Am I A Man?

Stereotypes bug me. If I have to listen to one more joke about women and shopping, my frozen smile might shatter into shards.

No one likes to be pigeon-holed. We are who we are. But there is some truth to stereotypes. That’s how the labels came about in the first place.

So now I’m wondering,

Am I really a man?…

Hmm, let's have a looksie... (Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art)

Hmm, let’s have a looksie… (Image credit: Microsoft Clip Art)

Reasons I Might Be a Man:

  1. I don’t like to shop. Let me repeat, I don’t like to shop.
  2. Action movies are my preference.
  3. I am the technology person in my home. Which is scary.
  4. I possess the remote control in my home. Which is Sheldon-y.
  5. I don’t like to talk about my emotions.
  6. Driving long distance entertains me.
  7. I prefer beer to wine.
  8. I kill bugs.
  9. Diamonds are not my best friend.
  10. I read thrillers.
  11. I don’t read romance, especially if Nicholas Sparks is involved.
  12. I don’t go to the bathroom in groups.
  13. Wearing the same clothes two days in a row suits me fine.
  14. I avoid pink and glitter, and I never ♥ anything.
  15. Horses have no emotional pull over me. None. Nada. Neigh.
  16. I don’t love footwear. Ugly man shoes, boots, and Jesus sandals rotate seasonally.
Eat your heart out...

Eat your heart out…

Reasons I Might Be a Woman:

  1. The last time I looked, I had lady parts.
  2. I have low testosterone.
  3. Even though I’ll kill bugs, I make Mr. Rubin do it if he’s there.
  4. A snake sighting would do me in.
  5. Skydiving, race-car driving, and bungee jumping hold no appeal.
  6. I am a wuss. (See #4 and #5.)
  7. Mr. Rubin bought me a nice handbag once. Now I rather enjoy them.
  8. I wear makeup and don’t feel complete without it.
  9. I gave birth. Twice.
  10. I love chocolate. Let me repeat, I love chocolate.
  11. I don’t wrestle.
  12. Bodily functions—auditory or otherwise—don’t amuse me.
  13. I want to comfort anything that’s hurting.
  14. Football is as important to me as fuzz in my pockets.
  15. I’ve never mowed a lawn. (Don’t make fun. I have cleaned urinals in a fast-food restaurant.)
  16. I like The View and Dr. Phil.
  17. I smell good. I think.

Phew, it looks like the double-X list is longer. I might be a woman after all…

On second thought...

On second thought…

Any stereotypes you break? Any movie or book clichés you hate? If you’re a writer, any stereotype traps you fall into?

286 Responses to “Am I A Man?”

  1. Lori D

    Ha, ha. This is funny. I relate to soo much of this, except, as you know from reading my memoir anthology, I love football. Just about everything else I’m totally the same as you except spiders. You’ll hear me scream from where you live if even a small one crosses my path. I do NOT like chick-flicks either. I despise shopping. Horses, nope, nada, neigh. Heh. I do not feel complete without make-up or my hair styled, and I’m head over heels for chocolate. Oh, and I’m totally into talking about feelings, mine, yours or the lady down the street. As my blog says, I’m fascinated with the human psyche. Working hard on my novel right now, which is all about emotions and growth, so I’m unable to blog much. It was a nice break to read this, and I’m all alone with my book these days so I’m blabbering a bit too much. 😛

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Haha, I know the feeling. Some days after so much solitude with my book, I feel like an alien at the grocery store.

      So essentially, if you swap out the football and spider thing, and add a bit of emotion-talk, we’re the same person. We could trade places. Just like Freaky Friday. (Oops. Does admitting I watched that put me smack dab in the woman column?…)

      Like

  2. whiteladyinthehood

    I like you Carrie Rubin (JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!) I think I can easily have more of a ‘man’s mentality’ a lot of the times and I’ve spent a good part of my life breaking out of stereotypes…
    and the girly-girl part of me wants to tell you – I have always admired your pretty hair!
    (lol)

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Ah, thank you. It is kind of girly hair. I’ve left it long and straight for years because I’m too lazy to give up the ponytail. 🙂

      Like

  3. Polly Robinson

    I am totally with you on a percentage to be determined [‘cos I’m not good at percentages] … we differ only on:
    1) I prefer wine
    2) I don’t kill bugs, I save ’em. No, Carrie, not for a rainy day, but I gather them between a card and a glass and release them into the wild. And, yes, I know that’s mad …
    3) I like horses – there is nothing like galloping on horseback, it’s the closest [I think] to flying, which I’ve also always wanted to do. No, not in a plane. As a bird – preferably an eagle 🙂

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      It appears I’m just a less sophisticated version of you… 😉

      I have been known to release spiders. After all, they eat those other bugs. But I’m less kind to the rest. Now, whenever I kill one, I’ll think of Good Polly and feel bad. For a little while, anyway…

      Like

  4. benzeknees

    I am so a man too!
    1) I LOVE football!
    2) I HATE shopping!
    3) I only own 1 pair of heels – strictly for wearing when necessity says I have to wear a dress (funeral, wedding, etc.) otherwise I wear clogs or black shoes like yours
    4) I like horror & detective books. I would prefer to watch Elementary than Revenge (hubby watches Revenge, not me)
    5) I hate cleaning & cooking!
    6) Hubby does have to kill bugs for me & snakes (even on TV) make me lift my feet off the floor.
    7) I have no problem wearing the same clothes more than one day

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Ha! I knew we had a lot in common, but now I’m convinced we’re the same person! Well, except for that football thing. But I, too, don’t like to see snakes on TV. I actually divert my eyes. I tell myself this will only make my revulsion worse, but I can’t help it. Hissssss….

      I watched Elementary last year but gave it up this year. I just don’t have time to watch everything I’d like to, so I put that one on the chopping block. Now I’m rethinking that decision. Has this season been good? Maybe I should let Castle go instead.

      Like

  5. Jilanne Hoffmann

    Yeah, I might be a man. I HATE shopping. I don’t care about shoes. I got a perfect score on my differential equation final in engineering school and then beat all those little boys to the #1 graduation spot in my class. I don’t like to talk about my emotions, and I can kill all kinds of creepy crawlies with the best of them, including snakes. Although I’d rather hold a snake if it’s not venomous. Science and road trips rock AND I avoid group bathroom excursions like the plague. I don’t do romance novels. I often wear the same clothes several days in a row to avoid having to do laundry, and I enjoy lifting weights.

    Here’s the clincher: I was just eating lunch while reading your post, and instead of getting a knife to push the final bits of food onto my fork, I chose to shovel the bits into my mouth directly from the plate. Did I really just admit to doing that? Oh, I am so male.

    And yet, I could care less about remote controls, the Three Stooges, car models, scatological humor, or most video games. I have all the appopriate female body parts that managed to give birth, albeit through C-section, and I cry while writing stories (my nonprofit clients) about real people who’ve gone through so much in their lives.

    So what’s a galfella to do?

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Best stereotype-buster ever! I love that you graduated #1 in engineering. So cool! Now, why can’t they put women like you on TV and in movies? It’s getting better no doubt, but even if they let a woman be smart, they still dress her in tight clothes with a plunging neck line. If I see one more medical examiner on TV show up to a crime scene in a tight red dress, a white pant suit, or coiffed in billowing hair that’s bound to contaminate the corpse and get blood and guts on herself, I might bury my head and never re-emerge.

      Thank you for giving me hope. For that, I’ll never tell anyone you shoveled food into your mouth. 😉

      Like

      • Jilanne Hoffmann

        Yes, that looks thing is a tough one. When I was working on a film for a medical school, all of the film’s subjects were brilliant women. It was interesting to hear one of the early reviewers wish that we could exclude a doctor who wasn’t “a natural beauty.” Her skin tone wasn’t even. Her teeth weren’t perfect. Her hair wasn’t coifed. Nevermind that the woman was a brilliant researcher who had brought tens of millions of dollars in research grants to the school.

        It’s endemic in our culture, although one of my female friends (born and raised in Italy) with a PhD in engineering says that it’s better here than in Italy. Teachers there even admonished her for having male handwriting because her cursive wasn’t rounded and she put the standard dot instead of little circle above the “i’s.”

        Have we come a long way, baby?

        Like

        • Carrie Rubin

          Oh, jeez, I’ve never used a circle instead of a dot above my “i”s ever. As for a less-than-attractive doctor, no one would think twice if it were a man. Apparently not so for a woman. Stuff like that used to boil my blood. I’ve gotten better in my older age. Now I merely steam and simmer.

          Like

  6. Aussa Lorens

    Ugh, Nicholas Sparks is the absolute WORST. There isn’t a gender/culture/people group in the world that deserves to be associated with him. Also– loving chocolate just means you have a soul, and souls are gender neutral.

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      I broke down and watched ‘The Notebook’ because people swore to me that even though I don’t like romance movies or books, I’d love that one (I never read the book). I did not love it. I thought it was sappy. But that’s just my opinion. Thank goodness there’s a wide variety out there so we can all like what we like. I just don’t want to be pigeon-holed into a certain category.

      I always suspected my soul was tied to my chocolate consumption. Good to have it confirmed… 😉

      Like

  7. Jen and Tonic

    Those middle boots in your picture are AMAZING. I want, badly.

    I have always wondered if I’m a guy because I don’t fit the stereotypical female type. I embody all of the things on your list, plus I’ll add that I love smoking cigars, and romantic comedies annoy the crap out of me.

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      The romantic comedies where the sole purpose is for the woman to get married drive me batty, but there are a few atypical ones I like. Wanderlust comes to mind, but that’s mostly because Paul Rudd made me laugh until I cried. It’s raunchy but really funny. At least I thought it was. Not everyone agrees.

      Well, if you’re a she-man, it appears you’re in good company with the rest of us!

      Like

  8. The Hook

    Well, I look like a narc, but while I’ve never tried drugs, I am not currently employed by the federal government’s drug enforcement agency.
    By the way, you’re ALL WOMAN, BABY!

    Like

  9. Anne Chia

    I kill bugs too, when they are not looking though. I jump out of my skin when they are on my skin and I am not anticipating it. Hmm who knows, I may be a man though because I generally don’t know how to ask for help with directions, and I can change a tyre. When something great happens, I do not squeal like a girl very often on these occassions, instead, I pump my fist in the air. Confuses everyone, the Xs and Ys all the same 🙂

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Oh, yes, squealing! That’s a great stereotype, and I should have listed it. Why in movies and on TV are women always squealing? I never squeal. It appears you don’t squeal. The women I pass on the street aren’t squealing. Hmm, time to let that one go, I think… 🙂

      Like

  10. mummylovestowrite

    I love shoes, read women’s fiction, have given birth (twice) and possess boobies.

    BUT – I too own the remote, have mowed lawns and traditional ‘romance’ stories make me shudder.

    I hope it is a balance of both. I am teaching my sons (eldest is nearly three), about cleaning, cooking and caring for babies (they have a toy vacuum and dolls) – as well as encouraging them in traditional ‘boy’ pursuits. My Hubby is all-man, but is the most hands-on Dad I know 🙂

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      I love that you’re teaching your sons those things. I try to do so as well. My oldest can make his favorite pasta dish now, and it’s great to see him self-sufficient. I wish more parents would teach their boys those things and vice-versa. Girls should learn about cars and lawn mowing and such.

      I’ll read some women’s fiction, but like you, I don’t like the traditional romance stories. I may have to check out the latest Bridget Jones book though. Those are pretty funny. See? Another sign I’m a woman. 🙂

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

      Like

  11. Psychobabble

    I haaaate being pigeon-holed according to gender norms. Interesting you should mention wearing the same clothes two days in a row, because I do that professionally every week. I hate doing laundry, and I don’t smell too bad, so why not?

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      I figure as long as the undies are clean, no big deal, right? It’s not like we wash our pants after one wear, so what does it matter if we wear the same pants two days in a row or on Monday and Thursday? Long ago I was an Au Pair girl in France, and the women there thought nothing of wearing the same clothes two, even three days in a row. If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for me. 🙂

      Like

  12. Cathy Ulrich

    I love science fiction, am as geeky as the next person and I’m not afraid of spiders or snakes. But…I love shoes, jewelry and yes, chocolate. Let’s just say, we’re both well balanced, Carrie!

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Being well-balanced is good. Especially for you on those hikes you take! (Snakes or no snakes…) I’m not a huge science fiction fan, but my youngest finally roped me into watching Doctor Who with him. I figured there weren’t that many years left that he’d want to watch something with his mother, so I’m sucking it up and enjoying the time together. 🙂

      Like

  13. iRuniBreathe

    You sound pretty balanced to me and know what side of the tracks you want to sit on. Even if you don’t like the neigh-thing, the chocolate one does you in as a sure marker.

    Like

  14. Pam Huggins

    I think the giving birth twice pretty much nails it… you’re a woman.
    Amazing how much detail you snaked out with these lists! I laughed right out loud.
    Interesting that your character Sydney also didn’t care for discussing emotions.
    I love to ride my motorcycle, I don’t wear make up, I’ve never given birth but my list would probably be a bit more toward the feminine stereotype than yours.
    Lastly, so nice to see Mr. Rubin playing along! Great pic.

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Thank you! I don’t usually put pics of my family in, but I figured he was well enough disguised. 😉

      There’s definitely some of me in Sydney, only magnified. And I was never as mean to my hubby as she was to Mitch. Can’t get through 25 years of marriage acting like that!

      Thanks so much for stopping by!

      Like

      • Pam Huggins

        You know, I didn’t think Sydney was mean to Mitch at all. I think he was too clingy and Sydney had no choice. Besides, she facilitated his future fame!
        I didn’t much care for the Mitch character until he believed Sydney as she told him about the future, etc.
        Uh… sorry. We were talking about stereotypes. 🙂

        Like

        • Carrie Rubin

          Oh good, that’s how I wanted it viewed. She led him on a bit and didn’t break up with him well, but he was needy. But all characters need some faults, so that was hers. 🙂

          Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Well, at a magic conference I took my son to, a guy did call them wild-cat boots, so perhaps you’re right… 😉

      Thanks!

      Like

  15. List of X

    I write jokes, so I have to love stereotypes: many jokes require a point of reference, and stereotypes provide just that. And these stereotypes don’t even have to be accurate, just as long as they aren’t too over-used. In fact, most of stereotypes are only partially accurate, at best, and it would be nearly impossible to find a woman (or a man) who actually fits every stereotype about women (or men).

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Absolutely. And I agree–humor is one place where stereotypes provide a lot of fuel. Think stand-up comedians. But even that can get old, especially if it’s the same old stereotypes we always hear, for example, dumb blonde jokes, stupid father antics, etc.

      Like

  16. nancytex2013

    I ❤ your post. I guess that means I'm definitely a woman. 😉 (…and I'm really, really hoping the heart shape comes out in this comment. In the case it does not, I reserve the right to make a replacement comment.)

    Like

    • nancytex2013

      See, it didn’t work. 😦
      Replacement comment follows:

      Carrie, I heart your post. I guess that means I’m definitely a woman. 😉

      Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      The heart shape does not come through. When I first started blogging, I couldn’t figure out what the less-than symbol and a 3 meant. I finally had to ask someone. Such a laggard I am…

      Like

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