Football, Wieners, and Offal
I’m a bit out of sorts lately. You see, my baby is away at (American) football camp. For a week. With only a few nights post-vacation spent in his own bed before being whisked away to a hot and humid dorm room, surrounded by pungent teammates with foul mouths, eating food devoid of nutrients, and suffering hour upon hour of daily practice and team-building exercises.
Image credit Microsoft Clip Art
“Well, who gives a crap?” say the Y-chromosome-enhanced individuals reading this post. “Suck it up. That’s what preseason football camp is about.”
At least that’s what Mr. Rubin says. As he lounges in his seventy-three-degree comfort, watching Falling Skies, chomping on pizza and sipping a frosty ale.
But he’s right. I know he is. (Just don’t tell him I said so.) My fifteen-year-old son is over six feet tall—and growing. He chose to play concussion/football despite several highly enjoyable sessions with me discussing injury statistics and heatstroke deaths. I even provided reading materials, though, in retrospect, perhaps a PowerPoint presentation should have been offered.
Image credit Microsoft Clip Art
But my objective pontification failed. Both on my son and Mr. Rubin alike, who nodded sagely at my words while quietly planning his travels for upcoming away games.
I know when I’m outnumbered.
So, today’s post honors my missing—but as of yet, concussion-less—son. I present you with two Awful Offspring Offal gems, the second of which is more offal-lite than usual.
Offal #1:
Me, standing at the stove, stirring chili: “Hey sweetie, could you set the table?”
Sweetie teenager, in response: “Mom, I think something’s wrong with my wiener.”
Me, spinning around in horror and concern, chili spattering my shirt: “What do you me—”
Teenager, laughing, a gigantic foam sword hanging from his jeans’ zipper.
Oh, Carrie, when will you ever learn?…
Offal #2, Lite Version:
Teenager, demonstrating support of his mother’s blog: “Hey, Mom, I got a cartoon for you to put on your blog. I think your readers can relate.”
Me, pleased to experience familial interest in my endeavors: “Great, let me see it.”
Cartoon compliments of Cleveland’s The Plain Dealer
Ahh, my precious baby. Perhaps a week of football camp would serve him well…
Do your kids play sports? Would you allow your son to play football? Does your family support your blog? Have you ever doused yourself in chili only to be rewarded by a strategically placed sword?
143 Responses to “Football, Wieners, and Offal”
Well, I guess if football is the riskiest thing he ever does, you’ll be one lucky mom. I told my son that he could never play football. Of course, when I told him, we were in the delivery room, and he couldn’t hear me because he was screaming too loudly. He claims he doesn’t remember.
Parenting is hard work. Except when they make you laugh. That’s pretty cool.
See? That’s where I went wrong. Like you, I should have laid down the law in the delivery room. Good thinking!
He returned from football camp unscathed, so that’s good. Now I just need to get through the season.
Haven’t seen any posts from you for awhile. Did you take a little break? If so, I hope it was restful.
Oh, yes. We were at the beach. I’m back now, and I’ll start posting again. It was nice to have a little break from work, the computer and posting. ; ) Thanks!
And good luck with football season. I bet you’ll be one of those crazy-fun football moms. ; )
Ha! A “crazy-fun football mom” is so not me. But I will go to an occasional game. As long as it’s not cold outside. Then all bets are off.
Glad you got away. We all need to shut down the machines from time to time.
Love this post! So hilarious! LOL.. I needed the laugh, thank you!
So well written as always. Love the ‘beige wall’… sooo funny.. 
Pink.
Thank you! That’s nice to hear. And thank goodness my boys give me lots of blog fodder.
hahahahhahaha the comic is so funny! I don’t feel that way about your blog but it’s funny nonetheless! :p
Your baby will be back before you know it!
Thanks! He’s back now. And so far unharmed.
Isn’t it funny how they go through these toilet and dick obsessions! Ms M also is prone to say things like ‘Did I hear you say DICK??’ when you just said something perfectly innocent like, I dunno, mind the gap. Sounds to me like you just need to accept that the men in your household have gotta do what men have gotta do – play football, apparently.
I think that’s very wise indeed. I guess the saying “boys will be boys” is there for a reason. But as far as them “going through” obsessions? I think they enter them but never leave!
I can only imagine how tough that would be to send your sweet young son to football camp. I would have a really difficult time doing that so I can understand your concerns.
I have a hard time sharing my blog with family and friends I’m not sure why. Occasionally a friend or family member will say “Hey I have somthing for your blog.” I always appreciate that any help I can get is always appreciated. :+)
Your son will probably be fine. That doesn’t help does it? What do you mean PROBABLY! OK OK ….calm down I’m just kidding He will be just FINE! :+)
My husband and I discussed it again last night. I even have more concerns now after reading some of the wonderful comments I received. But I can’t make my husband see it in the same light. I suppose I could put my foot down, but that wouldn’t really bring peace to the home, that’s for sure. I guess I will hope for the best and try to remember that millions of boys play football and turn out just fine.
Thanks, as always, Starla.
As they say “Pick your battles.” I supose if this is what he really wants to do. I’m sure you gave him a great Be Safe talk before he left. You can always do a follow up talk with as you said with a good power point presentation. I will hope from a far the he will be just that fine. Can’t hurt. :+) Hope you have a great day today. Looks like another beautiful day so nice to have the warm days before winter sets in.
You, too! And thanks for sending your good football wishes my way.
Loved the cartoon! That was funny, I am afraid you are in for a very long ride. I was fortunate, both of my sons played soccer and baseball fairly tame sports. They were both skinny and without muscle to speak of throughout their teenage years (they insist it was by design).
They were not without humor though, I think this is a testosterone problem. I was outnumbered but not out meaned.
“outnumbered but not out meaned”—that is a perfect way to describe it. My boys may say and do silly things, but they are good to me, so I can’t complain. No one’s told me they hate me yet, so that’s good.
My youngest is pretty skinny and very much into magic, so hopefully I only have to face this football thing once.
I only got “I hate you” from my youngest a few times. He was an interesting child, to smart for his own good and always testing boundaries. When that happened I simply replied “I hate you too”, it made him cry.
Let’s hope that day doesn’t come for me.
I think your family is crazy. Love it!!!
I think crazy about sums it up.
As always, thanks for visiting!
You will never run out of inspiration with those two boys in your house!
I’m glad you talked to your son about football and made him aware of all the risks. But that you also allowed him to make his own decision. Sounds like the very best parenting in action! 
Well, let’s just hope his brain doesn’t take a beating.
I hope so too.
Hopefully your son’s protective gear will prevent injury, just as kismet helps us WordPress bloggers prevent spam. (Head scratch) Hmmm. . .
I think that is a great analogy, because I’m pretty sure I’ve suffered a spam concussion or two…
Ha!
I’m experiencing everything you are but my son is 12. I just put him on the bus today for the first time…off to middle school. It’s a happy, and somewhat sad day. =/
It is, isn’t it? My 12 year old is starting 7th grade. Hard for me to believe. But thankfully, he’s still generous with his hugs.
I’m losing mine in public. =(
Oh, yes, I already lost those. These are strictly private hugs.
Thank gods for daughters!
Yes, I’m sure girls have their moments, but a little more estrogen in the home would be nice at times.
lmao – it helps.
Love your family, Carrie. So much empathy. And I thought teenage girls were a nightmare! Ha ha.
I suppose teenage girls have their own brand of “special,” don’t they?
My boys both swim in a local league (very well and may compete at a higher level one day)
Not sure how I’d feel about football. I played, got hurt a lot, but the bigger hurt wasn’t to my body. Football is a glory game, and it can mess with a boys psyche. Football broke my heart for a time.
Oh, boy, that doesn’t sound good. One more thing for me to worry about. This is only my son’s second season, and so far he enjoys it. He really doesn’t get too much play time during a game, so I’m hoping he’ll lose interest and decide to let it be next year. Wishful thinking, perhaps.
My son plays hockey and lacrosse (which at his age is full of more physical contact than hockey) and sometimes I can’t watch. It was my daughter however, who fell off her bike and got a bad concussion (while she was wearing a helmet). It was a terrifying experience, especially for my husband who was with her at the time. We think she might have stopped breathing for a while and when she came to, she didn’t know who anyone was. Still brings me chills.
Very scary, I’m sure. My youngest had a concussion from a fall–blacked out for a few seconds–so I know how horrifying it can be. Hopefully all worked out okay for your daughter. And I’ve heard lacrosse can be pretty dangerous. So hopefully your son will remain injury-free. Hockey and lacrosse. Yikes.
My husband was quite a good fb player in his day, had a shot at the big time until he broke his thumb. Sad, but true.
He is desperate, desperate for my sweet, adorable, gentle 7-year-old son to play fb this year.
I am trying to be Switzerland while at the same time oohing and aahing over my son’s latest yen to be a hip-hop dancer. “Oh, I think he’d make a much better dancer than a fb player,” says I to anyone who will listen.
The jury is still out, but I think I’m winning.
The foam sword is priceless. So is the chili on the shirt. One day you’ll get him back, I’m sure of it.
You just wait–in a few years your seven year old will likely be doing the same thing with his swords.
Seven seems so young to play football, but I guess they start earlier now. My son didn’t start until last year as a freshman, although he knows the game inside out and has played informally. It’s tough to say no to it when they so clearly want it, as do the husbands, as I’m sure you’re experiencing. I guess all we can do is hope for the best and be grateful for the positives it provides–physical activity, friends, sportsmanship, etc. Then again, having a hip-hopper in the family would be fun!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Seven is way too young to play! Although I’m told at this age contact/tackling isn’t allowed. It is more about learning to catch, throw, run with the ball. If that’s supposed to make me feel better, it doesn’t. Some of those 7-year-olds are quite large, er, stocky and can plow through anything while they’re ‘learning’ to run with the ball. I’m no fool.
Well, I guess you’ll just have to keep playing that hip-hop music and sending out subtle hints.
Thank goodness my youngest is into magic. The only thing I have to worry about there is him making me disappear.
Great post! Good questions. I don’t have kids, but I think I would let them play, although I can imagine it would be hard. My husband supports my blog in theory, but once in a while I feel like he is trying to be more patient with it than he is…but I am still new to this, so we will figure that out with time, I imagine.
Blogs can be a time-sucker, that’s for sure. And it’s so tempting to check in on them at all hours of the day.
Thanks for dropping by and commenting.
Men, men, men, men – Robin Hood: Men in Tights! directed by Mel Brooks – sight gag with the sword. Cracks me up every time. I like your son’s taste in movies.
The organized sports thing – it can be the very best of experiences or the very worst.
You know exactly where your teenager is, what they are doing and with whom. (After saying that, I wish my mind didn’t go to Penn State)
Volleyball helped our daughter learn that valuable lesson of teamwork: trusting other people to do their part (instead of thinking YOU are the only one that can do something properly), value the contributions of others, cooperation, the payoff of practice and discipline, the exhilaration of performing beyond your wildest expectations – the adrenaline high like none other AND how to deal with abject failure…with grace and good sportsmanship. Pretty good life lessons to carry into adulthood. (BTW I got on my hands knees and said my thank you prayers when she got bored with gymnastics. With every blind trick on the balance beam I envisioned gray matter spilled on the mats.)
Trusting them to make the best decisions for living Their life – to me that’s the hardest part of being a parent. Watching. Knowing it’s going to hurt like hell when they fall, but knowing that the painful lesson will stick when my “protecting” them will ???
Carrie, I finally got a slight handle (I think) on the male football/sports/pecking order thing by reading the fiction of YA authors Robert Cormier’s Chocolate War and Chris Crutcher’s Athletic Shorts. I don’t say I agree, but now I have a more rounded understanding…if you in search.
Thank you so much for your comment. I’ve heard all the negative, what with my readings on the topic, but it was really nice to hear some positives, particularly from a mother, and I mean that sincerely. You brought up something I hadn’t really thought about: the fact that I know where he is after school and on weekends, and by the time he’s done with practice and games, he just wants to hang out at home. No time to get tangled up in the scary stuff of adolescence. And certainly, the value of teamwork is indeed a lifelong gift.
So, thank you, Ms. Mayfly, for shining some light on my dark thoughts. As for that Mel Brooks movie, I’m sure I saw it, but I don’t remember it. But from what you describe, I’m suspect my son would love it…
from Robin Hood Men in Tights: The Night Is Young
Ha ha! That was great. Thanks for the link. I’ll have to show my son that one. I think that was the same guy from “The Princess Bride.” By the way, that’s pretty impressive you would remember that scene off the cuff like that. Must have made quite an impression on you.
Our son was around 12 when it came out in video so Dumb and Dumber, Robin Hood: Men in Tight, Ace Ventura and their ilk I saw more than once or twice. I can’t say a continuous loop, but the dialogues were incorporated into our familial shorthand, a part of our “education.”
Well, I will admit Dumb and Dumber made its rounds through our house, too. As did Ace Ventura. And I suppose I should also admit I was laughing just as loud as my kids.
So many men have played football as boys. While you have your worries, the likelihood is that he’ll be just fine. Imagine if he wanted to be a boxer — then I might be really really worried!
That’s true. Thanks for putting it in perspective for me. As mothers, we tend to think of the worst case scenario. And yes, I would definitely draw the line at boxing!
I love your teen’s sense of humour. That comic strip is priceless! A chip off the old block? My eldest is a sports mad baseballer, but thankfully no interest in football. Here football is played without helmets and padding, it’s just men throwing themselves at each other.
Oh, yes, I should be grateful it’s not rugby. Talk about roughing it. I suspect those Australian men think American football players are woosies.
Well we do chuckle at all the material that your guys carry around and also that you guys have a seperate offensive team and defensive team. There is a grassroots gridiron following and a few clubs here too. I think mothers in health related fields always have a harder time with their sports playing children. All that knowledge is scary!
Yes, in this situation, a little knowledge can be dangerous.
There’s no way I’ll let my kids play football, over my dead body! There are many, many other activities they can choose that are not only safer but healthier for their bodies. I’m also not a fan of sports team and the indoctrination that can happen early on (little league for four year olds???). I’ll offer my kids to discover a variety of sports but I’m not going to push them to do that intensively. I honestly hope they pick swimming.
I’ve seen the results of a traumatic brain injury with their dad and I’m in so shape to deal with it with my kids. You are a brave, brave mom. Who got overruled by the excess testosterone in your house.
Wow, it’s not like you to hold back. I’m used to you telling it like it is.
But I agree with everything you said. I’ve said from early on none of my kids would ever play football. I was adamant against it. But freshman year approached, and the pleading intensified. It would have been easier if my husband would have objected as well, but they both have an inexplicable love of football (inexplicable to me). The good news is, my son plays very little in the actual games at this poing. He’s more of an academic than an athlete. In fact, football is the ONLY sport he wants to play (though he does enjoy basketball, too). Go figure.
As always, I appreciate hearing your opinions. Especially when they mirror my own.
Oh, I’d puncture that football and replace it with a basketball so fast! You know, I did a lot of horseback riding as a kid and teenager and I wish my mom had done something to decrease my enthusiasm. Like all rough sports, horseback riding is very dangerous. I broke an elbow, broke a couple of helmets (instead of my head), got a lot of bruises and permanently damaged two lumbar discs, which I didn’t realize at the time. It could have been worse though, and I could have ended up like Christopher Reeve… But my back is shot for good and can’t be fixed, and it was all preventable.
I always tell my kids, they only have one body. Some things can be fixed but others, like their brain, can’t, so it’s their job to take good care of their body. I hope down the road they make the right choices but I won’t mind pushing and shoving my way if I need to!
That’s terrible about your back. I know horseback riding can be dangerous. Hopefully my son will come out unscathed. The good thing is, his coaches are really great about injury prevention and are very aware of potential dangers. Football has received a lot of attention lately, forcing high schools to make modifications.
I think prevention is the key, and not forcing players to crush one another, if at all possible, and using the right equipment, is crucial. And know how to avoid heatstroke. I can’t believe this stuff still happens when people should know how to prevent it and recognize the signs. Anyone can get unhurt anywhere (I know someone who tripped off a sidewalk, hit his head on the curb and died from major brain bleed…) but I also think, let’s not push our luck!
Yes, I broke my foot tripping over my son’s stroller back when he was a toddler. That was classic Carrie.
Nice! As long as you spared the kid from pain, you’re a good mom. It reminds me, I saw something quite scary today (talking about concussions). I was taking my kids to the national history museum for a day camp and this mom was standing on top of the stairs outside, chatting with another mom and her baby strapped in the car seat, on the ground, on top of the stairs… Somehow, the car seat was knocked off and started falling down the stairs. The mom caught it in time but scared a whole bunch of us. The car seat manufacturers tell you in the instructions not to put car seats on counters, but obviously they need to add top of stairs to the list. Poor baby!
Thank goodness the mom caught it. How horrible.
My kids didn’t play too many sports, well not organized anyways. As adults, my boys will play hockey in the winter. They weren’t in too many sports as kids because it was too expensive and both my husband and I worked (never 9-5 jobs either) which meant it almost impossible to get them to all of their games. My 15 yr old daughter will read some of my blog posts but nobody else bothers. But then again, they haven’t read my book either.
It can be tricky to get them to their games and practice, but between my husband and I, we’ve managed to work it out. Football is actually easier in that regard, because he stays after school for practice and can be picked up by dinner time. And soon, he can drive himself. Oh, that’s a scary thought. Guess I’m not ready to go there yet.
I didn’t realize you had a daughter the same age as my son. Somehow, I bet she doesn’t dangle swords from her pants…
No…she just talks constantly about whatever her “insert current obsession” is. Right now, it’s anything Asian (started with K-Pop (Korean Pop music) from music to movies to tv dramas to food. I know more about Korea than I ought to.
Ha ha–well at least she talks to you. I get blips here and there from my son, but for the most part, he’s mute. Ironically, when I pick him up after school or practice, that’s when he’s most verbal. I enjoy those drives. But as soon as we get home, he’s clamped up teenage boy again. Probably because he’s so busy shoveling dinner in. Ahh, to be able to eat like a teenage boy…
My boys were like that too. Don’t take it too personally. They will become talkative again someday and you might be wishing that they’d shut up again
Yes, you’re probably right.
Carrie, it sounds as if you’ve got a wonderful relationship with your kids. I bet his room smells all testosterony and sweaty sock-like, right? That teenage boy smell? At least for a week, the estrogen may win out. I know you’ll miss him though! Sweet post.
Well, you nailed the scent in his room. “All testosterony” is a nice way of putting it. In fact, lately I’ve detected a rather unpleasant smell in his closet. I’ve put his father and him on that one. I’M not searching for the source.
But yes, we do have a good relationship, and he is actually a great kid, as is my youngest. Then again, what mother doesn’t say that?
His foam sword is perfectly natural. If it starts to look like a big foam hand/finger combination, he has problems.
Good point. I guess I should see the silver lining–even in a mock penis.
And there’s the slug line for your novel!
And that it is. You should really consider PR or marketing work. Your ideas are sound.
I also like the word ‘wiener’ – it has a novelty to me that is quite hilarious.
That it does.
Hahaha…despite the fact that I can never relate to your kid stories…they never fail to crack me up!
Oh, your time will come… Maybe not from your own, if you don’t go down that path, but surely from the kids at camp. Weren’t you a counselor for a kids’ camp?
haha…I put my three days worth of work in at camp and will NEVER do that again!
Ahh, the kids loss, I’m sure.
See, if he were playing real football (or soccer, or concussion-lite) you wouldn’t have to worry quite as much! Also, foam sword scams – classic!
I don’t know why, but I can imagine you with a room full of fake swords, too, though I’m sure you’d never pull such a trick on your girlfriend. I believe sausages or zucchinis are used for such trickery once a boy becomes a man…
And believe me, I agree with you: Americans have football named all wrong, considering there is only an occasional kick.
Great post. Your son is hilarious! Since I don’t have kids I’m not sure I can honestly say how I would feel about football. My first thought was let him play but then I wouldn’t want him to get injured either – tough call. I can imagine you in the stands cheering him on though!
How right you are! For all of my concerns, it was hard to keep the tears out of my eyes when I saw him in a game last year. Even if he did only play for a few minutes (he was just a freshman, after all). But for the record, as a proud cynic, I will deny any tears in the future if anyone should ask.
If he’s like 99% of young men, his football days will be over by the time he graduates from high school. He will then be qualified to watch football as a former participant and not someone who only ever watched. Coaches and trainers are FAR more concenred with concussions than they were back in my playing days – though I got more concussions from lacrosse than football – at least I think I did, my memory isn’t too good…what was I just saying?
Merry Christmas!
Thanks for a great laugh. I now have the image of you sitting in a chair, drooling, and wearing a Santa hat.
But apparently, despite your lacrosse injuries, you still maintain wisdom, because I suspect there is much truth in what you say. And you’re right. Coaches are much better aware of the concussion issue than ever before.
Seriously, I think I had 2 concussions from football and at least 4 from lacrosse. The helmets we wore in lacrosse were really flimsy. I never missed a game due to concussions and don’t recall seeing a doctor.
Then again, football season started in September, and anything before that was informal and mostly conditioning. My son played lacrosse and the coaches essentially wanted an 11 month commitment, including indoor lacrosse in the winter 30 miles away, and camps in the summer and fall ball. I played Division 1 lacrosse in college and we didn’t play as much as that!
Jeez, that’s actually kind of concerning. Kids are supposed to vary their athletic routine to avoid overuse injuries. Then again, given your profession, I doubt I needed to tell you that.
Same thing went for my daughter rowing crew. She was essentially 11 months of the year. She was doing it on a scholarship also for a division 1 school, but it was still overkill. Now she won’t get in a boat unless there’s a motor on it and cocktails.
A motor and cocktails–a dangerous combination, indeed.
The important thing is that you’ve inadvertently provided me with a choice of hats, however seasonally inappropriate.
Don’t rule out the sombrero just yet…
Ha ha! That cartoon was funny. I’m so glad my kids haven’t chosen football. Of course, having 3 daughters helped. My son almost chose it this year, but the love of futball (non-American, and actually played with a foot unlike American football where only one person uses their foot) won out. Sigh of relief. He also picked up tennis this summer and now thinks he should go pro. If only I had half that boy’s confidence and swagger, I’d have a national best seller. I hope your son continues to be concussion less.
Tennis and soccer–I could only hope. Of course, I suppose there are injuries with any sport. But good for your son for having “confidence and swagger.” I guess he’ll learn soon enough, and having those traits will help make him all the more successful. Funny how guys can get away with it but not so much women.
Guess you’re right. I usually hate girls with too much swagger (or maybe I’m just insanely jealous)
I can’t imagine you being anything of the sort. You’re my “joy in the moments” role model.
Well, this is one thing I don’t have to worry about! But it also means I have no words of wisdom to share. Football makes me cringe for so many reason, including all those studies showing how many head injuries there really are…. Yikes. I understand your concerns! Then there’s the whole jock culture that really isn’t very healthy. Oh, high school flashbacks….
Maybe you can hope he decides he doesn’t like it after all once he’s been at it another year or two….
And the occasional PowerPoint reminder slide show might not be a bad idea….
The funny thing is, my son is more academic than athletic. He’s never really pursued any sports. But he loves football. Runs a fantasy football league. Guess there’s a power in it I just don’t see.
I imagine you enjoy yourself a good PowerPoint presentation as well.
Good ones, yes. Sloppy or uninformative ones … not so much.
It’s funny to see the PP presentations my youngest puts together for school. He’s still at that age where weird font, bright colors, and endless animation mean a better slideshow. To the rest of us, it just means a migraine.
What’s sad/maddening is when adults think the same way!
Ha ha! You always make me chuckle.
can you link us up to that beige wall? Sounds interesting!
Good idea! That could be my next post. Nothing but an image of a beige wall. Very avant-guard. I like it!
My husband says football is character building, but I don’t see how. But now that I think about it, it is much like what my daughter is going through at Army Basic Training . . . physical fitness, endurance, team-building, and defending your goal. Huh? Maybe he has something after all.
My husband says the same thing, and I realize much of it is true. Just wish it could be done without the risk of concussion.
Hope Lake Tahoe is treating you well. You’re sweet to stop by here.
Concussion, dehydration, broken bones . . . not to make you worry more. Sorry!
Tahoe is lovely, but I had to stop by!
Of course I will allow my children to play football. They already spend a good portion of the day running into one another. There is a chance of injury in just about every worthwhile endeavor, but I believe the benefits of sports largely outweigh their risk.
What I plan to do as my boys get older is to transfer all my childhood dreams of gridiron glory onto them. That will give me the strength to push them fanatically into playing the sport their best at so that a s a middle-aged man I can live vicariously through their exploits, all the while pretending that they don’t resent me.
Wait. Are you sure my husband didn’t write this comment? It sounds awfully familiar…
And you’re right: injury can happen with any sport, and yes, there are many benefits to playing and working as a team. But with football, it’s the noggin I worry about. Just the fact that a sport requires pre-cognitive testing should say something.
I guess I just don’t get it. I blame my chromosomes.
I don’t think I’d want my kids playing football either, the risk of injury is so high. But on the other hand, I don’t know how easy it would be for me to say No, either.
They didn’t want to play baseball, eh?
I said “no” for months. Actually, years, because when they were little, I told my husband no way would they play football. But as I said, two against one. And sometimes we must keep the peace. Plus, relenting to something my son really wanted helps me for future negotiations.
My youngest has played baseball. Of course, with that, I worry about commotio cordis (that’s where the ball smacks you hard in just the right spot on your chest so that the heart stops). Oh, sometimes knowledge is a dangerous thing…
He sounds funny, and that’s a tall boy you have there. I hope to have a boy someday as I think I would enjoy everything he says and does. We would be best friends, really, because we would be kind of the same (minus the wiener).
Oh, yes, I believe you and your future sons will get along just fine. In fact, they’ll think you’re the coolest mom around. And really, who could argue with them?
Once upon a time, many years ago, I played some sports. My kids played in Jr. High but not high school. I remember being very worried about it too. THE dumbest thing I ever said ok to as a parent…and yes, I was outnumbered…was the trampoline. They survived but I still regret allowing that one.
Yeah, I pretty much ixnayed the trampoline early on. The only time they’ve used one was when they visited my brother. That’s also the same time I learned a woman who’s had two babies should NEVER jump on a trampoline…
Yes. The first time I jumped on it my husband tried to bounce me off. He’s mean spirited like that! No more of that for me. The tramp has been gone for years now. Whew.
Ha ha! Hmmm, pee my pants or get bounced off by my husband? Neither sounds appealing.
You should have explained to him that football is a complete misnomer when very little feet are used, or “catch, with shoulder pads” as it is often referred to in Europe. Oh well, what can you do? I think I will be happy if my lad does some sport when he gets older, hopefully not baseball, I’m not sure I could take hours of sitting through that.
Also what do you think of Falling Skies? My wife and I think it is total cheese, although we can’t stop watching it. I particularly like the way something happens in one episode e.g. the man in the hat goes mad for the afternoon, then it is virtually forgotten about the next episode.
I actually don’t watch “Falling Skies.” That’s my husband’s show. He seems to really like it. He also really likes “The Walking Dead,” which I know is supposed to be a great show, but I’m just not big on zombies.
And I hear you on the football thing. Doesn’t make sense to me why American football is called football when soccer actually uses the feet. Oh well, I don’t suspect that will change anytime soon.
How kind of you to include your baby’s content, lol. Then again, their thoughts are so uh…different (yeah, that’s it) than ours. Kind of glad mine wound up not going there –he was interested– but commitment is an iffy thing they get from dad–besides the marriage /family part. I mean, is there ANYTHING wrong with tennis? So much safer and the physique types so much more to my liking…
Such is the life of the mom of only boys. I know. I know.
Oh, if only tennis could have prevailed. As I mentioned to an earlier commenter, I was strongly against the “football thing.” But I was eventually worn down. And so far, he really enjoys it. I just hope he stays injury-free…
Thanks for coming by and commenting!
Anytime, Carrie. I try to promote the awesome physiques tennis players tend to develop but it’s not catching on.
You’ve got your hands full, no doubt. My husband happens to be a Physical Therapist and he is adamantly opposed to our sons playing football. He’s also refused to allow them to play on a trampoline, much to their dismay but with all the injuries he sees day in and day out, I can’t blame him! In fact, I fully support him. However, my oldest is determined to pull off any stunt he can on a bicycle – ugh! On the weiner thing, it’s a source of nonstop humor around this house – much to my dismay! But you know what? I wouldn’t trade being the mom of these two rascals for anything!
I made light in this post, but this “football thing,” as I like to call it, was a big debate in our home. Working in pediatrics, I really, really didn’t want my son playing the sport. I’ve seen too many concussions. But my kid rarely asks for anything and really wanted this. As did my husband, though he wasn’t as vocal about it. But I knew where he stood. I’ll admit it; I don’t understand the whole guy-team thing, but I finally relented. But only after making sure the coaches obtain baseline cognitive testing on the players and are aware of the dangers and take precautions as such. This is his second season, and luckily no injuries so far.
Yeah, I wouldn’t trade my boys either. They definitely make life interesting.
Your awareness and being hyper-vigilant about safety is the most important thing. Thanks always for a great post, and always giving us a laugh even with a serious topic
Thank you. And yes, wieners are serious business. (I know that’s not what you meant, but I couldn’t resist.)
Teenage son should be featured in his own post.
Possibly with baby pictures.
hehehe
But those adorable baby pictures would belie the beast that lies within.
I have to admit I’ve never doused myself in Chilli – Ice cream, yes, butterscotch sauce maybe, but never Chilli – nor do I believe I have ever been exposed to a foaming wiener, though I’d like to think there was still time…..
Foetid odours, hot dressing rooms, lots of shouting – ah, those were the days! (Actually, my honeymoon was a lot like that) but seriously, when will our Venusian partners ever understand us? We like that stuff! Team warcries, charging at one another like Ibexes – these are man things! My Bridge club wouldn’t be the same without them!
Wow, that’s one manly bridge club you have. I imagine in between hands, much stomping and grunting goes on. Perhaps you wear leather hides and carry torches as well? And you’re right: apparently, we double-Xs don’t get it, because my son responded to my phone text of concern and said he was having a great time. Was just “a little sore.” I can only hope he returns home full of scabs and skin cuts just waiting for a Staph infection like he did last year.
Thanks for dropping by and, as always, entertaining me with your comment!
We don’t do sports unless you count an all night marathon of sci- fi movies as “sport” Great post!
Well, if watching movies is a sport, then I am an Olympic champion!
Thanks for coming round.
Carrie,
As you know, my son skate(board)s. So far, a few scratches and bruises. The day will come, I’m sure…. where he will make me lose a few hair because of it. But that’s ok, even bald I’ll look magnificent.
As for blogging… My son seems to think it’s funny, although he asked me to revise his moniker… Another survey, I guess.
Le Clown
So the little guy is already making blog demands. Good to see. Of course, I would expect nothing less from the son of Le Clown.
And for sure, Le Clown would still look good bald, although the tuffs of hair at the sides of the head can be difficult for anyone to pull off in a dignified manner.
Neither of my boys got into skateboarding. I imagine you will get a little nervous at times. But I’ve seen the photos. Le Clown has his son well-insulated from falls (helmet and pads and stuff). Of course, getting a teenager to wear the gear will be nearly impossible, but at least your son will have solid years of practice under his belt by then.
Thanks, as always, for stopping by. I know you have lots to catch up on, so a visit from your clown face is much appreciated.
Carrie,
A post from Le Carrie is a mandatory visit from Le Clown. Don’t argue with me (that’s my new motto).
Le Clown
I can live with that.
Six-foot “babies”: all groans, moans, farts and belches.
Memories are made of this? Really?
Yes.
Really.
Ha ha–you’ve described a teenage male perfectly. At least my own, anyway. Something tells me you have, or you are, raising a son?
Been there. Done that, Carrie. My 6’4″ turned 39 this year. Geez…saying that out loud makes me feel ancient! Some male traits, however, never grow-up…i.e., moaning, groaning, farting and belching… continues…be warned. The best part? There is a best part…he’s doing all of the above in California.
I live in Oregon.
You are so right about the never growing up part. My husband joins right in on the fun. I love all my boys, but sometimes a little extra estrogen in the home would be nice. And more pleasant smelling.
