I’ve never once used a writing prompt. Perhaps that’s obvious, but I’ll ignore the insinuation and move right along, because one of WordPress’s daily prompts recently caught my attention.
Take a complicated subject you know more about than most people, and explain it to a friend who knows nothing about it at all.
Oh my, oh my, oh my. Ain’t we got fun?
Folks, I think you know where I’m headed. Get out while you can, because we’re trekking to old people, ear wax, and poo land. All in the name of science.
Oh, My Nose!
Ever wonder why Tommy Lee Jones has ears the size of Texas? Well, although our bones stop growing after puberty, our cartilage most certainly does not. Those hardy little cells keep right on dividing, blessing us with over-sized noses and ears. And as if that weren’t cruel enough, like breasts and scrota, gravity leads to droopage, until eventually every quadrant of our body is sweeping the floor. Thanks, Mother Nature; you’re sweet.
Ear wax. Fun stuff, isn’t it?
In the body’s protective attempt to keep debris away from our eardrums, it manages to fill the ear canal with debris. Say what? The wax-producing sebaceous and apocrine glands are housed within the skin of the ear canal, and together they efficiently pump out cerumen. Toss in a bit of discarded skin, and voilà! A nice collection of ear wax awaits. If you’re lucky, this self-made paraffin will work its way out. If you’re not, well, hello petrified driftwood, especially if you carry the recessive gene for dry wax.
What’s that stuff made of?
Like the earth, fecal matter comprises mostly water. But unlike the oceans, that water isn’t for swimming. With all the dead and living bacteria, undigested food residue (fiber), leftover junk from the junk food our bodies refuse, cellular debris, fats, minerals, mucus, and liver-detoxified crap, it’s best to stay shore side.
Why’s it brown?
The iron in our poo shacks up with the yellow-orange pigment of bilirubin, which travels to the intestines after our red blood cells die. But don’t mourn their passing; those little hematologic discs didn’t die in vain. After all, once this iron-bilirubin fusion combines with our crap, they’ve helped form a nice chocolate package.
But why’s it so smelly?
Those intestinal bacteria harbor most of the blame. Their generated gasses just plain stink. Especially when we tempt them with spices their wee parts aren’t used to or expose them to artificial junk and chemicals. So go ahead, enjoy that spicy frozen burrito in a box. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Oh, come on, did you really need to go there?
One more tidbit before I depart, and I apologize in advance. But hey, no secrets between us, right? There are some in this world for whom feces triggers sexual excitement. Coprophilia it’s called. Take that word and run with it, why don’t you? It might just be WordPress’s next prompt of the day…
Do you use writing prompts? Do you think WordPress will ever let me use one of theirs again? Have I ruined your appetite for the day?