Return From The Allure Of The Seas

Let’s start today’s post with a question.

Where does one go to:

  • Eat his or her own weight in food?
  • Drift over Haitian beach water, sprawled upon a communal, microorganism-rich floatie mat?
  • Witness slightly pudgy performers in sparkling polyester pants belt out show tunes?
  • Shell out 65 cents a minute for Internet access?

The monstrous Allure of the Seas. I’m happy to report it floats.

If you guessed a cruise ship, then I have a lovely, rubbery, likely-made-in-China, Royal Caribbean key chain for you. In fact, I’ve got two of them. I also have a Royal Caribbean pen, highlighter, wallet, and miniature fanny pack. How did I collect such priceless booty? Apparently, my brain houses a valuable collection of music and movie trivia facts. Too bad those same neurons don’t summon a recently introduced name or the image of what I walked into a room to get.

So, yes, I’m back. Over-stimulated. Overfed. Over-tired. Over-peopled. And over-cheesed.

What? You didn’t know Mr. Rubin was a Mayan warrior?

But cheesy or not, I loves me a cruise. And this time I savored the tacky not just with immediate family, but with extended family as well. And for those of you who’ve traveled with a large group of people, no further words are necessary. But it was all good. Sharing a vacation with my family was a dream come true, and I’ve got a past life of bug-infested apartments, empty cupboards, and endless waitressing and restaurant-cleaning shifts to prove it.

But now I must get back to work. I have line edits to finish. I have book covers to confirm. I have copyright registration to explore. I have blogs to visit. I have e-mail to catch up on. I have Twitter to reconnect with. I have…

Okay, now I just have a headache. But once the pain subsides, I’ll re-infiltrate your blogs. Like mold in your wall, I’m tough to eradicate.

And sorry—I’ve decided not to share my Royal Caribbean key chains after all.

Pointless junk is so hard to find.

A sampling of my Royal Caribbean trivia wins. Nothing says cool like a tiny backpack fanny pack.

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