Kindlegraph And Offal

Today, I offer a bit of dignified and a bit of crap. I can’t stay away from the latter—not with the testosterone overload in my home—so if you’re bored with my dignified, stick around for my crap.

Wish my blog content was as poop-free as this colon. (Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art)

The Dignified

A big thank you to author Audrey Kalman at Writing of Many Kinds for introducing me to Kindlegraph,  a website that “lets authors send personalized inscriptions and signatures (‘kindlegraphs’) directly to the electronic reading devices of their fans.” In other words, if you’ve purchased an e-book (doesn’t have to be a Kindle book), and if the author has registered with the site, you can contact that author by clicking “Request Kindlegraph” under his or her book on the website. The author receives the autograph request and can send a personalized message back to the reader, which the reader can then file away in his or her Kindlegraph collection.

If you’re interested in learning more about the process, click here for their short video or click the following: Kindlegraph FAQ.

The program is young, but what a cool idea (drawback: it appears you need a Twitter account to sign in).

Don’t you love innovative minds? Wish Kindlegraph was my baby. Instead, I spawned this…

The Crap

I didn’t know my eggs had it in them. Must be the sperm. (Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art)

During Monday night’s dinner, I erred by asking my male offsprings’ opinions on a potential hook line for The Seneca Scourge, in case I wanted to place a Google or Goodreads ad. To their credit, my boys did help create the following, which I thought was catchy:

The Seneca Scourge—Read this book and you’ll never skip your flu shot again.

But the brainstorming did not end there. Instead, it morphed into another frenzy of Awful Offspring Offal.

Allow me to share my teenager’s less helpful suggestions for my potential ad campaign:

  • The Seneca Scourge—Read this book and…

you’ll never get gonorrhea again.

  • The Seneca Scourge—Read this book and…

you’ll never crap blood again.

  • The Seneca Scourge—Read this book and…

you’ll drastically enlarge your man meat.

Oh yeah, welcome to my world…

I assure you, my boys are respectable, polite, and well-mannered. They treat their mother well. But what’s with those adolescent male frontal lobes? Does a neuron thread straight to the perineum? What do your kids pull at home? Or if you prefer, what’s your catch phrase for my book ad (it doesn’t have to be nice…)?

150 Responses to “Kindlegraph And Offal”

      • susan sheldon nolen

        Sounds good in theory! I would like it from some of my fav authors.

        Like

        • Carrie Rubin

          I noticed the author of the “50 Shades” books is on there. Can’t imagine she actually sends out Kindlegraphs to everyone. She’d never get anything else done!

          Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      You’re welcome. I know that if I’m ever short on topics to blog about, my boys will come to the rescue…

      Like

  1. Joanna Aislinn

    Love the Kindlegraph idea and need to check that out. (I might be in need of a personal day just for catch up online soon.)

    As per boys and frontal lobes: hmm. Any mother of boys only knows that is an experience like no other. And husbands don’t help. Luckily, anything I’ve gotten called into the principal’s office for wasn’t terrible. Somehow, the significance of teaching one’s son to stick wet toilet paper to the ceiling was lost on me. (Maybe not the male principal though–he just probably couldn’t show his approval on that one.)

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Haha. Well, I guess I should consider myself lucky that neither my boys nor I have been summoned to the principal’s office. Luckily, they save that sewage talk for home.

      Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Yes, sadly, he often joins right in with the boys. It’s a testosterone thing.
      :)

      Thanks for the comment!

      Like

  2. butimbeautiful

    Read this book and learn to love the next pandemic? Read this book and earn squillions from home. Really! I think your sons are healthier than my son, all he thinks about is politics and money.

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Should I be embarrassed I don’t know what squillions are? But I love your hook lines, anyway! My oldest also talks politics and money and is really quite worldly for a teenager, but the sewage talk remains.

      Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      I do, and they keep me entertained. Thanks for stopping by. I didn’t expect to see you in your post Freshly Pressed high.
      :)

      Like

  3. Elliot

    Will it be naughty to say I liked the Offal part more than the autograph thing. I’ve never completely understood the autograph thing anyway, although I suppose it can be kind of cool. The offal on the other hand…

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      I pretty much assumed everyone would like the offal part better. There is an adolescent male in all of us, I’m sure…

      Like

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