Remember that scene in The Sound of Music where the children sing good night to the party guests before retreating one by one to their little Austrian beds? Well, imagine that’s the Rubin clan bidding you adieu for a week.
First goes Mr. Rubin—quietly—as he’s still a bit shell-shocked over the whole vagina-head thing. Second up is Teenager Rubin, flinging scatological terms and penis references your way during his neanderthalic shuffle out the door. Next exits Preteen Rubin, shooting Nerf bullets at your faces and bums in lieu of a heartfelt goodbye. (There’s still one stuck on your crotch, by the way. Sorry about that. But don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it.) And finally goes me, tossing chocolate and cookies and cheesecake your way. Along with a gym pass for the day to balance things out.
At the end of this embarrassing parade, you’ll all sing the word “Goodbye” like the guests in the movie, waving your arms in a similarly creepy fashion.
The above thesis is my long-winded way of announcing my Internet break. I know, I know, I’ve threatened my absence before, only to implant my Gravatar head on your sites five seconds later. But I really mean it this time.
After two weeks of editing—going through my novel so many times it’s now considered a form of torture in nine countries—I am shutting down the laptop except for a daily e-mail dump (well, now, that came out wrong). My kids deserve it. Although I’ve met their basic needs, I’ve missed out on two weeks of laughs, Mario games, magic tricks, and more. And now I intend to collect my due.
As my official vacation has already commenced, I closed out the comment box. The Midwestern woman in me cannot leave a comment unanswered. Neither can the Type-A woman, but it’s easier to blame North Dakota and Ohio than my own shortcomings, so we’ll stick with the former.
But a push of the “like” button is always welcome. Knowing you stopped by to read my twaddle gives me more pleasure than even the biggest, chocolaty, nutty, caramel concoction the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory can create.
And that is saying a lot.
See you in nine days!
All images from Microsoft Clip Art