A Glass Half-Empty Stroll

Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art

I’m edgy. No word yet from my editor. Plenty of conversations with Mr. Nasty Pants, my self-esteem damaging imp. And not sure what to post about. Certainly not my angst about the aforementioned absent editor, because nothing’s more annoying than whining.

I know. I’ll listen to music. The first song I hear on my iPod’s shuffle will lead me to Monday’s blog topic. Brilliant.

And the winner is:

Cough Syrup by Young the Giant.

Well, now, that won’t do. Who wants to read about cough syrup? I suppose I could post about those money-making, useless, cough and cold medicines that send 7,000 children a year to the emergency room, but rants of any kind aren’t pretty. Just ask Mel Gibson.

Onto inspiration plan B. I’ll go for a walk. Like the blogger, Char, I’ll find Joy in the Moments. The woman takes blissful strolls, photographs beautiful flowers, and revels in gifts of nature. I will emulate her lovely mindset.

Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art

Outside, the setting sun warms my pasty skin; the birds chirp and chatter; a neighbor waves a friendly hello. Aww. Joy in the Moments. Just like Char.

But eww. What’s that smell? Good god, a dead skunk. Great. Now I’ll reek for the next ten blocks. Oh, and what’s that? Why, that would be a dog taking a dump. Right in front of me. That’s swell.

I’m trying, Char. I really am.

Okay, Carrie, focus. Ooh, look at that lovely flock of geese in my neighbor’s yard. See? This is just the type of nature moment Char would notice!

My neighbor’s visitors.

But despite my best intentions, this is what I notice:

Wow. That’s a lot of goose poop on their sidewalk.

But hey, check out that car. Its license plate’s first three letters are CSU. Ha ha. Crime Scene Unit. Good one, Carrie. Hmmm, I wonder when my DVD of last season’s Dexter will arrive. Could a serial killer really be that kind and good? Maybe he…

Stop it, idiot girl. You seek inspiration for a post, not bloody crime scenes.

And that’s when I stumble upon it. Something even a dark-hearted, cynical, Dexter-loving soul like me cannot taint. Look at this homeowner’s tree. Quaint, cute, and clever, all in one bark-covered package.

My glass half-full neighbors.

That’s it. The answer is in the trees. May their majestic presence seed my inspiration. May their sheltering branches protect me from blogger’s block.

Lighter than helium, I press on, passing tree after magnificent tree. I’m doing it, Char. I’m doing it! The glass is half-full. Look at me world, my cup runneth over!

But alas, all good things must come to an end. Especially when one encounters this cruel trick of nature, planted most certainly for me and my half-empty view.

Two blocks from my house, I kid you not.

That majestic tree just gave me the finger.

What about you? Are you a glass half-full or half-empty? What spurs your creativity? Have you ever been flipped off by a tree?

133 Responses to “A Glass Half-Empty Stroll”

  1. philosophermouseofthehedge

    Oh, too funny to miss! Thanks for the heads-up.
    My neighbors have those tree faces (no arms).
    We deal with sea gull dropping on sidewalk…(most of the egrets have moved on since they cut all their roosting trees on the island.)
    Who says Mother Nature is letting us off free?

    Like

    • crubin

      Thanks! For a glass half-empty person, I’m actually pretty upbeat about it and am always grateful for what I have. But it is strange where my mind takes me sometimes.
      :)

      Like

  2. Anastasia

    Which is it if you think “the glass is *only* half full?” Lately all I can see (outside my own apartment) is everything wrong with everything. Once at home, everything is lovely and in control and logical. Outside, chaos. Is is possible all your feces related obstacles are your subconscious indicating the need for more/less fiber? ;)

    Like

    • crubin

      Sorry to hear there is chaos outside of your home. And sorry, but thinking the glass is ONLY half-full probably lands you in the glass half-empty category.
      ;)

      Believe it or not, my fiber intake is actually quite good. I think the potty humor is the result of living with three doses of testosterone daily.
      :)

      Like

  3. IGJ

    Hey, the tree topped off the walk. That’s a great beginning for your next book. “when I suddenly looked down and saw. . . .”

    Like

  4. raeme67

    But my whole blog is about ranting and often times it turns into whining!- It ain’t pretty but that’s what I do!

    Funny post as usual.

    Like

  5. subtlekate

    Grumbles at the editor on your behalf. I hope it’s soon. In the mean time, more scary trees please.

    Like

    • crubin

      Thank you. And if on my next walk, a tree throws a branch at me, I’ll know I’m in trouble.
      :)

      Thanks for stopping by. I hope you’re doing okay.

      Like

  6. Ann Marquez

    OMG Carrie!! Great stuff!! Tooooo funny ;) Glass definitely half full LOL!!!

    Like

    • crubin

      Thank you! And I’m glad to hear your glass has plenty of fluid in it. Some days mine does, too. Just not the night of this stroll.
      ;)

      Like

      • Ann Marquez

        This is so funny because I started to write a really long comment and then I cut back and in my haste ended up leaving an abbreviated version … I thought your walk ended up half-full. I’m really half-full and half-empty and sometimes in between. But I’m definitely not in La La Land. :D Enjoyed walking thru the neighborhood with you. Great material ;) (Sometimes I see the bird poop rather than the birds too … and the dust and cat hair rather than the “sunbeams.” ;)

        Like

  7. IntrovertedSarah

    I’m usually looking at how much is left in the glass. That’s just me. By now you’re editor will have contacted you and all will be right with trees and the rest of the world. That doesn’t stop me from worrying though, I’m right on the worry band with you. Giddy up.

    Like

    • crubin

      At least I’m choosy about what I worry about. Only so much angst to go around…
      :)

      Like

      • IntrovertedSarah

        It’s good to be selective. Everyone else can worry about the other things. We only have time to worry about the words.

        Like

  8. OneWeekToCrazy

    Haha, I totally understand those days, when it seems like the world is totally against you and NOTHING can be seen in a good light! (confession: I experience it for a half-hour after every workday that I’m forced to listen to my desk-mate complain about having every possible disease in the world). But typically, I’m a half-full kinda gal :)

    Cheers!

    Like

    • crubin

      Ooh, listening to another’s hypochondriac complaints–that sounds like loads of fun. And torture.

      It’s good to be half-full. But although, I’m often half-empty, I remain oddly positive about it. Weird.
      :)

      Thanks so much for stopping by. I appreciate it!

      Like

  9. starlaschat

    Ah… the return of Mr. Nasty Pants. It’s been awhile I think it’s difficult when your waiting on somthing like a phone call from an editor not to get caught up in worry. Nice job on getting out of your head and running away from Ol NP. :+) I’ve been finding out a lot lately that life really is a mixed bag and even if I can have a short moment in a long dress running with a smile in sunlight with a perfect gentle breeze even if it doesn’t last long even just a few minutes it’s a welcome break from my own Mr. NP insesant chatter.

    Like

    • crubin

      You are spot on, Starla. We have to stop and enjoy the little moments. I poke fun in my post, but I’m not so cynical that I don’t believe we shouldn’t make our own moments of sunshine. Because we should, and we should treasure them when they come.

      Thanks for your visit and for your lovely insight.
      :)

      Like

      • starlaschat

        I know I actually like when you share honestly about Mr. NP because most people if not everyone has a NP in the background. :+) I wish that I could have more of those hair tossed in the wind moments they sure make the other stuff in life more tolerable. I hope you get good news from your editor soon. :+)

        Like

  10. Kourtney Heintz

    Oh Carrie! I don’t think I’ve ever taken a walk with so many mixed messages from the universe. :-) I think you may be the only person I know who’s been flipped off by tree. That walk would make for interesting scene in one of your books.

    Like

    • crubin

      It’s funny, because I really didn’t know what to post about when I started the walk. I hoped something would come to me. And then nature played its part beautifully. I think I need to do more photo-snapping during my walks. I was amazed by what I found.
      :)

      Like

  11. writerwendyreid

    I am definitely “glass half empty and who the hell ate the last of the Oreos” girl. I hope your editor calls you soon. I hate waiting. :-)

    Like

    • crubin

      Thanks. I hope to hear back soon as well. If not, I will send out the nicest, gentlest email so as not to come off as “the pushy writer they signed.”

      As for the Oreo? For me it would be my chocolate hidden at the back of the fridge. Nobody better mess with that.
      :)

      Like

  12. emma

    My garden needs some weeding if you’re feeling a need for diversion or inspiration. Shall I send you my address?

    Like

  13. Arizona girl

    Sometimes it’s ok to give in to your glass-half-empty side, but it’s also really nice to let the glass-half-full side shine. Just think of all the things you have to be grateful for – most of us are doing much better than we like to give ourselves credit for. As far as the inspiration thing, I solved that problem by not giving myself any time pressure as to how often I’ll post, so inspiration just comes when it comes. Unfortunately, I think I’ve slid into a lazy rut as a result. Must get a move on again!!! Life is too short!

    Like

    • crubin

      You are so right. And I’m really not all that gnarly. It’s mostly just in fun. Although I do tend to be glass half-empty, I am very grateful for all I have and try to extend positivity. But writing about unicorns and rainbows isn’t as fun as writing about trees flipping me off.
      :)

      Thanks as always for coming by!

      Like

    • crubin

      Next time, I guess. Maybe I could throw in a little laxative talk too.
      ;)

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

      Like

    • crubin

      Thank you! It seems we’re all in a bit of a summer dry spell, at least from the various posts I’ve seen people write on the subject of writer’s block. Hopefully, we’ll all get our mojo back.
      :)

      Like

  14. sheilapierson

    You’re hilarious girlie! I love the tree flipping you off – er, not that it flipped YOU off exactly, just that it had the audacity to do it to begin with! lol

    Like

    • crubin

      Thanks! It really was the perfect end to my stroll, and it gave me some much needed blog fodder.
      :)

      Like

  15. wordswithnannaprawn

    I had a bit of a Mr Nasty Pants moment in my final exam last night…..but I am still on a bit of a high from the exam I had last Tuesday – Father Christmas was the invigilator. I am not shitting you. Big, jolly, white hair/beard, red t-shirt (it is sub tropical Queensland after all). He refused to explain why he’s never brought me longer legs even though I’ve asked for them every year since I was 8. Sem 1 is finally over and I can go out and smell the flowers and try to persuade my dog that there are better things to eat than duck poop. I will act on your advice and look out for obscene trees, maybe I’ll spot a koala or two :)

    Like

    • crubin

      Congrats on completing your first semester. Quite a great feeling, I’m sure! Now you can have some time to play. And who needs longer legs? Short ones can skip down the street just fine.
      :)

      Like

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