should be okay.
Yes, I’m getting some great advice from people. I really needed an answer, but I figured a post about punctuation would be dry. Luckily, my son’s vocabulary helped lighten the tone.
You are always so good at adding humor :+) I was suprised that your book coming out was a medical thriller. I thought for sure you would be writting a book with a humorous bent.
No, sadly my book about a pandemic has little humor. And I suppose it’s best I leave it that way. My publisher might not be happy otherwise.
And thanks for the warm fuzzy!
I teach writing & rhetoric in a university, and can confirm your interpretation of the rules above (periods or commas inside the quotation marks, other punctuation outside). The only exception would be if the phrase in quotations depends on the punctuation for emotion and proper emphasis (e.g., you are quoting someone else’s idea and the phrase had a question mark to begin with). Unfortunately, I don’t have anything like your wit to help me out with a more interesting reply!
Oh, but I so much appreciate your input! It’s reassuring to hear affirmation, that yes, in the US, we do put the period inside the quotation mark, even though it looks so bizarre to me. And it’s especially helpful to hear it from one who teaches writing!
Thanks so much for stopping by and responding. And for putting up with my adolescent humor (not hard to see where my son gets it, is it?)
Being British I stick to British style…should any American editor be interested in a book about life in France which does not revolve around Paris, fashion and croissants, or a book about life in Costa Rica which points out that its eco friendly reputation is so much fairy dust then I’d be willing to modify – but it’s a pretty fair bet that I’ll never have to do so.
As to names, my husband calls me Horace, after a large spider which inhabited one of the bedrooms of one of our holiday houses. His/her activities were carefully logged by a series of guests via the visitors book and we had e mails asking about his/her welfare from those who had shared his room. Even repeat bookings.
I am not sure whether husband thinks I am liable to devour him, or whether I am capable of inducing devotion in the many.
Hey, Horace, thanks for stopping by! A large, roving spider–that’s a bit creepy. Seems there’s a story in there somewhere.
I just read a review in USA Today this morning about a new book that’s come out–it’s about a woman’s experiences during her year of living in France, but I suspect it includes the usual fare as you’ve described above. So perhaps you’ll have to wait a little longer to write that atypical non-fiction book…
Ok – I’ve always thought the punctuation went inside the quotations marks but maybe that’s because I’ve always followed the “regardless of logic” reasoning
On to anatomy – my boys can’t resist a lively discussion about bodily functions – and do often…my youngest takes every opportunity to moon us and my oldest turns three shades of red when a Victoria’s Secret ad runs, all while asking if she really has wings. Boys will be boys. 
I am so glad to hear you admit that your boys are also obsessed with bodily function humor. I was beginning to worry about my parenting skills, although in my defense, they are perfectly well-mannered outside of the home.
As for the period and comma inside the quotation mark, the rest of you seem to be one step ahead of me. It still looks bizarre, but I guess I’ll have to adapt.
My boys do well outside the home, too, and that’s what counts to me. Their father has taught them a rule about “barn talk.” (notice the punctuation lol). Barn talk is language men sometimes use when not in the presence of ladies. If they say something out of line in front of mixed company, he will remind them quickly that it’s barn talk and they know to zip it…
“Barn talk”–I like that. Sounds better than “potty talk.” (And see? Now I can put the period in the right place, too, thanks to all of your guys’ wonderful help!)
Go with the Chicago Manual of Style. It’s one of the main publishing bibles. And American presses will go with American stye. So it’s — My sons call the Prius the “vagina car.”
If you go British, an agent would probably make you change it before she shopped it to presses. If you go indie, American readers are still used to American style…. Of course, you could end up with a lot of British readers…. So there’s a toss up.
Similarly with other punctuation marks, except, of course, for the exceptions. Your jiggly butt example would be as you said — Shouldn’t a father intervene when a son swats his mother’s fanny with a dishtowel, laughs, and calls her “jiggly butt”?
The CMS is an investment (2010 version running $40 new at Amazon), but it’ll answer nearly every question you have about writing and editing. I recommend it for every serious writer’s bookshelf.
Thank you, JM. That was very helpful. And just when I’d decided to go with the British way. Guess I’ll have to get used to the awkward looking format. And thanks for the book rec–I’m going to order it now. I have an old school book on English composition and grammar as recommended in Stephen King’s “On Writing,” but I think I will get the CMS, too. (Did you notice where I put the comma in the “On Writing”? See, you can teach an old gal new tricks.)
Thanks again for the advice. Very helpful. And I apologize profusely for making you write those sentences. I’m not sure if you are exposed to a teenage male on a regular basis, but if you are, you’ll understand.
And I also noticed you got to put the question mark in your preferred place with “On Writing”! [and see my exclamation point?]
No teenage boys to deal with, fortunately, but, of course, grown men often think the same way….
And I’m just imagining the searches that will bring some people to this post! LOL!
I haven’t looked in ages, but years ago, the CMS folks had a cool website where they would take reader questions and offer advice in a totally fun way. I think they called themselves (tongue-in-cheek) “grammar goddesses.” I should google them, and see if they’re still doing that….
I’m used to bizarre search engine terms by now.
Chicago is also my go-to source. Here’s what they say in table 6.1:
Regarding Double or Single quotation marks (see 6.9, 6.70, 6.74 for exceptions):
A period goes INSIDE
A comma goes INSIDE
A semicolon goes OUTSIDE
A colon goes OUTSIDE
A question mark or exclamation point goes INSIDE/OUTSIDE–see 6.10
An em dash goes INSIDE/OUTSIDE–see 6.84
Regarding Parentheses or brackets (see 6.53, 6.96, 6.99, 6.101 for exceptions):
A period goes INSIDE/OUTSIDE–see 6.13
A comma goes OUTSIDE
A semicolon goes OUTSIDE
A colon goes OUTSIDE
A question mark or exclamation point goes INSIDE/OUTSIDE–see 6.70, 6.74
An em dash goes OUTSIDE
Don’t know about you, but all that blurs my eyes….the table in the book is easier to read.
I always have to look these up, because it’s certainly easy to remember incorrectly, and our eye is unreliable because we see it so many ways.
Actually, that was very helpful to see it written out like that. Thank you! And I’ve already ordered that book. I think I’ll be happy with it based on what you just wrote out. At least it looks like the questions can be easily answered even if the answers don’t stay in our heads. Thanks again. I appreciate you taking the time to share that!
I’ve always struggled with this one as well. I’ve always heard that it was like you said, it should go inside the quotation but I find that awkward. Whatever word is inside those quotations isn’t the entire sentence so to me, it makes more logical sense to put the punctuation outside in order to wrap up the entire thought.
I pretty much just go with whatever my fingers do, they usually think faster than my brain so I let them make the judgement call on periods. As long as grammar check lets it get by (because we all know that computer grammar and spell checks are fool proof!) I just leave it as is.
I agree–the period inside the quotes (unless it’s a full sentence, of course) looks bizarre. I doubt I’ll do it that way. And to be honest, I don’t see it done that way much, but at least I’ve seen it enough to prompt this post!
BTW, still waiting on my cute little fishy. But I’ve got a space on my desk carved out for him when he arrives.
Hmmm….Well I figured you would have gotten him by yesterday, it was sent 2-3 day service and I sent him on Friday but just to be safe assumed he didn’t actually go out til Saturday…I think they sent me an email when he shipped, I’ll have to check it out and see if there is tracking information on that or not!
Oh, no worries. In fact, it may have arrived, but I just realized my husband has worked in a different location the past 2 days. Thanks!
I like that we defy logic with our periods.
Yes, we do like to do our own thing, don’t we?…
I put my periods where I damn well please and those who don’t like it can stick it up their “anus”. (Notice location of period there.)
I like that attitude. So would my son, who’s now added the term “sphincter” to his vocabulary.