A Beautiful Contradiction

Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

You see, I’ve received the Beautiful Blogger Award by the witty, charming, and beautiful I Mayfly. This may or may not be her real name, but if it is, she has my sympathy. On the other hand, her parents have my stink eye.

The rules are simple. All I need to do is express my gratitude to my lovely insect friend (thank you, I Mayfly!) and pass the honor to other bloggers. For those of you who enjoy rules and order, I have included the award regulations at the end of this post.

Absent from these rules is any requirement I divulge personal information about myself, a gift for which we are all grateful. But I have to give you something, no? And since it won’t be my chocolate, I’ll need an alternative. And yes, I like to start sentences with conjunctions. And no, I don’t care if The Elements of Style tells me I shouldn’t. But yes, I do care what you think. So yes, I’ll stop if you want me to.

So what to do? What to do? What ties into the theme of beautiful blogger?

This could be me, but there's no chocolate smeared around her mouth, so it must not be. (Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art)

Got it!

The sexy/ugly game, of course!

Years ago, my sister and I enjoyed a sincere but cruel game of sexy/ugly. This involves naming a celebrity who’s ugly but at the same time sexy. A Google canoodle the other day assured me I wasn’t the only one to play this game, but my search was cursory. As a science gal, I never want to introduce bias.

I’ll admit, I hesitated about this post, because I don’t enjoy poking fun at others unless they deserve it. But then I realized the soon to be mentioned celebrities have armpit hair more important than me, and any hurt feelings generated by my adolescent musings would be more than compensated by their mansions, pool floaties, and well-dressed pooches.

So here goes. My list of sexy/ugly is:

David Bowie—Not only sexy and ugly but hip as well. A triple threat.

Angelica Huston—A face like a drag queen but sexy as hell.

Billy Bob Thornton—Introspective and he sports vials of blood.

Sandra Bernhard—An apt surname given that prominent proboscis and gap-toothed grin can both burn and make… (Oh, now I really apologize for that last one.)

Tommy Lee Jones—A younger Tommy Lee Jones, not the current Shar-pei version.

Image credit: dogbreedworld.net

Mick Jagger—Maroon 5 didn’t make a song about those gyrating hips for nothing.

Steven Tyler—Best. Accessorizer. Ever. Just stay away from that mouth. It’s big enough to eat you.

Sam Shepard—Rugged and manly. But don’t Google his 2009 mug shot unless you’re hankering for a shudder.

Joan Cusack—Hmmm, I guess I’ll let you be the judge on this one. Might be too mom-ish for some.

The Hangover Monkey—Come on, you know it’s true.

Image credit: mediagallery.usatoday.com

So there you have it. Evidence once again of an education gone wrong. The astute among you will notice the list contains more men than women (and believe me, I had to scrounge for those women) and too many lily-white visages. Might this be because ugly white men can make it in Hollywood easier than their less comely female and ethnic colleagues? I’ll skip the social commentary, but just saying…

So who are your sexy/uglies? If you are too dignified to answer, then I am interested in your opinion on solving the U.S. health care crisis, a discussion on the fragility of the current global economy, or the solution to unsustainable oil production. What’s that? You’ll stick with the sexy/ugly? Thought so.

*     *     *

The rules for the Beautiful Blogger Award are:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award
2. Paste the award on your blog
3. Link the person who nominated you for the award
4. Nominate your choice of bloggers
5. Post links to the blogs you nominated

As you can see, there is no specified number of victims to pass the award on to. Therefore, I gift it to everyone. Feel free to accept it and paste it onto your own blog or not. A cop out, you say? Perhaps. But such inclusiveness is my appreciation to everyone who has clicked my follow button. Because to me, that really is beautiful…

120 Responses to “A Beautiful Contradiction”

    • crubin

      I don’t know about that, but I do know I eat my share of them…

      Thanks, for stopping by Polly!

      Like

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