A week ago, the Rubins dined at a steakhouse even though the family matriarch (that would be me) doesn’t eat red meat. But I throw my husband and sons a literal bone every once and a while.
While waiting for our food, I whipped out my latest stash of Table Topics cards to stimulate thoughtful conversation. Hey, if you listened to endless penis and poo talk at the dinner table, you’d tote around discussion cards, too.
In fact, if they want to eat their reds, they better use their heads.
After a few duds, the following question surfaced:
What’s the most significant problem facing the world?
With male family members’ enthusiasm hovering near zero, each hungry Rubin answered in turn. Here’s what we responded:
- Me: “Poverty.”
- Mr. Rubin: “Nuclear proliferation.”
- Youngest teen son: “My brother.”
- Oldest teen son: “Ignorance.”
As all mothers would, I assumed my answer was best, though youngest teen son did get due props for originality. But later that evening, Mr. Rubin showed me an article from the Cleveland Plain Dealer highlighting some surprising survey results. Therefore, I removed my Table Topic’s tiara, bid it a tearful adieu, and crowned my oldest son.
Examine my fancy table to see why:
As a healthcare provider, the last one especially saddens me, but the shape-shifting reptiles (that’s almost 50 believers!) and anti-Christ president don’t lag far behind.
Then again, one must read the fine print and see that the results come from a telephone survey:
- Did the respondents answer in jest?
- Who picks up a landline phone anymore, anyway? Shape-shifting reptiles?
- And if humans do answer a landline, who participates in a survey? Certainly not me.
Instead, I write blog posts at their expense…
So, is oldest teen son right yet again?* Is ignorance our greatest problem? If not, what is? Stupid surveys?
*It should come as no surprise that in addition to penis and poo talk, oldest teen son enjoys philosophy.