My Boyfriend’s Back But He’ll Never Be In Trouble

I have a boyfriend. Don’t worry. My husband knows. Mr. Rubin is very tolerant that way.

Although I’m not one for May-December romances, I make an exception for the following man. Why? Well, partly because I get to be the May, but mostly because he’s my Joe. My Joe Biden.

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Yep, you read that right. Joe Biden, the vice president of the United States, is my boyfriend. So what if he’s unaware of the union?

My infatuation is not political. The man could boast Republican, Democrat, or Vulcan values for all I care. But I adore him because of—not in spite of—his verbal diarrhea.

And the fact that he gets away with it.

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Maybe you recall my own unflattering tongue-tie when put on the spot, chronicled in an earlier post. So imagine my glee in watching the vice president of the United States gaffe his way through life and emerge as unblemished as an infant’s buttocks.

For example, during a May 2012 interview on “Meet The Press,” my babbling Biden struggled with a game of Who’s That Man? He called Mitt Romney “President Romney” and referred to President Obama as “President Clinton.”

Yet, did media grief rain upon Joey in the same torrential fashion as when Sarah Palin committed similar uncouth faux pas? Certainly not! “Oh, that’s just Joe being Joe,” we all said. A simple shrug and a smile.

Or how about during the 2008 election campaign when, in reference to Barack Obama, Mr. Biden declared: “A man I’m proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States – Barack America!”

Oh, Joe!

“Stop, stop, you’re killing me.”

And Tuesday, what did my little bumblebee do? He made a sex joke. Oh, yes he did. While speaking to a Hispanic advocacy group about living with extended family in the 1950s, this verbal sewage seeped out:

“By the way — having your grandpop living with you, having your great aunt, your uncle, for real. Those walls were awful thin. I wonder how the hell my parents did it. But that’s a different story. I know you don’t know anything about that. I know none of you in your families have done the same thing.”


“Oh, my. At least buy me a drink first.”

But in my Joe Joe’s defense, the conference did take place in Las Vegas. Just saying.

I’ll be watching to see how much fallout that latest delicacy receives, but if history repeats, the burns will be minimal. Because that’s just my Joe. My boyfriend. My orator-challenged, cringe-inducing, good-god-what-will-he-say-next verbal doppelgänger.

Good to know the glass ceiling does not apply to word turds.

Do you think Vice President Biden gets off too easy from his gaffes? Would the same nonchalant shrugs happen if it were some other prominent figure? Or is a sense of humor in order? Do you have Joe’s number? If so, can I have it?

All images not already credited are from Microsoft Clip Art.

110 Responses to “My Boyfriend’s Back But He’ll Never Be In Trouble”

  1. Anastasia

    Isn’t it sad that nobody harasses him for his understandable slips, but if a bigger player did the same thing the news (instigated by Fox) would leap on it like hyenas on road kill. But only if they were against the person. If Romney did it, they’d praise it. It shows how shallow our society has become in its public behavior. I think Joe is kinda cute and I find it odd how I never hear anything about him on most days.

    • Carrie Rubin

      Yeah, he’s my buddy. In fact, I just learned today that he asked his wife five times to marry him. At the very least the word-mumbler is persistent. But you’re right, there exists a big double standard in who gets called out and who doesn’t. But I suppose what else is new?

  2. Madame Weebles

    How did I miss this post? It’s a good ‘un! I like Joe too—I mean, the guy used to take Amtrak to work, for crying out loud. Respect. And there’s something very likeable about him, either because of or in spite of his bumbling. I think you should contact him about doing his PR, Carrie.

    • Carrie Rubin

      Yeah, he’s a pretty cool guy. Very down-to-earth. What’s not to like about that?

      But I couldn’t do his PR for him. Then there’d be two bumbling baffoons…

  3. Pink Ninjabi

    I’ve MISSED reading you! Now that I have a real job and need to do actual work, I’m sooooo behind in reading, writing, and so forth. But I think about you ALL the time, in a non-stalkerish way! Forgive me… :D


    • Carrie Rubin

      I hope you are settling into your new job. I’m sure it’s stressful. Thank you for commenting. I am always happy to have Miss Pink stop by!

  4. Mooselicker

    I’m not too aware of anything Biden does. The way I see it, you just got out of an abusive relationship with former VP Dick Cheney. Sure, he seemed to have potential, but quickly you knew things were going downhill. Now you have smilin’ Joe talking about hoagies and Amtrak and Dover Speedway. We all deserve someone nice. I am glad you found him. Please do not revert back to the bad boys like Cheney.

    • Carrie Rubin

      Ha ha–great comment! And you’re right, those bad boy days with Churly Cheney are over. I think we all learned our lesson there.

      Thanks so much for stopping by. I appreciate it.

  5. Valentine Logar

    I like our VP. On top of being a pretty regular fella, he has had a hand a writing some pretty great legislation including the Violence Against Women Act, which until this year has been a cornerstone in education and funding nation wide for medical emergency response, emergency housing, defense, police and prosecution of domestic and non-domestic treatment.

    • Carrie Rubin

      I think my writing between-the-line shows I like the guy, too. He doesn’t get enough credit for how smart and accomplished he is, because he’s too busy making verbal missteps. But I’ve always respected him and his policies. Uh, oh, I think I just let some of my politics show. Didn’t mean to do that.

  6. butimbeautiful

    I haven’t heard about all this – but he sure does have it bad! Still, I like muddley people – if he wants a threesome (verbal, that is) I’ll be in it.

  7. Chris Biscuits

    I had no idea Biden was a word wrangler. Over here he’s treated with respect, on account of being a Democrat. Republicans tend to get picked up on their mistakes (we all know Bush was a fool) but the Democrats tend to get away with it.

    In other news Carrie, I’m delighted to report that I’ve been lucky enough to be the recipient of a WordPress Blogging Award, and it would be the height of rudeness for me to not extend the honour immediately to you, because you deserve it. I hope you’ll accept with gravitas and aplomb, because these things are like gold dust.

    • Carrie Rubin

      I realized after I posted about my boyfriend Biden that the entry was a little culturally egocentric. But as I suggested to another commenter, we Americans are good at that. Then again, we have heard an awful lot about that English Queen and her descendants over here, which is our own fault, really, because apparently, many of my countrymen lap that info up like melted ice cream.

      Boy, I’ve really gone off-topic, haven’t I? What I meant to say is, thank you for the award nod. Very kind of you!


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