A Glass Half-Empty Stroll

Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art

I’m edgy. No word yet from my editor. Plenty of conversations with Mr. Nasty Pants, my self-esteem damaging imp. And not sure what to post about. Certainly not my angst about the aforementioned absent editor, because nothing’s more annoying than whining.

I know. I’ll listen to music. The first song I hear on my iPod’s shuffle will lead me to Monday’s blog topic. Brilliant.

And the winner is:

Cough Syrup by Young the Giant.

Well, now, that won’t do. Who wants to read about cough syrup? I suppose I could post about those money-making, useless, cough and cold medicines that send 7,000 children a year to the emergency room, but rants of any kind aren’t pretty. Just ask Mel Gibson.

Onto inspiration plan B. I’ll go for a walk. Like the blogger, Char, I’ll find Joy in the Moments. The woman takes blissful strolls, photographs beautiful flowers, and revels in gifts of nature. I will emulate her lovely mindset.

Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art

Outside, the setting sun warms my pasty skin; the birds chirp and chatter; a neighbor waves a friendly hello. Aww. Joy in the Moments. Just like Char.

But eww. What’s that smell? Good god, a dead skunk. Great. Now I’ll reek for the next ten blocks. Oh, and what’s that? Why, that would be a dog taking a dump. Right in front of me. That’s swell.

I’m trying, Char. I really am.

Okay, Carrie, focus. Ooh, look at that lovely flock of geese in my neighbor’s yard. See? This is just the type of nature moment Char would notice!

My neighbor’s visitors.

But despite my best intentions, this is what I notice:

Wow. That’s a lot of goose poop on their sidewalk.

But hey, check out that car. Its license plate’s first three letters are CSU. Ha ha. Crime Scene Unit. Good one, Carrie. Hmmm, I wonder when my DVD of last season’s Dexter will arrive. Could a serial killer really be that kind and good? Maybe he…

Stop it, idiot girl. You seek inspiration for a post, not bloody crime scenes.

And that’s when I stumble upon it. Something even a dark-hearted, cynical, Dexter-loving soul like me cannot taint. Look at this homeowner’s tree. Quaint, cute, and clever, all in one bark-covered package.

My glass half-full neighbors.

That’s it. The answer is in the trees. May their majestic presence seed my inspiration. May their sheltering branches protect me from blogger’s block.

Lighter than helium, I press on, passing tree after magnificent tree. I’m doing it, Char. I’m doing it! The glass is half-full. Look at me world, my cup runneth over!

But alas, all good things must come to an end. Especially when one encounters this cruel trick of nature, planted most certainly for me and my half-empty view.

Two blocks from my house, I kid you not.

That majestic tree just gave me the finger.

What about you? Are you a glass half-full or half-empty? What spurs your creativity? Have you ever been flipped off by a tree?

133 Responses to “A Glass Half-Empty Stroll”

  1. philosophermouseofthehedge

    Oh, too funny to miss! Thanks for the heads-up.
    My neighbors have those tree faces (no arms).
    We deal with sea gull dropping on sidewalk…(most of the egrets have moved on since they cut all their roosting trees on the island.)
    Who says Mother Nature is letting us off free?


    • crubin

      Thanks! For a glass half-empty person, I’m actually pretty upbeat about it and am always grateful for what I have. But it is strange where my mind takes me sometimes.


  2. Anastasia

    Which is it if you think “the glass is *only* half full?” Lately all I can see (outside my own apartment) is everything wrong with everything. Once at home, everything is lovely and in control and logical. Outside, chaos. Is is possible all your feces related obstacles are your subconscious indicating the need for more/less fiber?😉


    • crubin

      Sorry to hear there is chaos outside of your home. And sorry, but thinking the glass is ONLY half-full probably lands you in the glass half-empty category.

      Believe it or not, my fiber intake is actually quite good. I think the potty humor is the result of living with three doses of testosterone daily.


  3. IGJ

    Hey, the tree topped off the walk. That’s a great beginning for your next book. “when I suddenly looked down and saw. . . .”


  4. raeme67

    But my whole blog is about ranting and often times it turns into whining!- It ain’t pretty but that’s what I do!

    Funny post as usual.


  5. subtlekate

    Grumbles at the editor on your behalf. I hope it’s soon. In the mean time, more scary trees please.


    • crubin

      Thank you. And if on my next walk, a tree throws a branch at me, I’ll know I’m in trouble.

      Thanks for stopping by. I hope you’re doing okay.


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