I Won’t Have What She’s Having

Caution. This one’s a gross out. But if you’re looking for calorie suppression after your turkey feast, then by all means, read on.

My last post hinted at the culinary delight of discovering hair in one’s food. That led my brain down an undesired pathway. What other gross things have I found in my fare?

I won’t bore you with the times I’ve spotted a hair nestled in my solids and sauces—that flowerbed’s already been trampled. Instead, I will impress you with other fine finds. Impressive not only because of what I’ve discovered, but impressive because I’m still able to eat.

Is That An Ice Crystal In Your Shake?

As a college student, I didn’t own a car, which in North Dakota can prove challenging. Therefore, I rode my bike everywhere, for as long as the weather would allow. Beyond that, it was the bus and the kind acts of my work buddies, including my future husband, who was undoubtedly my favorite ride.

In the summer, after a long biking trek across town, I’d often treat myself to a Dairy Queen. One day, while hot and sweaty, the need for a vanilla shake consumed me. After paying for my frozen delight, I leaned against my bike and sucked and slurped until the last drop. But in that last drop, something tickled my tongue. An ice chip, perhaps? But ice would dissolve in the heat of my mouth, wouldn’t it? This tiny morsel did not.

I spit the bit into my palm. Well, what do you know? A fingernail! Maybe from the Dairy Queen herself.

Hey, I Said No Black Olives!

During my residency, my husband and I maintained our strength by consuming large amounts of Mexican food. We couldn’t get enough of the stuff. But while we both fancied burritos with all the fixings, Mr. Rubin declined the black olives.

On one occasion, however, an olive slipped into his tortilla. Or at least, what appeared to be an olive. If olives have wings, eyes, and legs, then an olive it was. If they don’t, then my dear husband almost swallowed a fly.

Something For Your Boo Boo?

Other than a butt-load of calories, one wouldn’t think chicken Marsala and mashed potatoes would be dangerous. At least I didn’t think so when I ordered the dish off the menu one day. But apparently they are, because my entrée came with a safety net. In the form of a band-aid.

Well, wasn’t that thoughtful? Who cares if it was already used?

Would you like some pus and bloody discharge with your potatoes?

Bon Appétit!

What fun items—living or otherwise—have you found in your food?

All images from Microsoft Clip Art

196 Responses to “I Won’t Have What She’s Having”

  1. Feeling Crabby? | Diane Henders

    […] months ago one of my blogging buddies, Carrie Rubin, wrote a post about gross things she’s found in her food.  But after commenting with a list of the various disgusting things I’ve discovered on my […]

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  2. arjun bagga

    I’ll have to make you my new habit. You trigger a hundred new ideas to think about, if not your posts are fun to read. You are the finger nail in my icre-cream, I’d love to discover. OOPS…

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Haha. Trust me. You do NOT want to discover a fingernail in your ice-cream. I suppose it could’ve been worse. It could have been a toenail…

      Thanks!

      Like

      • arjun bagga

        HA HA HA…it was kinda OKAY to imagine a finger nail, the maker watching a baseball match biting his nail, churning the icecream, toe-nail? Can you picture that?!

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  3. susan sheldon nolen

    Oh my gosh, I just closed the computer screen after the fingernail bit..how awful!!! I have only had the misfortune of an odd hair in food and nothing worse than that. But I was at a Japaense restaurant when something ran over my hand. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched a cockroach race up and behind a framed photo. Lunch was over at that point@ never been back either!

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    • Carrie Rubin

      Eww. Don’t blame you. I am definitely not one of those people who could eat at one of those new-age dark restaurants. You know, the ones where it’s pitch black inside, and the waiters wear night vision goggles? I’d be far too worried about what’s lurking in my food not to be able to see it…

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  4. Ashley Austrew

    The blog looks great!

    UGH to all of those. God, I don’t think I could ever eat again after that. A used band-aid?? That should be illegal.

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    • Carrie Rubin

      And so many people who commented have also found a band-aid in their food! Guess it happens much more than we realize.

      Thanks on the blog. Decided it was time for a change. 🙂

      Like

  5. 4amWriter

    Love the look of your new blog. Umm, glad I didn’t have a snack with me when I started reading this post. Those are pretty terrible stories. My question has always been why would a restaurant offer a replacement of the same food in these kinds of situations? Just take the offending item off my check and give me a free drink. A strong drink. Then I’ll keep my cool.

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    • Carrie Rubin

      That seems like the perfect solution! Even the offer of a free dessert could backfire, because the person would keep wondering what’s lurking in the creme brûlée. 🙂

      Like

  6. riainthecity

    Firstly, YAY for pretty new site! LOVE IT! ❤ Also, gorgeous picture annnnnd ewwwww! Gross but well written post! haha ❤

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  7. Ericka Clay

    So glad I haven’t had breakfast yet! And I once found a hair in my soup at a restaurant and tried to discreetly remove it and set the soup aside before my father and his weak stomach noticed, but it was too late. He ran outside to the front of the restaurant to yack in the bushes. Fun times!

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    • Carrie Rubin

      Good to know I am not the only one repulsed by such things. I once found a hair in my food early on in my buffet feast, and I could not take another bite. All my food went to waste, but I just couldn’t do it.

      Thanks for dropping by! I appreciate it.
      🙂

      Like

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