Doctor Who? And Other Foolishness

After my last post, I owe you a short one. Yes, go ahead and do your happy dance.

Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art

Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art

Sometimes names fit occupations like spandex fits skin. In fact, the correlation makes one wonder: Do individuals choose a vocation because of their names?

The following are examples of physicians I—or acquaintances—have encountered.

Dr. Go, a gastroenterologist. Self-explanatory.

Dr. Sharp, a surgeon. Ditto.

Dr. Seaman, a urologist. (Hehe, semen, hehe…)

Dr. Urich, another urologist.

The name itself (pronounced Yer-ick) is not so unusual, nor the fact that he toiled as a pee-pee doctor. But when one considers he named his two daughters Ann and Polly, the chuckles begin. And the cruelty. Why?

Anuric (i.e., Ann Urich) means the inability to urinate. Polyuric (i.e., Polly Urich) means the excessive production of urine.

Well, at least the two sisters balance each other out.

Dr. Hacker, a general practitioner.

This physician introduced himself to my postpartum sister like this: “Hi, I’m Dr. Dick Hacker, and I’m here to do your son’s circumcision.”

Bazinga!

How about you? Anybody you used to know whose name matched their occupation? Or perhaps their character?

Note: The reason this post has Foolishness in the title is because today is a certain blogger’s birthday, and many of us want to give this cool Guap his due props. Happy Birthday, El Guapo! Hope it’s a good one!

My best birthday treat ever…

My best birthday treat ever…

226 Responses to “Doctor Who? And Other Foolishness”

  1. The Hook

    What about a bellman named “The Hook”?
    After all, bellmen are always fishing for tips…

    Like

  2. ParentingIsFunny

    Those are free real? Really? How awful! Especially that he named his daughters Ann and Polly. That’s too mean! I knew a Sgt. Savage once. Ouch!

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      They definitely are for real. Scary, isn’t it? And you’re the second person I’ve encountered here who knew a Sgt. Savage. :)

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

      • clintessential

        I just joined. Your sense of humor made it easy. I also belong to theonlinebookclub which is better for your membership. I like
        your style of care giving: humor is always the best medicine.

        Like

        • Carrie Rubin

          Thank you! That’s so nice to hear. I’m thrilled you made your way over here, and I appreciate you taking the time to comment. Have a happy New Year’s!

          Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      I know! The names people mentioned were great, thereby confirming my suspicion that some people choose their occupation because of their names. ;)

      Like

  3. Kourtney Heintz

    LOL That is AMAZING. I knew a family who named their daughter Thankful. I always wondered if she was or if it made her really selfish. ;)

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      I bet that poor girl never hear the end of it. And each time she heard a joke at her expense, she probably had to smile and pretend it was the first time she’d ever heard it. Because, of course, that’s what thankful people do…

      Like

  4. 4amWriter

    There is a woman at my kids’ school who deals with the misbehaved and naughty children. I don’t actually know her title; she’s not the guidance counselor. Anyway, if a kid acts out in class or on the playground, the child is sent upstairs to “Mrs. Paine.”

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      If that’s not incentive for good behavior, I don’t know what is! A couple other commenters have known a Mrs. Paine. Seems to be a popular name among teachers. ;)

      Like

  5. Pat

    My friend Mrs Kitchen was the school cook.
    Nice post. I think names are wonderful and often show a marked lack of imagination and forethought on the part of parents who do the naming.
    I once knew a guy called John Johnstone and someone with the surname Green who called his daughter Teresa.
    And not quite the same thing, but we used to have a solicitor whose signature looked remarkably like ME scrawled across the bottom of the page. His initials were DJP, so no idea how he got there.

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Mrs. Kitchen for a cook. Perfect. And I’m all for originality when naming children, but not for names that will ultimately embarrass them. I wanted to name my son Billy, but my husband wouldn’t hear of it. Why, I’m not sure given Billy Rubin is a perfectly acceptable name if one knows nothing about bilirubin… ;)

      Like

      • Pat

        Hmm not sure about Billy Rubin, although children would be the worst offenders and I don’t suppose they would know much about it.
        Used to know a doctor who called his boat Midstream Specimen…. Good job a boat can’t be embarrassed. :-)

        Like

  6. Joanna Aislinn

    Granted, we inherit our surnames. I just wonder though, what are people thinking when they name that child? I believe I once heard about a girl named Mercedes –yep–Benz. That’s the best I can contribute at the moment.

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      I’ve actually encountered a Mercedes Benz, too. It does make one scratch the old noggin. I think I’d rather be a Eunice or Gertrude than a cheesy name like this. :)

      Thanks, Joanna!

      Like

  7. Christi

    When I was a kid, my mom had a chiropractor named Dr. Bender. We always got a chuckle out of that one.

    In terms of other names, when I was teaching, one of the girls who always seemed be in lunch detention was named LaVoujinee (pronounced Luh-vah-juh-nay, very similar to that part of the female anatomy). A teacher friend of mine in another part of LA had a student named Passion Pounds, and unfortunately this girl was a pretty big girl. Another teacher friend of mine in Baton Rouge had two students who were brothers named Orangejello and Lemonjello. The crazy part about the brothers is that if you google it, it will say it’s a hoax, an urban legend, but those kids were actually in his HS science class. I wonder if their mom got the idea from the urban legend…

    Great post!

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      I don’t get why parents give their kids such horrible monikers. Would they want names like that for themselves? Orangejello and Passion Pounds. Maybe they ended up together. :)

      Love Dr. Bender though. Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

  8. BuddhaKat

    Hi… my current gastroenterologist’s name is Dr Go… but it isn’t any fun telling people that cuz they have no idea what a gastroenterologist is!!! Thanks for being the one to get my humour!!!
    I’m sorta browsing the foolishness foolishness – I’ll probably never get to them all, but it is helping to reinvigorate my blog hopping skills – I’ve been very busy of late and reduced blog hopping was one of the unfortunate consequences! I like your blog and think I might come back, if I may!
    I won’t wish EG happy birthday again – he might think it’s next year already!
    nice to meetcha…
    :)
    janet

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Nice to meet you, too! Thanks for stopping by. It’s always nice to see a new face. And it’s funny that you also have a gastroenterologist named Dr. Go. It really is a well-suited moniker for that profession and much more pleasant than Dr. Poo. ;)

      Like

  9. robincoyle

    Look at all the comments here!

    When I was growing up, my mom’s doctor’s name was Dr. Comfort. She loved that. On a related note, I grew up with a kid named Bob Bug. He went on to be an entomologist. How fitting.

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Okay, now that’s just what I’m talking about. Bob Bug an entomologist? It’s like he was drawn to the profession–it’s not exactly a popular one. Weird. And I, too, would love Dr. Comfort. Bet he never heard the end of that one. :)

      Like

  10. Elliot

    I knew someone like this, but my mind is drawing a blank. Maybe I’ll remember later. The two kids names are brilliant though.

    Oh the Dr Coffin on the death certificate is also v good.

    Like

  11. notedinnashville

    Big D used to work for an unnamed insurance mega company as a manager of data quality for provider directories. In order to keep from losing his mind, he and co-workers would find doctors whose specialties matched their names. Of the few he can remember, Dr. Beaver was a gynecologist. He can’t remember the field Dr. Jacqueline Hyde was in.

    To compound things, any chance they got, they abbreviated group names such as Urology Associates: Ura Asso. There were names that were funny on their own too like Hanger Prosthetics.

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Men never grow out of those tendencies, do they? ;)

      When I wrote this post, I thought, wouldn’t it be horrible if there was a gynecologist named Dr. Beaver? And you and another commenter confirmed that such entities do exist. I don’t know if I could make an annual pap screen with Dr. Beaver without bursting out laughing. That’s pretty nasty.

      Like

  12. Kat

    Not to do with professions, but there are a few unfortunate people over here that have managed to name their children ‘Dick Kasolo’. Even as I type that, I can barely contain the laughter. In Luganda, ‘Kasolo’ basically means genitalia. The name is just so comically sad!

    In those parents’ defence, having English for a second language, they are usually not familiar with most English slang. So even if other people laughed out loud on hearing their son being introduced, they just wouldn’t get it, unless a more informed person explained. And then, Kasolo also means ‘small animal’. As in a creature of the animal kingdom that is small in size. Pun not intended, at all. :-P So perhaps it’s that ‘small animal’ meaning they were going for(?). I really should find out. I’ll have to ask my grandmother. She’s my go-to library for info/curiosities on the Ganda culture.

    We did, however, have a lecturer/medical doctor in med school that went by the surname Kasolo. Her first name was Josephine. That second name she probably took on in marriage, as it’s a boy’s surname only. Surnames are generally gender-specific for most cultures here. Gender and totem specific.

    Which reminds me, there’s an Admin Officer in Buganda Kingdom’s ministry of information that goes by the name Sam Dick Kasolo. Ha.

    Apologies for the very long comment. :)

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      No apologies needed. You managed to entertain AND educate me! I love learning about names. But as for Kasolo, I’m not sure which is worse to follow ‘Dick.’ Genitalia or small animal. They’re both embarrassing. :)

      I didn’t realize you were a physician. What specialty?

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

      • Kat

        Pleasure!
        :) I’m not a physician. I’m a pharmacist, only it so happens that over here, for students of Bachelor of medicine & surgery, Bachelor of Pharmacy, Bachelor of Science in Nursing (BSN), Dental Surgery (BDS), and Biomedical Radiography (BMR), we all have to go to medical school. The courses are taught in medical schools at a teaching hospitals. Diplomas for those courses are taught elsewhere in paramedical schools.

        For the first year, students of all those degree courses study as one. BSN, BDS, and BMR break off after year one, to study content specific to their courses. Pharmacy and Medicine walk together for the first two years, but the Pharmacy students concurrently get additional content/course units specific to their degree, physiochemical principles of properties, a bit of advanced Maths, making syrups and suppositories (loved that part!), the like. After those two years, the pharmacists then went their own way, save for the clinical ward rounds, during which they of course had to interact with their MBChB counterparts.

        Since histology, anatomy and all those cadaver dissections plus post mortems take place in first year, we all do it, in as much as a pharmacist is never going to perform surgery on anyone, not even a circumcision, lol. I’ll confess I dodged those post mortem classes. lol. I was thinking, really at this point they might as well just move me to the MBChB class! We disliked having those dissections imposed on us, but that’s the curriculum. Our cries of ‘do we really need this’ were met with ‘think of the health needs of our population.’

        Apparently, it was traditionally done that way because there was a time when the number of health care professionals was way too small, so the government wanted to make sure that whatever specialty of heath professional was available in a given place, say a village, they could have a specified ‘basic’ set of skills, should a medical doctor or nurse be unavailable. Set up a drip, perhaps, or know to avoid the sciatic nerve (and where it’s located, for that matter) should an emergency quinine injection be needed.

        And that’s the long and short of how I ended up in medical school, and how I met Dr Kasolo. (mostly the long, alas! Seems to be an illness of mine. The readers that came by for their dose of humour must hate me now ! :) )

        Like

        • Carrie Rubin

          Oh, no, this is fascinating to learn! Thank you for taking the time to explain it. Now that you mention it, I do remember you as a pharmacist. I think that’s a very smart way to train for the most part. Pharmacy is a critical part to medicine, and I always loved it when a hospital pharmacist would go on rounds with us. And now with the future possibility of targeting pharmacological therapy to specific gene types, this will become even more important.

          Thank you!

          Like

  13. whiteladyinthehood

    Great post and the comments were soo funny! I know some of these, too, but I’m drawing a blank.

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Yes, people had some great contributions to this. One of my favorite’s was Dr. Coffin. Apparently that’s the name of the doctor who signed a commenter’s ancestor’s death certificate. :)

      Like

      • whiteladyinthehood

        Saw that one! (It’s hard for me not to read your comments!) That one was GREAT! (I did see some paperwork once on a girl who had the name – Enya Rumpf….)

        Like

  14. harperfaulkner

    Just had to add: looking up my dentist’s phone number this morning and came across a big yellow page ad that headlined “Dentistry with A Gentle Touch” and, luckily for us and this post, the dentist advertising is, Todd Hammer! HF

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      See? Writers don’t need to make this stuff up. It’s just there for the taking! Does the dental practice not get the irony in that ad? Perhaps they should have thought of a different tagline. Then again, maybe his name is exactly WHY they needed to make it clear they use a gentle touch. ;)

      Thanks for another great morning laugh.

      Like

  15. aFrankAngle

    Alright Carrie … fess up … The names have got to be infinite legends. ;) … Oh … gotta love any tribute to Guapo! Well done … Hope you had a great day Guap!

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Oh, I wish they were urban legends, but they’re not. And some of the commenters provided me with even better ones below! JM McDowell had an ancestor whose death certificate was signed by Dr. Coffin. I mean, really, does it get any better than that? :)

      Thanks for including a link to my post in your latest entry, by the way. I appreciate it.

      Like

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