My Boyfriend’s Back But He’ll Never Be In Trouble
I have a boyfriend. Don’t worry. My husband knows. Mr. Rubin is very tolerant that way.
Although I’m not one for May-December romances, I make an exception for the following man. Why? Well, partly because I get to be the May, but mostly because he’s my Joe. My Joe Biden.
Image credit: www.inquisitr.com
Yep, you read that right. Joe Biden, the vice president of the United States, is my boyfriend. So what if he’s unaware of the union?
My infatuation is not political. The man could boast Republican, Democrat, or Vulcan values for all I care. But I adore him because of—not in spite of—his verbal diarrhea.
And the fact that he gets away with it.
Image credit: www.nowpublic.com
Maybe you recall my own unflattering tongue-tie when put on the spot, chronicled in an earlier post. So imagine my glee in watching the vice president of the United States gaffe his way through life and emerge as unblemished as an infant’s buttocks.
For example, during a May 2012 interview on “Meet The Press,” my babbling Biden struggled with a game of Who’s That Man? He called Mitt Romney “President Romney” and referred to President Obama as “President Clinton.”
Yet, did media grief rain upon Joey in the same torrential fashion as when Sarah Palin committed similar uncouth faux pas? Certainly not! “Oh, that’s just Joe being Joe,” we all said. A simple shrug and a smile.
Or how about during the 2008 election campaign when, in reference to Barack Obama, Mr. Biden declared: “A man I’m proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States – Barack America!”
Oh, Joe!
“Stop, stop, you’re killing me.”
And Tuesday, what did my little bumblebee do? He made a sex joke. Oh, yes he did. While speaking to a Hispanic advocacy group about living with extended family in the 1950s, this verbal sewage seeped out:
“By the way — having your grandpop living with you, having your great aunt, your uncle, for real. Those walls were awful thin. I wonder how the hell my parents did it. But that’s a different story. I know you don’t know anything about that. I know none of you in your families have done the same thing.”
Oops.
“Oh, my. At least buy me a drink first.”
But in my Joe Joe’s defense, the conference did take place in Las Vegas. Just saying.
I’ll be watching to see how much fallout that latest delicacy receives, but if history repeats, the burns will be minimal. Because that’s just my Joe. My boyfriend. My orator-challenged, cringe-inducing, good-god-what-will-he-say-next verbal doppelgänger.
Good to know the glass ceiling does not apply to word turds.
Do you think Vice President Biden gets off too easy from his gaffes? Would the same nonchalant shrugs happen if it were some other prominent figure? Or is a sense of humor in order? Do you have Joe’s number? If so, can I have it?
All images not already credited are from Microsoft Clip Art.
110 Responses to “My Boyfriend’s Back But He’ll Never Be In Trouble”
Isn’t it sad that nobody harasses him for his understandable slips, but if a bigger player did the same thing the news (instigated by Fox) would leap on it like hyenas on road kill. But only if they were against the person. If Romney did it, they’d praise it. It shows how shallow our society has become in its public behavior. I think Joe is kinda cute and I find it odd how I never hear anything about him on most days.
Yeah, he’s my buddy. In fact, I just learned today that he asked his wife five times to marry him. At the very least the word-mumbler is persistent. But you’re right, there exists a big double standard in who gets called out and who doesn’t. But I suppose what else is new?
How did I miss this post? It’s a good ‘un! I like Joe too—I mean, the guy used to take Amtrak to work, for crying out loud. Respect. And there’s something very likeable about him, either because of or in spite of his bumbling. I think you should contact him about doing his PR, Carrie.
Yeah, he’s a pretty cool guy. Very down-to-earth. What’s not to like about that?
But I couldn’t do his PR for him. Then there’d be two bumbling baffoons…
Dan Quayle still gets skewered for misspelling the word potato.
Yeah, the spud really did him in.
I’ve MISSED reading you! Now that I have a real job and need to do actual work, I’m sooooo behind in reading, writing, and so forth. But I think about you ALL the time, in a non-stalkerish way! Forgive me…
Pink.
I hope you are settling into your new job. I’m sure it’s stressful. Thank you for commenting. I am always happy to have Miss Pink stop by!
Awwww…. I think of you everyday! It should be hopefully less hectic as I get settled into a new routine.
Joe who? The vice president? Who pays attention to him?
Hey, you dissing my boyfriend?
Ha ha–I think you just proved my point. That’s why he gets away with it all.
Sorry, didn’t mean to make fun of your boyfriend.
He is..ah…nice..ah ..I ..guess..
Let’s just hope he never reads this…
We can always hope he doesn’t …;)
I’m not too aware of anything Biden does. The way I see it, you just got out of an abusive relationship with former VP Dick Cheney. Sure, he seemed to have potential, but quickly you knew things were going downhill. Now you have smilin’ Joe talking about hoagies and Amtrak and Dover Speedway. We all deserve someone nice. I am glad you found him. Please do not revert back to the bad boys like Cheney.
Ha ha–great comment! And you’re right, those bad boy days with Churly Cheney are over. I think we all learned our lesson there.
Thanks so much for stopping by. I appreciate it.
I like our VP. On top of being a pretty regular fella, he has had a hand a writing some pretty great legislation including the Violence Against Women Act, which until this year has been a cornerstone in education and funding nation wide for medical emergency response, emergency housing, defense, police and prosecution of domestic and non-domestic treatment.
I think my writing between-the-line shows I like the guy, too. He doesn’t get enough credit for how smart and accomplished he is, because he’s too busy making verbal missteps. But I’ve always respected him and his policies. Uh, oh, I think I just let some of my politics show. Didn’t mean to do that.
I haven’t heard about all this – but he sure does have it bad! Still, I like muddley people – if he wants a threesome (verbal, that is) I’ll be in it.
You are always welcome to join our verbal mushmouth. Like everything, there is safety in numbers.
I had no idea Biden was a word wrangler. Over here he’s treated with respect, on account of being a Democrat. Republicans tend to get picked up on their mistakes (we all know Bush was a fool) but the Democrats tend to get away with it.
In other news Carrie, I’m delighted to report that I’ve been lucky enough to be the recipient of a WordPress Blogging Award, and it would be the height of rudeness for me to not extend the honour immediately to you, because you deserve it. I hope you’ll accept with gravitas and aplomb, because these things are like gold dust.
http://anxietyandbiscuits.com/2012/07/14/officially-lovely/
I realized after I posted about my boyfriend Biden that the entry was a little culturally egocentric. But as I suggested to another commenter, we Americans are good at that. Then again, we have heard an awful lot about that English Queen and her descendants over here, which is our own fault, really, because apparently, many of my countrymen lap that info up like melted ice cream.
Boy, I’ve really gone off-topic, haven’t I? What I meant to say is, thank you for the award nod. Very kind of you!
I don’t but if I did, I would have given it to you!
Alas, I’ll keep searching.
Can’t say I’ve heard a great deal about him, Carrie, but you’ve sure brought him to life for me here – what a hoot!
Yes, I guess this post was a little culturally egocentric. We Americans tend to be good at that…
He reminds me of a weatherman. They are wrong 95% of the time, but their jobs are secure.
Ha ha–good analogy. But the problem with poor Biden is that underneath his bumbling, he’s actually very intelligent, proof that one can sound like an idiot but not necessarily be one. Oh, good, there’s hope for me yet…
I think there are lots of people who stink at speaking and yet are very smart. Part of the reason I love to write is that I am amazing on paper. In the moment, err, not so much.
Yes, I’m better on paper than in person as well. Sigh.
I can’t say I know him, but I want to take him home.
Ooh, he might like that, too.
If I were vice president, I would totally be Joe Biden. I’m at that point in my life when I have a word on the tip of my tongue that never quite makes it out of my mouth. And a lot of people just don’t appreciate sarcastic humor (which I totally don’t get). I would want George W to be my boss. Between the two of us, we’d get more face time than any other presidency in the history of all media.
Ha ha–that would be quite the crew. I know I’d vote for you. And for the record, I appreciate sarcastic humor. Which is probably why I like your blog.
Thanks for dropping by!
Holy snarkies! Look at all the comments here. You struck a nerve! The man is a nincompoop.
Well, his verbal gaffes are, anyway. As for the guy personally, I suspect he’s all right.
I’ve got to say that other than some gaffs, I know next to nothing about the guy, and he is vice president. One of the most useless positions around, unless something happened to the President and then he’s in the bog chair.
I’m assuming he must be reasonably intelligent but then Palin could have been VP so who knows. If anything it bugs me that people spend too much time politicking, complaining about what people say and how they say it, rather than asking about actual ideas and the like which could improve the country. I would take someone who has a habit of saying the wrong thing any day, so long as they have some good well thought through ideas. Sadly those with the good ideas have more sense than to become politicians.
There is so much truth in your comment, I don’t know where to begin. But actually, Joe Biden is a really smart guy with a lot of accomplishments. He just comes off bafoonish with his mutterances.
But yes, how about we focus less on their silly verbal missteps and more on their ideas and actions? Sounds good to me.
It is how we can have geniuses who are fabulous at one thing but otherwise a bit mad. I just cannot see how there cannot be people who are superb at certain areas and how to improve then, but are utterly useless at communicating to the masses. And want nothing to do with the politicking.
That’s the problem. The people who would actually do best by “the masses” are those that probably could not get themselves elected because they are not charasmatic enough or–do I dare say it?–devious enough. Or they don’t want their lives dragged through the mud. And who can blame them?
Funny post! I’m glad I’m not famous and have to ever open my mouth. I’d put my foot in my mouth all the time (figuratively of course, because I am so unlimber that my foot can’t even get CLOSE to my mouth in real life). Sorry, I don’t have Joe’s number to give you. The only number I know by memory is 867-5309.
Now that song will be in my head all night! Jenny, Jenny…
You never know–your books might take off like the “Shades of Grey” author, and before you know it, you’re having to speak all over the place. Better get practicing.
I’m about 80% through your book. Everytime I think Suvi will end up with James, something happens that makes me think she won’t. You’re keeping me guessing!
That’s it. Jenny! Thank you. I had a mind blank on who’s number that was. I could sing only the number part of the song, but the name just wasn’t coming. I hate getting senile.
Glad I’m keeping you guessing on my book. I had a prologue to it that I finally took out because my daughter told me it gave away too many clues. Hardest thing I ever had to do. I still have it in a file that I can go read it and sigh–my baby I had to give away for adoption (that kind of thing)
I understand completely. Very hard to chop off the bits we created.
I’d say something here, but I’d probably f***ukc it up! ;-(
Ha ha–then best to keep silent. If only my Joe would learn that.
Oh, Lord, when I have to talk and I’m nervous, my internal babbler kicks into overdrive. I get tangled up in clauses and nonsequiturs and want to run for the hills. We’re human. We trip over our tongues sometimes. We should all get some get-out-of-jail-free cards for those times.
Isn’t that the truth. And based on what you just said, it appears that you, Gina, and I must never do a book signing together. Between the three of us, there would apparently be a lot of babbling going on. Then again, maybe everyone would feel so sorry for us, they’d all buy a book.
As long as they buy one of each, right?
Oh, of course. In both e-book and print format.
One of the most entertaining group discussions I’ve witnessed was a 5-panel mystery writers group before a crowd of 300. Afterwards my husband, who doesn’t even enjoy the genre, said, “That was fun; watching a bunch of intelligent people have a conversation about something that they are passionate about.” If there were any gaffs, they called each other out and laughed their butts off…just like real people…? Maybe the 3 of your would get an SNL guest spot out of it after the performance at the book signing?
Now there’s a thought! Or more likely, SNL would do a spoof ON us, making fun of our misspeaks and stutters. As long as Kristen Wiig plays me, I guess I’m okay with that. But with my luck, they’d have one of the men play me…
Joe Biden cracks me up too, as he constantly forgets to think before he talks (say it like it is, Joe!). Oops, foot in the mouth… Dan Quayle was worse but he really was an idiot. Biden is a lot smarter and I think he’s just very politically incorrect, which is ironic for a guy who’s been in politics for so long. I admire Biden for his commitment to his country though, through his military service and then Congress. I also admire him for not trying to get his son out of serving in a dangerous place (Afghanistan, I think, or maybe Iraq) when the sh&*^t hit the fan and he was called for duty. He could have made a quick call to get his son reassigned somewhere safer but didn’t. A Congressman that doesn’t use his privileges for his own purpose, what a concept…
I was hoping you’d stop by, because I was excited for your response. I love how you tell it like it is. And I agree 100%. Behind Biden’s verbal mush-mouth is a very intelligent guy with a lot of accomplishments. I know how it feels to put one’s foot in one’s mouth, so I enjoy reading about his escapades (though I don’t think I’ve ever gaffed as horribly as this poor guy).
Thanks for making me smile. I’d love to see you in a debate. I bet you’d kick butt.
I think Biden’s problem is, his brain works faster than his mouth and things don’t come out right all the time. He could also be turning senile, right?
If you’ve ever seen him in debates or interviews, he’s got a lot of good things to say and says them well, and he was very passionate on the Senate floor. Compared to Sarah Palin, Dan Quayle, or even Ronald Reagan (Sr.), he’s still the smartest of the bunch.
I’ve had my share of stupid things I said, with a little voice in my head thinking, I can’t believe I just said that! As for the debates, you can call me opiniated. But if I believe something is the right thing, I will argue and try to convince until I get my point across. Bosses hate that!
I agree. He is a very smart man with a lot of good ideas. I was impressed with him during the 2008 debates. My mom recently met him and took a photo with him. It’s really cute.
On a side note, I’d LOVE to have dinner with Bill Clinton. Smart and funny, my favorite combination.
Agreed. But be careful. He might make a pass at you.
I’m grinning ear to ear. :+) Chalk me up for enjoying a little Biden from time to time for the very same reasons. I love that you call him” your little bumble bee.” :+) What a delightful post. You bring up so good points as well would others get so over looked? Is it because people are not surprised? Or maybe they look forward to what is going to slip out of his mouth next time? I wouldn’t want to confide in Biden a good secret you could bet it would probably slip out.
Ha ha–yeah, probably best not to confide your secrets to him.
But I think you’re right–he likely gets away with it more because everyone is so used to it. I don’t want to bring up the gender issue (okay, I just did), but I don’t think Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin or Nancy Pelosi escape such fate. But we need to remember people are human. We misspeak. I think a little forgiveness is in order.
I loved this post, as well as the discussion that followed. I think you did a really nice job skirting the political mudslide and keeping it breezy!
All of his blunders do make me wonder what on earth anyone saw in him as effective? Or does he behave like this only on-camera out of a natural aversion to being filmed? I would love to be a fly on the wall when he isn’t on camera or being recorded in any way to see, even in the most casual, easy settings, if he’s as awkward and clumsy.
It’s funny, because when he’s not floundering, he has some good insights and has an impressive list of accomplishments, regardless of his political leanings. But as you mention, that’s not what comes out in front of the cameras. And I just know the same fate would happen to me.
Thanks for your kind words. I don’t want to bring politics into my blog, but I figured this was good for a laugh or two.
Well he’s one of my friends and he is a very good man. He even took a picture with me.
Hey, are you moving in on my man? I suspected something fishy was going on…
If ever proof were needed that the Vice President just does not count for anything, Bidenisms and the lack of reaction to same provide it.
Well, at least my similarly verbal-challenged boyfriend provides me blog fodder. That counts for something, even if it isn’t what they had in mind.
There’s definitely a political double-standard that Biden benefits from. You left out what is to me the most striking of the Biden gaffes: (Of Obama) “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.”
Biden got away with that at a time when we were being told that words as innocuous as “socialist,” “Community organizer” and the adjective “Uppity” were all code words for black. I find it terribly upsetting that freedom of speech only exists for certain people.
I don’t want to make this an R vs. D conversation, because political conversations online are tiresome and frustrating. Politics is one of those subjects, unlike say, chemistry or ancient Sanskrit, that people who are complete nonexperts on the subject feel that they not only have a right, but are somehow expected, to expound upon a subject they know nothing about.
In fact, if you want to hear how dumb people are, ask them the reasons they’re voting for a particular candidate. You’ll get to hear the candidate’s talking points!
I left out that Biden verbal turd on purpose, as I wanted to keep this light. But you are right–definitely a double standard. Or maybe it just comes from someone flubbing up so much, that people come to expect it. When it comes from someone like Obama, or another politician who is equally eloquent, we tend to notice it much more.
And I hear you on the ignorant enjoying their pontification. I especially love how people on both sides of the healthcare debate share their unwaivering opinions, but yet when asked to really describe what the health care plan includes, they can’t.
Regardless of what side of the fence one straddles, or whether their crotch is stuck in the middle, one should read up a bit on the facts before spouting an opinion.
But today’s post is all in fun and hopefully politically neutral. I’m focusing more on my Joey’s terrible way with words when put on the spot, something I know a little bit about.
As always, I enjoy hearing (reading?) your thoughts.
I find a lot of Biden’s gaffes endearing (not the one I mentioned previously). Particularly when he said “This is a big f***ing deal” on an open mic.” He brags about his IQ a lot (or he used to), which I don’t care for, particularly when one is so demonstratively dim.
But I’m not kidding when I say the climate is upsetting to me. I don’t like that so many people are listening, waiting–WAITING!–for someone to say the wrong thing. If you read through the headlines every day you’ll see somebody being fired or reprimanded for saying something he or she “shouldn’t” have.
We live in a world where it’s egregiously insensitive to say “nappy headed hos,” but perfectly okay to tell a joke about how blondes are stupid and slutty.
I agree. Everybody is ready to pounce. Think about the woman who said, “Anne Romney has never worked a day in her life.” Horrible thing to say, for sure, but if she had only added “outside of the home” or “in the corporate world,” none of that hoopla would have happened. We all misspeak. Some just seem to get away with it more than others.
I did the same thing once, and really hurt someone’s feelings. I used to sell insurance, and one of the questions that would come up was a person’s profession. I said to a woman, “Are you just a homemaker?” I meant it as in, is homemaker your only job. Even so, it was a ridiculous question–would I have asked a plumber if that was his only job? Of course not. Even worse, she took it with the emphasis on the word “just.”
I felt awful about it.
I should add that I got the sale though. Oh, yeah.
Hmmm, just what kind of apologizing did you do?…
And just think, if you had said it on television, you (and the country) would have heard it repeated ad nauseum, and everyone would think you’re a chauvinist and a misogynist. A little unfair, me thinks.
I’m just a little surprised Mr. Rubin hasn’t taken exception, realising as he now must the unique qualities you look for in a man: complete sexual innocence as a prerequisite, especially in someone already exhibiting evidence of alzheimers is an unusual start point, but I guess to each their own? If you’re going to be turned on by any form of diarrhoea I guess the verbal sort is the least objectionable, but I would urge caution. Imagine the difficulties you would have if you dated this guy. You’d be fortunate to make it into the same taxi! Would he wear his carpet slippers? Without his advisers would he wear his pants? What would he be like with a restaurant menu? And in French?
All very good points, and one this woman must seriously ponder. You are right–my Joe is an “unusual start point.” And a date with a bumbling, pantless man could be disastrous, indeed. Maybe I better put more thought into this whole extramarital thing…
Thanks for another hilarious comment. I always enjoy your visits.
They’re all just humans and humans make mistakes. God knows what I’d blather on about in front of a camera, reporters and hordes of people. It would be like an explosion of stupidity. Regardless of if I agree with their politics or decisions, I always have to respect our leaders. It’s a job not many people could hold up under. And seriously…no one can top Dan Quayle. Yikes! Nothing like public speaking to drain the intelligence from a person!
I agree completely. Who am I to throw stones at people’s verbal mistakes? I can’t imagine what it’s like to have to constantly be on your toes, ready for any question, and yet come out with a response that sounds poised, proper, and neutral. That’s why I’d never make it in politics…
Thanks, Gina. You speak my language.
Well, I meant, you speak my language on this topic. Not that you’re a bumbling baffoon like me.
Haha. You haven’t heard me speak in public. Bumbling baffoon is apt.
The two of us better never do a book signing together. It could be scary.
Or insanely fun.
Hahahaha I didn’t know about that May interview. That’s hysterical!
Yeah, probably best not to refer to your opponent as “President” when your boss is the actual president. But that’s just my Joe being Joe.
Maybe it’s just a vice president thing? Remember Dan Quayle? Wow. It seemed like there was a new gaffe every day. Maybe the vice president’s job should be downgraded to sitting there and looking pretty?
I think you’re onto something–Quayle, Biden, and (almost) Palin. Maybe it is a VP thing. A way to make the president look more articulate in comparison. But as for the looking pretty part; my Joe might struggle with that one…
Sounds a lot like our Prime Minister, David Cameron, and his ilk!
See how many of us verbal mushmouths there are in this world? Safety in numbers…
I saw his latest gaffe, Carrie — the one you’re referring. I wonder if the people backstage, his handlers and such wait….just almost cringing….they’re thinking, okay, so far so good, then all of a sudden, Awww, he almost made it. Remember the time you could read his mouth and the dropped the F bomb — you could see him say it and Obama was kind of smiling, patting him, moving away. Oh, Joe — you do make me laugh. Verbal doppelgänger– GREAT.
I won’t talk politics or religion on blogs, but I’ll sure as heck join in on a discussion at laughing at all of everyone of them and their gaffes.
. Funny post — thank you.
Brigitte,
Hi.
Le Clown
what up, Le Clown???
Brigitte,
I don’t have an answer for that. Coffee first.
Le Clown
I tried to make this post politically neutral as I avoid politics on my blog as well, though I love to discuss the topic elsewhere. But no matter what the political affiliation, I feel for those who stumble on their feet. I know the feeling. Just think of how much more eloquent my Joe would be if he could type out his responses and put some thought into them first?
And yes, I imagine his backstage people don’t breathe until his speech is over. And then they wait for the aftermath…
I like one SNL skit where one of those immensely talented peeps was portraying him, “I’m from Scranton! I come from H*ll!!” Then he goes on to make inappropriate remarks….so good. Almost as good as watching Joe himself.
Yeah, I think Jason Sudeikis plays Biden. Always great laughs from him.
It’s just Joe being Joe. I do have Joe’s number for you. It’s 1-800-BLUNDER.
Excellent! We are long overdue for our first date. We’re going to see who can say the stupidest things when put on the spot.
Carrie,
Lisa Brown says “vagina” during an anti-abortion debate and is banned from speaking. Your BF randomly speaks about doing it to a Hispanic advocacy group and the media pokes fun, and we turn the page?
I think Le Clown needs to be an American political figure. Together with Rush Limbaugh, we’ll get away with [almost] everything!
Le Clown
Oh, yes, Le Clown would indeed make a fine American politician. Because, like Le Clown’s blog, an American politician can get away with anything. Unless the Le Clown politician is female and says the word “vagina” during an anti-abortion debate…
Carrie,
Exactly! Or if such a female politician would be “extreme” enough to breastfeed her child past infancy…
Le Clown
Now that I would love to see. A young senator breastfeeding during a congressional meeting with her male cronies. It’s scary to think of how much that would make them squirm. I would enjoy it immensely. Ms. Carrie Biden likes how Le Clown’s mind works.
I’m disparaging your boyfriend here, but forget the goofy stuff he says on a daily basis – what about those ‘f’ bombs he drops? And caught by the mic? Nobody cares about that either… But the truly amusing thing to me is thinking about him working on the foreign relations committee – how did those gaffes go over in translation with foreign leaders? Can you imagine being his translator? Geez… lol
Ha–that’s a good point. I never thought about his poor translators. They probably have to clean it up, and try to form actual sentences out of his incomplete and muddled ones. Maybe they take an extra course of preparation: Biden Babble 101. But alas, I still adore my man. He gives my verbal dyslexia hope.
You gotta wonder how many international incidents occurred or nearly occurred over one his babbling blunders
Oh, they probably just slap him on the back and say, “Oh, Joe!” I know I would. At least he’s not running up tabs with strippers.
you are quick on your feet girl…..and hilarious.
Thank you! But if I am quick on my feet, it’s only in written form. If we were having this conversation in real life, I’d only think of something to say several minutes after the fact. Well, maybe not if it was a one-on-one conversation. But in front of a crowd? I’s be making a fool of meself just like my boyfriend, Joe.
Hehehee he’s certainly taking over where Bush left off in the “entertaining the masses through awkward words” game! But what would politics be without someone we could laugh at…with… Boring, that’s what!
This is why I could never be in politics. With my verbal mishaps, I’d be that “someone” you’re all laughing at.
As for Bush, he was never my boyfriend, even though he, too, displayed an impressive case of verbal vomit. He also displayed a case of actual vomit on a foreign leader once. At least my Joe has never done that.