I have failed.
I have failed me. I have failed my limited inner circle. I have failed Mark Zuckerberg. For surely my auto-generated, year-in-review montage is not what the curly haired billionaire had in mind.
On no, what happened?
A couple weeks back as I scrolled through my personal* Facebook page, splendid month-by-month displays from friends and family members greeted me. Picture after picture, smile after smile, joy after joy.
“I must see my own!” I cried.
With staccato breaths and feverish fingers, I flipped to my montage and left-clicked my mouse. I could hardly contain my excitement.
And then there it was.
But there was no laughter. There was no flair. There weren’t even locks of Mark Zuckerberg’s hair.
There was only me stuffing my mouth with bread pudding. Twice. And my profile pic.
Oh, dear, such a sad little introvert.
In case you think I’m lying, here’s proof:
This jaw-dropping collection was accompanied by the words: “It’s been a great year! Thanks for being a part of it.”
Aw, you’re welcome, Mark. Glad I could help.
Hmm, perhaps I’ll do better next year…
Are you a pathetic Facebooker? Like me, are you drowning in a sea of social media? Can somebody toss me a flotation device?
*I’m happy to report my public FB page is not as sad. Almost, but not quite…
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