Elf On The Shelf With Teenage Boys
Given I’m a laggard, I didn’t discover Elf on the Shelf until after Christmas last year.
The Who on the What?
From what I understand, parents hide Elfie in a different location each night. He then watches over the children the following day to assess their behavior. In other words, he spies on them. Every morning, the children search for the elf, revel in finding him, and don’t get creeped out by his espionage.
Having two teenage boys, I knew Elfie wouldn’t generate whoops and hollers, but for some inexplicable reason, I decided it would still be fun to get one.
We’ll take turns hiding him, I thought. See who comes up with the cleverest spot.
What an idiot.
As if my boys would be content with such sugar-coated nonsense.
Oh, don’t misunderstand; my sons shuffled around Mr. Elf, all right. They just added a little flair.
Warning:
What you are about to see might shock sensitive, elf-loving readers. It contains vile pictures and a complete disrespect for a beloved Christmas tradition. It is intended for sarcastic-minded viewers only. Rated PP for Poor Parenting.
Visual Holiday Awful Offspring Offal:
Things started out great. Sweet little Elfie arrived shortly after I ordered him.
Fortunately, given the genderless, red-felt crotch, the box spelled out what we otherwise couldn’t deduce.
Pleased with my purchase, I proudly displayed the emaciated pixie on a decorative urn and said to my sons, “Hide him somewhere clever. I’ll be the first to find him.”
Elfie’s Journey:
For the next few days, this is what I found:
And this:
Followed by this:
And finally this:
Oh, dear. Poor little Elfie. He didn’t stand a chance…
* * *
Carrie Rubin is a medical thriller author with a background in medicine and public health. For full bio and a list of her books, click here.
260 Responses to “Elf On The Shelf With Teenage Boys”
Carrie, should’ve known a superstar mom with a wicked sense of humor could’ve only birthed, awesome boys as well!!! Your home sounds like it would be a cheer~ful of seasonal laughter that never ends!! Lovin this more than I can tell you. I’ll be showing this to my teenage son Vincent, who I’m sure will feel completely deprived not having had his own chance to torture a Christmas Elf. As for your mischievious boyz…… They get an A+ for imagination an A+ for effort & an A+ for displaying the best Xmas~ spirit we’ve seen in many-a-year!! Luvin’ this & sharing now. 🙂
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Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. They are a lot of fun (in between the teenage eye rolls and grunts…), though I’m not sure Elfie would say the same. 😉
Happy Holidays to you!
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I am most thankful Elf was not around when my sons were teenagers, I am most afraid this is what I would have seen and it would have creeped me out.
I laughed uproariously when you found it and wrote about it though. Thank you.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays….whatever you prefer.
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I suspect my sons could have done much worse, but I’m glad they reigned it in a bit. My oldest said he probably figured I didn’t want Elfie decapitated. Ah, that’s sweet…
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to you, too. I imagine it will be difficult for you this year. I hope you can find some joy in it though.
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Sweet indeed, you have good sons.
I suspect it will be hard. I am trying not to think about it. I am grateful my sons are nearby. I hope I don’t moon about, it is times like this I wish I could just crawl into a bottle and drown my sorrows. Damned epilepsy.
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Well, hopefully your sons will help you drown the sorrows instead. 😦
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Thank you for writing which is quite good, best wishes always for writing and best wishes always and greetings, kindness blossoms in your heart
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Thank you. 🙂
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I didn’t know what the elf thing was until about…a month ago, to be honest. Maybe because I’d been avoiding social things for a few years (meaning no FB to see people putting the pictures everywhere).
I’ve gotta say…if I’d seen THESE pictures on FB……..I would’ve been much happier than I have been the past couple weeks.
Thanks for sharing. XD
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Yep, once we get that book out, we have to make ourselves so much more visible, don’t we? Even on Facebook. I’m with you on that one. I’m not as enamored with FB. Mostly because I don’t understand it. Twitter makes more sense to me. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by!
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I’m glad to see your kids have such a wild sense of humor! It looks like you have a lot of fun. 🙂
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That we do. Well, when my teens aren’t eye rolling and grunting, that is. 😉
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Haha!!!!!!!! Me and my husband had a magnificent laugh over this. Santa and Frosty are so menacing together. Who knew?
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Yes, they make a pretty scary duo, don’t they? Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it. Happy Holidays to you!
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Same to you, love!
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Your boys are hilarious. Have a great holiday Carebear. xo
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Thanks, you too, Wendy!
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At least it sparked their creativity. I try to look on the bright side…
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True, true. My kids don’t lack for imagination, that’s for sure.
Thanks for stopping by, Carol. I hope you have a great holiday season!
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The minute I saw the title to this post, I knew what we were in for. I just knew. Spooky, isn’t it? 😉
A friend of mine got me the Elf on the Shelf last year, thinking I didn’t want to feel left out of the latest craze. Please. Leave me out. I just can’t get into this tradition for some reason. But like a good mom, I followed through on my elf shuffling duty and the kids really do get into the idea of him sneaking all around the house, spying on us.
One of my cats really likes the elf. He’s had a fun time batting him out of his hiding places. It’s almost as bad as batting off the ornaments from the tree. But I digress…
Merry Christmas, Carrie! See you in 2014!
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You’ll have to get your camera ready and snap photos of your cat batting the elf around. You could create an Elf vs. Cat blog post next year. 🙂
You’re a good mom. I don’t think I’d have the patience to hide him every night for a month, so I like my kids’ version. They don’t hide him everyday anymore, but when I least expect it, there he is. Elfie is currently straddling the hatchet of one of our large soldier nutcrackers. Poor guy…
Merry Christmas to you, too, Kate!
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Too funny. Leave it to you, Carrie. And your boys. Hope you’re enjoying this Christmas and holiday season. I learned about said elf a few days ago too. You are not alone.
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I’m sure your own boys would have some fun with him, too. 🙂
I’ve reached the point where I pretty much have everything done for Christmas, so now I can just sit back and enjoy it. Yay! Merry Christmas to you, too!
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Thnx!
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Oh My Goodness! When I got to the first picture and he was holding a knife…..I have not laughed this hard in a long time!!! I adore your boys! They are hilarious! Merry Christmas!
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Glad I could make you laugh. Or should I say, glad my boys could make you laugh. 🙂
Most recently, I found Elfie strapped to the hatchet of one of our large soldier nutcrackers. Jeez, we have some violent Christmas decorations…
Merry Christmas to you, too! Thanks as always for stopping by. 🙂
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The last picture is my favorite! Those are some clever boys you have. I have a student who was telling me last year about her Elf. It took me months to figure out what the heck she was talking about. “So … it has batteries?” “No, Ms. Anita. It’s real!” I’m just glad I didn’t blow it by blurting out, “Ohhh, your parents are moving it (her)!” when I finally put it together.
Have a very Merry Christmas, Carrie! I’ll catch you on the flip side in 2014.
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Haha, batteries. Nope, this thing is about as plain as they come. 🙂
Merry Christmas to you, too!
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That last photo slayed me (and obviously, also Elfie). Your sons are twisted, and I mean that as a profound compliment.
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And they would take it as such. I was just telling the previous commenter that a few minutes ago I walked past one of our big nutcracker soldiers and saw one of my kids has draped Elfie around his hatchet. Nice.
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Very very nice.
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Ha ha … this is hilarious. Your boys are funny.
I think if I’d known about this little elf guy back when my kids were younger, I’d have started the tradition.
Have a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year!
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Yep, my boys definitely keep me entertained. I was just walking past one of our Christmas nutcrackers a few minutes ago and saw one of my kids had attached Elfie to the soldier’s hatchet. Ah, that’s sweet. Of course, why we have a big nutcracker with a hatchet is beyond me…
Merry Christmas to you, too! Thanks, as always, for dropping by. 🙂
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Jilanne sent me here after I did my own Elf post. And I see you are a Naught Elf Person. Good for you!
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Haha, yes, it appears that way. I’ll have to go check out your post when I get a chance. Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate it!
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Poor Elfie! Merry Christmas Carrie, enjoy the holidays and see you in the New Year
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Same to you!
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Us sarcastic minded bloggers find it hilarious. Have a fantastic holiday, Carrie, and good luck with Elfie.
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Thank you. Let’s hope Elfie survives the month. Happy Holidays to you, too!
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If I had to wear a giant red onesie with no feet, I too would turn to a life of crime and running with the wrong crowd.
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Haha, yes, I see your point. His down-slide is completely justified. No wonder we couldn’t find his ‘junk.’ 😉
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I shudder to think what will happen if elfie meets a stray barbie in the house…
marry xmas and happy new year, Carrie, to you and all of yours.
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Ha, good thing there are no Barbies to be found in this house. Well, I think there was a Doctor Barbie at some point, but she wisely evacuated during our spring cleaning.
Thanks. Merry Christmas to you, too!
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These caused more than one laugh! Well done … Happy Holidays to you and your family.
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Thanks, you too!
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