I have come to a sobering conclusion. After the apocalypse, only two things will remain. Cockroaches and blogger awards.
I hope the preceding statement does not make me appear ungrateful. Quite the opposite. I am honored and humbled that the very talented writer and poet Polly has nominated me for The Genuine Blogger Award and the Reader Appreciation Award. Thank you, Polly. Despite my feistiness, the gesture is much appreciated. That you and I breathe the same air is remarkable.
In tracking down the rules for these awards, relief rained upon me. You see, The Genuine Blogger Award has no rules. It is merely a way to let recipients know their work is appreciated. That is so sweet, syrup drips from my follicles.
As for the Reader Appreciation Award, I must share a bit of what I’ve been up to and pass the award onto some deserving bloggers.
Oh, dear. I am dull. Hear the air yawn around me.
Rather than bore you with my daily comings and goings, allow me to share what three strangers have been up to. That’s right; I don’t know these people. Does that matter?
- For example, the balding man idling at the red light in front of me two days ago makes candles. How do I know? Because he plucked wax from his ear as if paraffin would soon be a scarcity. Never have I seen such determination. But where he stored his treasure is anyone’s guess. I’m just glad the light changed before he needed a sticky adhesive.
- At a recent conference, seated two rows ahead of me, I discovered a starving woman in my normally well-fed community. At least, I assumed she was famished, because never before have I witnessed a diminutive woman eat a bread roll bigger than her head.
- Oh, and I must tell you about Cheeks, a woman entering the deli just ahead of my son and me. It’s not that I’ve never seen spandex on a dimply, over-sized buttocks; I’ve just never seen the clingy material bury so deep in one’s crack that two distinct hills are the outcome. It was like butt boobs. Or so said my teenage son.
As much as I’d love to go on, I recently promised brevity in blog posts, so I must bid you adieu. Besides, there is a string-bean of a man laying mulch outside of my window, and lest he think I am a mesmerizing master at work (yeah, right) or a slacker (bingo!), I best get my single-breasted buttocks out of this chair.
But before I go, I need to nominate others for these awards, always a difficult choice when one reads dozens of wonderful blogs. I opted on the following bloggers because, aside from Polly, they were my six earliest followers, who—against all odds—faithfully come back to see me. As always, do not feel pressure to play the game. Just know that I truly appreciate your support.
What about you? Have you encountered any strange strangers lately? Or maybe you’re the strange one?…