A Nightmare Cruise

It’s official. Dreams of fellow bloggers are my new norm. No point analyzing it. I already know I’m weird.

Ah, but to post another entry on blogger dreams or not? With one, it’s funny; with two, it’s cute, but a third? Might be a bit like houseguests and fish—after three days they both start to stink. Or in this case, after three posts.

So maybe this will be the last one in case I stink you off my website. You be the judge. Please take the poll below and tell me whether I’ve exceeded my welcome. Be honest. You won’t hurt my feelings.

But now, aren’t you curious which one of you interrupted my sleep most recently?

This time it was Perfecting Motherhood.*

Oh, don’t let that innocuous name fool you, nor her undoubtedly cute French accent as a native Parisian now residing in sunny San Diego. (Hey, Ms. Motherhood, how come you get Paris and San Diego and I get Cleveland?) Because not only did she make me work in this dream, she torpedoed me awake with a palpitation-inducing fearfest. One that required ambulation, a drink of water, and a check of the door locks before returning to bed.

Here’s what went down. The reverie began pleasantly enough. You see, Perfecting Motherhood and I, along with our gaggle of children, embarked on a lovely sea cruise. Who doesn’t hanker for fruity beverages and group deck-dancing? Well, this introvert for one, but I digress…

Luckily for us, we scored two spacious, adjoining cabins, though this connectedness would prove my downfall. As I frolicked in my room, trying to ignore the hairballs and body debris left behind by others, Perfecting Motherhood popped in and with a sultry French smile, informed me that her ducklings, who, by some mysterious nocturnal logarithmic process, had now quadrupled in number, were my charge for the evening. She had dancing, drinking, and gambling to attend to. Ironic blog name she chose, no?

The next thing I knew—as so often happens in dreams—dozens of unruly children ran amok in my suddenly walnut-sized room.

Oh, but that’s not the worst part. Far from it. As I turned around and caught my reflection in the cabin mirror, to my horror and disgust, I discovered I now donned a purple, sequined leotard accessorized with spiffy black tights and silver tap shoes. Say what?!

Although this isn’t me, I’ve finally found a simile of the glasses I wore in the 80s. (Image credit: awkwardfamilyphotos.com)

And lest you mistake that for the nightmare, hold on. After my hideous wardrobe discovery, I once again spun around. Only this time it wasn’t bad 80′s Broadway garb that greeted me. This time it was a leering, knife-wielding fellow, seconds away from plunging an eight-inch blade into my chest.

And if that doesn’t wake a leotard-clad, child-sitting dreamer from her slumber, I don’t know what will.

The question remains, however. Which one of you male bloggers wielded that knife?

In case you’d like to comment on this drivel but need a concrete question: Have you ever been on a cruise? If so, which cruise line? If different ones, which one is your favorite?

*My thanks to Perfecting Motherhood for putting up with my shenanigans. In reality, she is a dedicated and kind blogger, and I’m sure one heck of a mother.

Cartoon images from Microsoft Clip Art

117 Responses to “A Nightmare Cruise”

  1. Kourtney Heintz

    I’ve never been on a cruise. It’s my worst nightmare to be trapped on a boat with a bunch of people that I may not like. :)

    Reply
    • crubin

      Ha ha! But who says you have to talk to anyone while you’re on the ship? There are lots of quiet places for an introvert to slip off to and read. And I don’t mean overboard.
      :)

      Reply
  2. Curly Carly

    Ahh I love the picture of the girl. I’ve seen it a few other places and it makes me laugh every time.

    I just realized I haven’t been getting your posts in my reader. I feel like I’ve missed out. I tried un-following and re-following. Hopefully that fixes it :)

    Reply
    • crubin

      Yeah, you gotta give that woman credit for submitting that photo to Awkward Family Photos. I love those greeting cards. I’m sure I have plenty of my own pics that could make the cut.
      :)

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  3. starlaschat

    It feels strange not putting my two cents in about your post above. Now that I have your attention I forgot what my two cents are. Well, you are missed, and sounds like you are having a good time so carry on. :+)

    Reply
    • crubin

      Thanks, Starla. I just didn’t figure I’d get much chance to stop in and check for comments.
      :)

      Reply
  4. Daniel Nest

    Hahahaa turning random dreams into post fuel – well played, well played! Also, I may or may not own a knife…nobody can prove anything! Haven’t been on any long cruises, but the idea sounds interesting enough – open sea has certain potential for fun, I assume!

    Reply
    • crubin

      Yes, I will milk anything for a topic, even if it is a little odd that I dream about fellow bloggers. Okay, maybe it’s more than a little odd…

      Reply
  5. jensine

    I went on a cruise down the Nile and I loved it … felt like Agatha Christi and didn’t want to come home, but then the heat was a different story

    Reply
    • crubin

      Yes, I bet it was a little toasty on the Nile! But what a great experience. I’m actually reading an Agatha Christie book right now. That’s likely the closest I’ll get to the Nile…
      :)

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  6. clownonfire

    C,
    I’m no dream expert, and although I’m well versed in basically pretty much everything, I mostly excel in the field of moi… So I thought I’d share one of my dreams with you… This is a true story… As real as a dream can be…

    I’m at an amusement park, the sky is pink, and The Flaming Lips are being played loud for everyone to hear… Darth Vader appears and I get into a light saber fight with him.

    I know. Awesome, right? My wife hates me for my dreams…

    Le Clown

    Reply
      • clownonfire

        Crubin,
        Indeed, it would explain my insanely Darth Vader collection worth more than my two kids’ college funds.
        Le Clown

        Reply
    • crubin

      Yes, the secret is out. As for a real picture of me with those glasses on? I’m thinking I’ll use it as a marketing tool when my book is out. If I sell 200 copies, I’ll post the photo of me from the late 80s with the big hair and even bigger red glasses…Maybe.

      Reply
  7. Ann Marquez

    :D Heck yeah, we’ll take more dreams! Didn’t stink at all ;)
    Hey I like your new profile pic.

    Reply
    • crubin

      Thanks on both accounts! I know in movies and books I hate when dream sequences occur, so I worried blog readers may feel the same about my posts. I’ll try to keep them sparce though. I always wonder if those of you without a Gravatar image of yourself would show up in my dreams. So far, it’s only those who’ve had a face to their name. Can you imagine if your little partridge or whatever it is landed in my dream?
      :)

      Reply

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