Who Needs A G-Spot When You Can Have A Sweet Spot?
Recently, a gynecologist reportedly located the G-spot on an 83-year-old female cadaver. There are so many things wrong with that statement, I don’t know where to begin. So instead, I’ll surmise what my practical Ukrainian grandmother would have said upon hearing the news: “Who needs a G-spot when a spot of Jack Daniels will do?”
Enough of this and she can find her own d**n G-spot.
Now let’s leave the topic of G-spots—I am uncomfortable enough as it is—and ponder the following quote:
“Your sweet spot is the place where you’re optimally stimulated.”
No, I’m not back where I started; this sweet spot is not buried in an octogenarian corpse. Rather, it symbolizes the discovery of the environment most suitable to your personality. The quote is from Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain, and by golly, if you think you’ve seen the end of my posts referencing this book, you are as delusional as those people who still use the term “by golly.”
To understand the sweet spot, let me offer an example.
Once upon a time I attended a healthcare conference. There I was, nestled in the back of a carpeted and gray-paneled room, content in my solitude though preferring invisibility, when the speaker, dressed as a cheery extrovert, produced the most dreadful of words. “Good morning, friends and colleagues! Let’s start by going around the room and getting to know each other. Tell me about yourselves! That way we can foster more meaningful dialogue.”
Say what?
Oops, I crapped my pants…
Given my posterior location, there was ample time before my trip to the guillotine. Although I learned nothing of the other attendees, so lost in my thoughts was I, by the time Mr. Cheery reached me, I had a lovely monologue prepared, and—if I may toot my own horn—how witty and confident I appeared!
Obviously, my sweet spot is a place of low-stimulation. Give me time to prepare, time to process my thoughts in a low-pressure environment, and I will do just fine. Maybe even better than fine. But toss me into a hyped-up, on-the-spot, chaotic and pulsating rave? Well, good morning Miss Idiot! May I get you a brain?
Which brings me to my second example. For every yin there’s a yang, right?
At yet another conference in yet another small room at yet another back table, I started out safe in my low-stimulation environment. That is, until Mr. Aggressive, I Am Alpha Male Hear Me Roar, decided to mix things up a bit. You know, just so he could thrive in his own sweet spot. Which, sadly for me, was a high-stimulation environment.
Before I knew what hit me, Mr. Alpha Male pounced in front of my table, thrust a lion’s paw in my face, and demanded, “Quick! Name five things you hope to improve in your professional life by attending this meeting today!”
A bla bla bla bla th-th-th-that’s all folks!
It’s a shame you weren’t there to witness my Katherine Hepburn vocal tremor, verbal vomit, and tomato face. If you were, you could have nodded in understanding like the other attendees, all the while thinking, “Poor little imbecile. She must be in the wrong room.”
I admit it. I’m a thinker. Give me preparation time, and I’ll succeed. I might even impress you. But put me on the spot in a high-stimulation environment, and you’ll have front-row seats to spontaneous combustion. Which is why Mr. Alpha Male would be a great soldier or fighter pilot or trauma surgeon. I, on the other hand, would shoot off my foot, crash into a looming mountain, or pluck out a bladder instead of a hemorrhaging spleen. Oopsy daisy.
But isn’t the world a better place with both types of personalities?
So what’s your sweet spot? Do you perform best in a high-stimulation, on-the-spot environment or a low, good-god-give-me-time-to-prepare one? Do you pee your pants when called upon or strut your fancy feathers? Are you further convinced I’m a nincompoop? Or do you no longer use the word nincompoop?
All images from Microsoft Clip Art
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- Introverts Anonymous (truthletsandthoughtbits.wordpress.com)
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115 Responses to “Who Needs A G-Spot When You Can Have A Sweet Spot?”
I’m glad I didn’t have to ask again for the title of Susan’s Book. I wrote it down again :+) I’m looking forward to reading it one day. I’m sure it will be a big help. One thing I’ve started doing after taking “The Test” is after spending time with people it helps to have time alone to regroup. The more people I hang out with and the longer the time the more recoup I seem to need.
Oh, yes, I’m very familiar with the need to regroup. You’d like the book, I’m sure. Very eye-opening. Some of the research bits drag on a little, but those can be skimmed if necessary.
I’m setting the title aside so that it can go on my must read book list. I’m sure there is a lot I can learn on the topic. :+)
I imagine it will be out in paperback soon. I think you’ll want your own copy, if you plan to mark it up like I did.
[...] you recall my own unflattering tongue-tie when put on the spot, chronicled in an earlier post. So imagine my glee in watching the vice president of the United States gaffe his way through life [...]
“Oopsy daisy” that sure made me smile. :+) I bet I will be saying that all day long. I recently had a melt down when put on the spot with a question. It’s a pitty because I could have had a really well thought out answer if the person would have given me a moment or maybe he could have sent me the question prior to the situation that would have helped. Instead I just blurted out a bunch of upset sentences that didn’t really make alot of sense. Oh well such is life. Necrophiliac… I remember when I first heard that word at a mere age of barely 20. I heard the word on the nightly news and asked my father what it ment. That was a memorable moment. :+)
I imagine it was. Just the word every father wants to define for his daughter…
Sounds like you respond similarly to me when put on the spot. Thank goodness for blogs.
By the way, I constantly tease my husband for saying “oopsy daisy.” Not a very masculine expression at all. So I threw that in for him.
I may just have to add that one “oopsy daisy” I feel like a ittle kid it makes me laugh.
[...] last week, while composing a post on my yellow-bellied nature, her words came back to haunt [...]
Always coming late to the party because I am having trouble keeping up with all my blog reading…
I think I would classify myself as an ex-introvert (as in, former introvert). As a child, I detested talking on the phone, even with people I knew–it made me uncomfortable. I joined the drama club in jr. high and loved it because I could be “out there” without really being myself. I liked being a journalist because *I* got to ask the questions. Later, as a professional marketer, I found it difficult to do all the schmoozing and boozing and blabbity-blah-blah.
But now I feel like much more of an extrovert, and your post has made me look into why. I think it happened with my mid-life career change (well, one of them; I feel as if I have several simultaneous careers) to become a birth doula (a woman who supports couples during labor and birth). If you’d told me 20 years ago thatI’d be in a “helping” profession, let alone one that offers virtually no certainty from moment-to-moment about what you should do or say or how you should behave, I would have said you were insane. But the uncertainty and thinking-on-my-feet aspect is one I’ve come to love, and one that has helped me in so many other areas of my life. It requires an almost Zen-like ability to just be present, and when you carry that with you it makes all kinds of situations a whole lot easier.
Whew! Sorry for the long-winded post, you really made me think.
I’ve never enjoyed talking on the phone. In fact, I’ll go out of my way to avoid it (except in a professional setting where one must). I always assumed I was just weird (and yes, that likely remains the prevailing theory), but it wasn’t until Susan Cain’s book that I discovered many introverts share this same trait.
Like you, I do find it easier to be outgoing on a professional basis. Not only was it more one-one-one in my healthcare positions, but I was comfortable in my knowledge, which made for easier on-the-spot interaction. But put me on the spot in a room full of people? Babble city.
Needless to say, I’m nervous about marketing requirements when my book is out. Book signings, talks, etc. Baby steps, I guess.
Thanks for dropping by and for your thoughtful comment.
I think I’m a combination, depending on the exact situation. It all comes down to confidence – if I know what I need to say, I don’t mind getting up in front of everyone and saying it (ex: presenting at a conference). That little adrenaline kick you get can be very inspiring. On the other hand, I’m the type of person who worries about lunch hour at that same conference – what if the people at my table find me dull and silly?!
The best piece of advice? Fake it ’til you make it! (works in a lot of areas of life…)
Sound advice for sure. Like you, if I’ve had time to prepare, I don’t have much problem presenting. I don’t enjoy it, but I’m used to it–I’ve had to do it a fair amount. But it’s those spur-of-the-moment times; I’m not so good at faking those.
I’m worried about people fiddling with old dead women now.
I use to be an insurance underwriter. One of those terrible people that refuses you insurance based on stereotypes and profiling. Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it in my next life. I’ll be refused insurance for every and a day. We use to attend conferences such as the ones you’ve talked about quite often. The funny thing about underwriters and legal folk is that we are naturally introverted. We work by ourselves really well. The person giving the conference is of course, extroverted. Oil and water. They would always start with this awkward moment, as you mentioned, so one day, the man next to me stood up first and blurted out, red faced and shaking, “Can we cut the pc crap and get on with what you want to tell us. No one wants to know about me and I sure don’t want to know about them.” He received a round of applause.
Sit me at the back of the room, give me time to process, leave me alone with the material ( preferably not an old dead woman’s bits) and I’ll do really well. My sweetspot is tucked away somewhere in a dim room with low music and a lap top and a skinny latte. Heaven.
Oh, I’d love to meet that man and thank him on behalf of all introverts. That is just what we would all love to say, isn’t it?
Enjoy your sweet spot. It took me a few decades to find mine, but now that I have, life is much more peaceful.
Why does it take us so long to find? There really should be a manual handed out at 21st birthday parties.
Well, at least introverts are getting their due now.
I prefer to be prepared but my job demands I have to react to stuff and I am often called in to talk about x, y or z with little or no notice so I suppose I have learnt to perform on the edge as it were of what I know. It’s hell at the time but a great buzz after it
My job required some quick thinking, too, but like you, after having done it enough times combined with my knowledge, I was able to adjust (though I’m not sure I ever felt the buzz–more the, “Did I mess up?” after effect). It’s in the non-job-related activities where being put on the spot befuddles me.
Thanks for stopping by!
I definitely am a thinker…and a slow one at that. I think of REALLY good comebacks after the moment when I can use them has long passed. I’ll wake up at night and say to the darkness, “Oh, I should have said this to her…blah, blah, blah.” And the darkness accepts my lameness and doesn’t make me feel worse, and I go back to sleep comforted that my brain still works…even if it’s not fast.
I’m with you–it’s often the middle of the night that my intelligent response surfaces. Sometimes, though, it comes even quicker–maybe five minutes down the road. But by then it’s too late to disrupt the conversation by saying, “Oh, wait, I know what to say now.”
So true! I guess it’s the pressure thing you posted about. Under pressure, I freeze up; if I’m relaxed (like when I’m sleeping or trying to get to sleep), my mind is abuzz with awesomeness (just kidding).
I’m with you. I’m a thinker. It’s probably why I prefer email. I can think about my response, and make it intelligent rather than babbling over lips that are not working as fast as my mind.
I HATE it when they do the “around the room” thing. It makes me want to run and hide… unless I am prepared. It’s those on the spot questions that will kill you!
It is interesting how many writers are introverts and how many of them share these same characteristics. I admire people who can talk eloquently on the spot (though I’m sure it’s not only extroverts that possess this skill). I may be able to give an eloquent speech, but I need time to prepare it. I probably wouldn’t do well in politics for that very reason. Unless I had it planned ahead of time, I’d babble.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I appreciate it.
Love this post. ‘Nuff said.
anne
Thank you! I appreciate that. Thanks for stopping by.
God I hate situations like this! And I hate (okay, not hate but strongly dislike) Mr. [or Ms] Alpha Male types.
)
(And I’m glad you keep mentioning that book because I keep forgetting that I must read it one day. I think
It’s a good one with all sorts of eye-opening concepts, despite a few drier research passages. I’m taking my time getting through it given I have other things I’m reading. But that way I can stretch it out.
The Alpha Male Douchebags rule the world, but you know what? We introverts are the ones who actually ensure that the world continues to FUNCTION. Not to mention that we are BY FAR the most interesting people. Although I suppose that I’m not entirely objective on that point.
Yes, I think you may be a tad biased.
In defense of extroverts, however, I think Mr. Alpha Male was just, as you say, a douchebag. I know many a lovely extrovert, and in fact, often envy their outgoing ways. However, he was not one of them…
Thanks so much for stopping by. I appreciate it!
I work in a profession filled with I’m Alpha Hear Me Roar Guys, in fact that type of personality is highly rewarded. I’m introvert by nature, so it makes for an interesting work environnment. Watching Alpha male try to out alpha other said Alpha male is quite entertaining
.
Watching alpha males go at it is entertaining, but it can also be exhausting, can’t it? Especially for us introverts who would welcome a bit of calm and quiet. But I do believe we need both types of personalities to balance out life and keep the wheels turning.
Thanks so much for stopping by. I appreciate it!
At the Body Farm, they poke you every where. Not only do they find G-spots, they find A, B, C, D, E, and F spots. I can hardly wait. As to the rest of your post, I don’t remember what you said. No, of course I do. Let’s be honest, the “go around the room and say something about yourself” is as dumb as laughing at a gorilla throwing his poo. (Wait, that is pretty funny.) Well, it’s dumb and the instructors that use that technique are dicks or dickettes as it were. Nobody listens. They’re all trying to think of something clever to say or at least not to embarrass themselves. I just make shit up. I really do. My favorite all time was when I said, “I was born in Singapore which is why I’m a poor singer.” Nobody cracked a smile, but it makes me smile to this day! HF
I would have cracked a smile for that. And probably thrown you a look of commiseration as in: “Please get me out of this hell.”
It seems no one likes these introduction sessions, and yet so many speakers do them. Maybe THEY should be the ones getting their G-spots poked posthumously!
Why do they keep doing these introductions? I’m befuddled and bedazzled (but that’s a different problem). Okay, let’s start another movement. Everyone make up a great fake story and be prepared to tell it every time you’re in one of these situations. Usually, the truth will set you free, but this time, a great lie will! All joy. HF
I’m already on it…
great writing! it’s as funny as it is disturbing, and believe me, it’s quite disturbing. i can’t seem to get the mental image out of my mind. bleh!!!!
I assume the mental image to which you’re referring is the G-spot in a corpse, not my aggressive conference friend, though to me, they were both equally disturbing…
Thanks for the warm fuzzy and for stopping by!
this post is ALSO so good. you are producing nothing, but solid gold lately. seriously. now, as far as sweet spots…i’m gonna say it, mr aggressive sounds like an a-hole. as i get older, i honestly feel that the people who take the time to think are the ones i want in the lifeboat with me. even i, who was more of a hyper child, i am learning to STOP and THINK. these tools are invaluable. they really are. i think you could teach a lot of people about sweet spots. and no, i’m not saying you should hold some kind of orgasm conference. lol. xoxox, sm
Well, that’s good, because me holding an orgasm conference is as likely as me growing a penis. Just not gonna happen. And you’re right, Mr. Agressive was kind of a douche bag, but he was a successful douche bag, so I guess there’s that.
Thanks for your kind words. Appreciate it.
Here’s my elusive, conducive, and utterly fulfilling ‘sweet spot’. A warm room, dimly lit: an armchair, soft and deep; a bottle of decent malt and a companion whose mind works upon a level subtly different to my own. A discussion without rules, beginning from almost anywhere, and an evolution of thought that somehow – probably without warning – hits on a thread which can develop and grow. It doesn’t last long, this ‘sweet spot’ before the whisky takes over or, worse, sobriety sets in; but while it is in being an idea grows on an idea, and expands, and alters, and finds entity: a book is born.
Rare, too rare. Count off the number of times in a lifetime when it happens, just prize it when it does. Incidentally, I’ve been to that kind of meeting. Once.
Well, here’s hoping you can connect to your sweet spot, trapped somewhere between sobriety and wobbly drunkenness, and spin the tale of the century. I await your masterpiece!
I am an only child with an overactive imagination. Put me in a low lit room and I am stimulated. Sit me at my desk and I create world for hours each day. LOL. So I’d be in the back of the room with you. Preferably near a wall or exit aisle. And when he called on me, I’d deer-in-the-headlights and dart out of the room.
Hate the guy, have met him myself.
Prep and notes for me every time – gibbering idiot otherwise, unless angered and then look out! (I’m slow to anger, really don’t do it, but it has been known …)
I usually think of the right thing to say a couple of hours after the conversation is over. Which is probably why I avoid social situations as much as possible.
As far as Mr. Alpha Male — I’ve met quite a few alpha male-types over the years since my husband’s in the Army. There’s a difference between being able to react quickly to a crisis situation and just being obnoxious, and I think your Mr. Alpha Male was the latter.
I have to agree with you on that last statement. I encountered the guy throughout the conference, and I can’t say my opinion of him improved. And isn’t it frustrating to have the perfect response a couple hours too late?! I’ll be at home in bed thinking, “oh, man, I should have said this!”
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting!
First and foremost, I remembered to uncheck the box….I humbly beg your permission to write about the octagenarian G-spot angle. Somehow, what with all the scary things North Korea is saying and the whole global warming business, I missed out on the really important stuff. Thanks for gleaning the web for tidbits like that one. I don’t have a sweet spot per se, but I do have a few bitter spots I try to avoid, like being called on in conferences. This weekend, I get to teach at one – that may be even worse – I’ll keep you updated.
I would look very forward to a blog post by you on the octogenarian G-spot! I’m already tingling in anticipation.
And good luck with your conference. I’ve given enough presentations in my life to be fairly comfortable with them, but again, that’s because I get ample preparation time. I’m always nervous for the Q&A at the end, but I usually know my subject material well enough that it’s never been a problem. It’s just those pesky, put-on-the-spot moments where I’m Daffy Duck.
Thanks for stopping by!
Took the liberty of starting the G-spot blog…figured you’d stay sweet and give me permission. I’m trying to come up with 20 wise ass comments about it. I’m up to 16 already. Think Letterman is hiring for Top Ten writers?
If the topic is G-spots he’d be crazy not to!
up to 18 now…a couple of them are pretty funny
and a couple are just dumb
Sometimes funny and dumb are synonymous.
sometimes?!!?
You’re right. Pretty much all the time.
Now i see why you find my writing so entrancing!
It depends on the subject matter. I would have failed dismally with Mr. Alpha Male because when I attend a meeting, I like to get a feel for what’s going on before I can contribute something. Sometimes, I have a hard time putting things into words. Thank God for time to edit when I blog.
On the other hand, if I know a subject matter well, I can wing it with the best of them. If it’s music (sight-reading notes, the ability to hear harmony when none is written, basic musical knowledge) or discussing the Bible, I can fare well. I can tell you almost anything you want to know about students in an elementary school classroom situation, students with learning disabilities, tips to get students to read or learn math. It’s my forte.
But if I’m not sure WHY I’m in a certain position or I’ve just come to see what something is about (like conventions), my tongue swells too sizes too large. I have huge brain farts that keep me from rational thought. Sandy
Yes, I’m definitely more comfortable on the spot when it’s a topic I know well, but even then my words can get jumbled. As you mention, thank goodness for the ability to edit in the blogging world. If only I could edit what comes out of my mouth in real time.
I love the word nimcompoop (hey it’s got poop in it, what can I say?). And if you think I’m making this up, just look back at my AtoZ list, it’s at the letter N!
http://perfectingmotherhood.wordpress.com/2012/04/02/catching-up-on-a-few-blog-awards/
As for your lack of comfort in certain situations, I’m the same. I don’t mind being around large crowds, as long as I stay anonymous. But after years of working trade show booths as a marketer, I can still be comfortable in front of a bunch of strangers and put on my “show hat”.
When it comes to having a quick response, I can’t complain either. I’m actually pretty good at making jokes with what people just said, and it’s a great exercise. You could start with that, just to train your brain to work without a net. It’s just a question of practice, believe me. And as my kids have heard from me hundreds of times already, practice makes perfect.
It does get easier with time but never really comfortable for me. I have given many presentations, and I’m fine with that because of all of the practice I’ve had. But in these situations, I’ve had time to prepare. It’s the on-the-spot stuff that’s difficult.
That is so funny that “nincompoop” was your N word. And as you say, given its unintentional scatological reference, it is a great word indeed!
I bet you can’t wait till you have to go out there and promote your book! You’ll have strangers ask you the weirdest questions and will have seconds to think about an answer. Imagine how many people will want to know where you get the inspiration to blog about g-spots and digestive issues. In case you can’t think of something back to say, just blurb out, I’m sorry, I’m having a nimcompoop moment!
I haven’t let my mind go there yet. I’m still getting up the nerve to approach my local bookstore for a book signing. Baby steps. And I will definitely keep the nincompoop excuse handy. It’s a good one!
This is hilarious and brilliant! I totally relate. I can do quite well public speaking if I know what I’m talking about, but get me on the spot and I become a blabbering idiot.
It is so nice to learn there are others like me. It helps me feel less weird (although my sons would tell you it does nothing to lessen the fact that I am weird…). Too bad it took me so many years to discover!
Thanks for dropping by and for writing a great blog post I could link to.
I just think it’s great that you have so much self awareness and understand your comfort zone.
Honestly, it took me a few decades to get here. It’s only been the last few years where I’ve started to recognize my limitations and not feel guilty about them or feel that something is wrong with me. And Susan Cain’s book has been a huge eye-opener. Plus, it’s been refreshing to learn through my blog how many people out there are like me. Better late than never, I suppose.
I’m with you, Carrie. Totally. I’m so much aware of not being good at thinking on my feet that I’ve spent huge amounts of my life mentally rehearsing what I would say if… The problem is, people rarely ask me the right questions. Are there any extrovert fiction writers?
I hear you on the rehearsing. Sometimes I do so much of it, I completely miss what the speaker is saying, and by the time I’ve formulated a response, he or she is on to another topic!
That would be an interesting study: what percentage of writers are introverts and what percentage are extroverts? I suspect the scale is shifted in favor of the former.
Thanks for stopping by!
I’m somewhat of a hybrid, but given the choice I’ll always pick the path with time to ponder. Loving your hooky titles BTW. =)
I figured talk of the G-spot might bring people in. Of course, there’s the inevitable let-down once they actually read the post.
And being a hybrid is good. Much more efficient…
I am pretty good at the quick, on the spot situations, but, if I had a choice, I do like to prepare a little (ten minutes works wonders). I do hate the “Tell me about yourself in sixty seconds or less” meetings. Sometimes I dream of telling them that I would rather be anywhere but sitting there answering such a silly request!
I suppose as a teacher, you need to be able to fly by the seat of your pants, lest those kids try to pull one over on you.
And yes, the “meet and greets” need to go. I suppose we could always lie and make up some absurd introduction, but I’d be too much of a woos to do that. Plus, on the spot, I doubt I’d be very creative…
Thanks for dropping by!
Time to prepare! I need time to prepare! Give me that, and I can sound witty, charming, and knowledgable. But put me on the spot in a high pressure situation, and . . . well . . . not so much.
That’s one of the beauties of blogging. I don’t have to come up with something just before I post. I can write it out beforehand. Of course, that’s no guarantee the post will be good!
You sound very much like me. In fact, I suspect many of us academic types are like that. Blogging’s nice because even with comments, you can take time to think of a response and then proof it. If only it were that easy in real life!
I have managed to convince myself that I love to be the center of attention…everyone’s eyes on me. Half of the time, I am up to the challenge but the other half, I stand there frozen like a deer caught in headlights.
So you straddle the fence on this one, huh? Well, hopefully you can predict the future–that way you could know when you’d be a prima donna and when you’d be a frozen deer!
I never know in advance. I’m just as surprised as everyone else is. And it’s not nearly as fun as it sounds.
I love the “blizzard” story! What a creative child you must have.
And I love that someone is actually reading the comments! As for my creative child, well, yes, I guess that is one way to look at it…
I hate to be singled out, but when I am, I try not to have my voice rise at the end of my sentences. “I am Mary Abowitz? And I come from Small Town Wherever?” instead I lower my voice and try to sound smart (or not).
Ahh, yes, the wonderful Midwest trait of ending every sentence with a question. I have been there. I hope over the year’s I have stopped this habit, though it is alive and well in my husband.
Even prepared, the intoduce yourself scenarios make my hands sweat and I turn bright red. It does take all kinds of personalities, and I have finally started reading this book!
I think you’ll like it. Some parts are a bit dry and discuss some dull research, but overall it’s been an eye opener for me.
This is a great question, and one, like many, that we should ask ourselves occasionally as sort of a life tune-up. Having said that, I wrestle with this because it’s difficult for me to find a definitive “sweet spot.” For example, I often enjoy group situations like the ones you mentioned–it’s sometimes fun to be “put on the spot” and have to perform in front of a group of people. Other times it’s at best a nuisance, and at worst a source of fear.
One thing I’ve figured out is that I work well against a deadline and with some pressure. My current project has an externally imposed deadline (June 1st–it’s coming up!), but impose them myself in any case.
You appear to be a well-balanced individual–one who can thrive in all types of settings. Why, you’re just like a daisy! I, on the other hand, am a cactus. I survive best in a dry, leave-me-alone environment.
But I agree, deadlines can be useful, although I’m so type A, I rarely procrastinate. Wow, I’m not exactly making myself sound too good am I? Better quit while I’m miles behind…
A daisy? My dad always said I was a pansy.
I am a person naturally inclined toward inertia and sloth. If I didn’t find ways to short-circuit these qualities my life would be very different. I am very ADD (which I’m often reluctant to admit, because it’s so often introduced into conversation as an excuse for failure or bad behavior), which, believe it or not, is a tremendous gift, but forces me to establish patterns or tricks to accomplish what I need to. A decade ago, I thought I’d never be able to work independently, and it has been very gratifying to be wrong.
Someone who has to live with ADD is definitely no pansy. You have my respect. Coping with life’s expectations can be hard enough; having to do it with uncooperative neurochemicals is like towing heavy chains all day.
And now we have become too serious. We don’t want to ruin our reputations, so allow me to tell you something I’m sure you’ll appreciate. Yesterday, just before I took the first spoonful of my mouth-watering Snicker’s blizzard, my son told me he had an idea for a new flavor: “pubic hair blizzard.” Isn’t that just lovely? When he added that he would like his “extra curly” I about lost it. Needless to say, I could no longer enjoy that blizzard…
You’re very kind. You’re son is clearly a genius. He’s got the potential for greatness, perhaps even president of the USA or Blofeld-like archvillain. The latter is not only cooler, but pays much better.
I also realized that my previous responses were, despite the ostensible premise of this post, uncharacteristically free of sexual innuendo. The reason for this is that I suffer from an anxiety that I won’t be able to achieve the innuendo–either mistiming it or being frustratingly unable to speak up at all.
I’m sure there’s a pill for that…
What feedback told the gynaecologist that was the spot? – I could have a regular “bonus” monday haiku just out of your posts.
Anyway moving swiftly on, I prefer a little preparation time. And that phrase “let’s tell everyone a little about yourselves” always fills me with dread. Usually if I have to attend a meeting or presentation of some kind, I rarely care about what the other people do or are. Even less want them to know about me.
Presentations are all about preparation anyway. If you have to present but you know what you are talking about, then it is a whole lot easier. When you are put on the spot about something you do not know e.g. 5 things you want to improve, then you get stuck. I imagine if you knew of the question in advance, had thought of 5 things, you could have reeled them off without so much as a second thought.
Absolutely. With a little preparation time, I would have knocked the socks of that fellow’s paws! Instead, I looked like a bumbling idiot. But that’s okay. I took the hit for everyone else, who then had time to prepare their own response.
I wonder if there’s anyone who actually likes the opening “meet and greet.” I think the entire concept should be canned.
And I agree, identifying the G-spot posthumously would seem a very difficult victory to confirm. And disgusting. And probably illegal…
Ah, Jack. I have a long standing relationship with him.
I think I’d like your Grandmother.
I HAVE A G-SPOT????? Why didn’t anyone tell me that? I HAVE to start reading the news, by golly!
Over the years I have virtually attempted to run from a meeting room to avoid the “let’s go around the room, bulls**t!” I say that’s a weak speaker who wants to cut 10 minutes off his speech!
My sweet spot is right here…in my chair, on my laptop, with time to edit and think and be only an image of who you think I am.
By the way, I’m 5’9″, 124 pounds, have long flowing blonde hair, and am as poised as Grace Kelly, but as earthy and sexy as Sophia Loren.
I am not surprised to hear you are 5’9″, 124 pounds, and have long flowing blond hair. After all, you used the term “by golly,” which as I pointed out above, suggests you are delusional.
And you know I am kidding, because to me, you are far more beautiful than a Uma look-a-like. And you know I share your sweet spot. How did introverts survive before the Internet?
I’ve never understood the “meet and greet” before a meeting, unless it is a very small group poised to work on something together. It always makes me uncomfortable, and perhaps you are right: this is the speaker’s ploy to cut ten minutes from his or her own speech…
Yes. Always revert to paranoia when in doubt.
Having a short fuse always helps in situations like the Mr. Aggressive…fury raises the response
‘That’s what I’m paying you to tell me…so get on with it and stop posturing.’
People who provide paid services don’t treat the client like s**t.
Without the short fuse i’d be doing what you reckon you did…
It’s funny–because I did get defensive, and even a little angry. In his defense, the conference had to do with non-clinical career choices in medicine, and his particular topic was something along the lines of how to go after what you want, but his abruptness so surpised and disarmed me that I was reduced to incoherence.
As always, thanks for dropping by. I don’t pay much attention to French politics, but I see that Sarkozy got the boot. Though I’m not sure as an expat, if you are all that interested in their politics anymore, anyway.
Politics is life blood…wherever. U.K. , France, Costa Rica.
I still have a house in France so what happens to tax, environmental regulations, and what not still involves me…
I’ve never been keen on Sarko – but if he had had the guts to push through his reforms to revitalise French industry and empower people starting up I don’t think France would be in the mess it is now…
Anyone want to buy a house in the Loire Valley….?
I didn’t realize you still had a home there, so yes, I guess it does impact you. On the other hand, I am envious, because I bet it is beyond beautiful!
Can I get back to you on that…maybe tomorrow?
Take all the time you need. I completely understand.
Love it..
I’m good in both situations provided the response they want is an opinion or suggestion. If its factoids or an answer (from a textbook) to a question, I’m not good at it, also disinterested and even get a little angry because I’m beyond the point where I deserve to be “tested” by my peers. If you want a creative dialogue, hit me up any time. We need personality split seminars where each “type” works with their best possible tribe.
In what ways ARE you spontaneous, Carrie? Is there any situations in which you’re okay with it?
If it’s a topic I’m very familiar with, I would be okay with being put on the spot, BUT only if I wasn’t in front of a lot of people. Put me in front of a crowd and ask me something on the spot, and out comes Daffy Duck.
Obviously, I’m exaggerating a bit, because over the years, I’ve learned to deal with this and have improved. I’ve had to give many presentations, and I’m pretty good with that now–but again, that’s prepared stuff; not off the cuff stuff. I don’t think I’ll ever be good at that.
Now, in terms of spontaneity, I’m going to be spontaneous and go grab some M&Ms…
Like you, I’m definitely better at giving an opinion than factoids when put on the spot, but even then my words can get jumbled. I couldn’t make it on Jeopardy for that reason, I’m sure.
I prefer prep time but I’ve had to wing it in the past – I probably sounded just like the bumbling idiot I felt I was! No question, though – you’re definitely in your sweet spot with this blog – keep up the fabulous posts!
Thanks, Sheila. I imagine a lot of writers prefer prep time, just by the nature of their personalities. Luckily though, as with everything, these situations gets easier with time.
I am a thinker. Lowww stimulation. ( that was not a typo) I have mini heart attacks when put on the spot.. You are not alone. Also I don’t think you are a nincompoop. My mom passed that word on to me. Great post.
But isn’t it frustrating? Of course, once the spotlight is no longer on me, I can think of brilliant and witty things to say. Thanks for letting me know I am not alone. This blog has been a wonderful way to learn there are many others out there like me. There probably were in that conference room, too, and they were all probably thrilled Mr. Alpha Male didn’t call on them first!
Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate it! And yes, nincompoop is a great word, isn’t it? Given its ending, it fits right in with my love of scatological humor.
Something to consider: if the introverts are all busily preparing (and not listening), and the extroverts are blah-blah-blahing without really caring if what they’re saying is awesome or less than awesome, it’s clear none of it is worth a hill of beans (saying courtesy of the 1940s). Those types of meetings/workshops are one of the things I don’t miss about full-time work!
That’s such a good point. And I always figure that if I’m not paying attention so that I can prepare something in my head, then surely others are doing the same thing, and no one is listening to the introductions. So as you imply, quite the time suck.
I make fun, but I never want to diss the extroverts–honestly, life would be VERY dull without them. Susan Cain even mentions this in a part of her book where she discusses going to a conference intended for introverts. She said it quickly became apparent they needed more social individuals there to get things rolling!
As for the “hill of beans” word choice. I’m diggin’ it…
You may not know it from my writing, but I’m quite the introvert. It takes me usually a minimum of 6 months to warm up to a new coworker during which I usually appear cold and indifferent as if they have the worst case of BO.
The irony is that I actually thrive in situations where I’m the center of attention like being a speaker at a conference or doing stand up (back in the day).
I hear you on the “let’s all introduce ourselves” routine. I hate those too. But usually I try to find something overly snarky to say like “I once went to work and forgot my pants” to break the ice.
People are often surprised to learn many entertainers, including stand-up comedians, are introverts. I bet that after those times where you’re the center of attention though, you need some major unwinding time when you’re done.
Introverts’ inability to warm up to others quickly often makes us appear aloof and arrogant, when in fact, often the reverse is true. I’ve really tried to work on this over the years. Even though I feel like a poseur, I try to make eye contact and small talk to help dissuade this image. Not sure how successful I am.
Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your insights. I appreciate it.
Good god, give me time to prepare. We are very alike in this way! I like to prepare a little clever “thing” and think through my words.
Also, that g-spot thing….remind me not to donate my body to science.
Really. I’m sure Grandma’s family was thrilled to have Nana be the poster child for G-spots.
I really admire people who can fly by the seat of their pants–where would we be without them? But like you, I need the time to produce the shine…
Thanks for dropping by and being the first to comment. I should have some sort of award for that.
