A Cookie By Any Other Name Would Still Soften The Bowels

Naming things can be difficult. I get that. Too little thought and we risk something dumb. (Like the title of this blog post.)

Still, when I come across a weird name, I think, Really? Is that the best they could do?

Let me show you what I mean.

Exploding Head Syndrome

Explosion image from flickr.com, public domain

Explosion image from flickr.com, public domain

Given my medical background, I could offer several oddly named conditions, but this one takes the cake. In Exploding Head Syndrome,  people perceive extremely loud noises when they wake up or go to sleep. Although nothing to scoff at, those symptoms pale in comparison to a literal explosion. Can you imagine receiving this diagnosis in the exam room?

Patient: “Give it to me straight, Doc. What have I got?”

Doc: “Oh, no worries. Just a little exploding head syndrome.”

Patient, blinking in stunned silence:

Doc: “Trust me, you’ll be fine.” Laughing. “We need a head like we need an appendix, am I right?”

The Kettlebell Snatch

A kettlebell is a cast-iron ball with an attached handle that’s used to build strength during exercise. Kettlebells come in a variety of sizes and poundage and are a nifty tool when you want a change from the standard dumbbell.

But when naming the different kettlebell moves, could they not think of anything better than “snatch”?

Image from flickr.com, public domain

Image from flickr.com, public domain (The caption and arrows were already there. Wrong gender aside, it’s like they did my job for me!)

For those of you who’d like to master your snatch, you can watch this video: How to Master the Kettlebell Snatch.

But please, don’t expect me to keep a straight face.

Climax, Minnesota

Having grown up a few miles from the North Dakota/Minnesota border (you betcha, don’t cha know?), I learned about this town at a young age. But even as a child, I knew something was amiss. When adults chuckle every time a town is mentioned, you know something’s rotten in the wheat field.

I’d like to give the city founders the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps the town originated before the word’s sexual connotation took off. But according to the Online Etymology Dictionary, the “orgasm” meaning was first recorded in 1880. According to Wikipedia, the town Climax, Minnesota was founded in 1896.

You do the math.

Original image from flickr.com, public domain

Original image from flickr.com, public domain

Cream Collon

This one shouldn’t really count, because it’s a Japanese treat, not an American one. But several years ago, my oldest son befriended a student from Japan. The two would get together at each other’s houses, which, considering my son is even more introverted than me, is a colonic delight in and of itself.

The boy’s mother was very kind, and whenever her son stayed overnight in our home, she’d send along a bag of Japanese goodies. Cream Collon was among them.

Tasty little critters, no doubt.

But perhaps best consumed with a toilet nearby.

Original image from flickr.com, public domain

Original image from flickr.com, public domain

How about you? Got any weird names to share?

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Rubin4Carrie Rubin is the author of The Seneca Scourge and the upcoming Eating Bull. For full bio, click here.

268 Responses to “A Cookie By Any Other Name Would Still Soften The Bowels”

  1. Kourtney Heintz

    It’s crazy the names that people come up with. My bff sent me a picture of a Japanese cookie called Couque D’asses. We laughed for a few minutes over that one.

    Like

  2. Linda Lee

    I’ve had problems with my head exploding, although not in the medical sense. Several years ago when I was new to the blogging world I decided to name my blog “I write to keep my head from exploding.” I actually paid to have that as a dot com name…. then after a few hours, when I came to my senses (the caffeine wore off), I asked GoDaddy if I could cancel my domain name and get my money back. I received a gracious reply saying that yes, I could do that, as it was within the first 24 hours — but would I kindly inform them as to why I did not want to keep my IWriteToKeepMyHeadFromExploding domain name?

    Thanks for liking my memoir post. When I saw that you had liked it, I also saw that I was no longer following you. How did that happen? Anyway, I am now happily following you again. I wouldn’t want to miss great posts like this!

    I used to live near Intercourse, PA. Did anyone mention that there is a town named Blue Ball not far from there? 🙂

    Like

    • Linda Lee

      Oh, sorry you have to moderate this. I am @LadyQuixote, now using my real first name and a fake last name as my pen name…

      Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Both Intercourse and Blue Ball have been mentioned. Can’t believe I didn’t know of either of them!

      And I don’t blame you for wanting to change that domain name. That’s quite a mouthful!

      Thank you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Kate Johnston

    How about Placentia, CA? My sister-in-law lives there. Do people really not think about this stuff when they decide to name things?

    Like

  4. frederick anderson

    Has anybody asked how long it takes to get from Intercourse to Climax? Worth mentioning I actually live in a town called Crook. Other local gems include Pity Me, Snitter, and Once Brewed (I don’t think they are talking about tea). Here in UK we have our Piddles, of course. The River Piddle, flanked by the village of Piddletrenthide, and the splendidly damp Puddletown.

    I awaken every day refreshed by the knowledge I am not a citizen of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwll-llantysiliogogogoch, a Welsh town famous for nothing other than its extremely long postal envelopes. And yes, alright, I copied and pasted that!

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      That Welsh town name is mind-boggling. I would hope they have an abbreviation for it. Can’t imagine writing that out as my return address!

      As for Pity Me, that’s quite a name too:

      “Where are you from?”
      “Pity me.”
      “Okaaaay…”

      Thanks, Fred!

      Like

  5. jeanjames

    I’ve yet to come across anyone with Exploding Head Syndrome thank goodness, but in Northern Manhattan the Inwood section we do have some funny names such as the corner of Seaman Ave and Cumming Street. (Ironically one of the Seaman decedents a Dr. Valentine Seaman helped introduce the small pox vaccine to America.) And these streets are just a few blocks from Dyckman Street. Funny Post!!

    Like

  6. earthriderjudyberman

    Thanks for the chuckles, Carrie. I’d have a tough time keeping a straight face, too, if the topic of Climax, Minnesota came up.

    How about Intercourse, Pennsylvania? Wikipedia says “Intercourse was founded in 1754. The community was originally named Cross Keys, after a local tavern. Intercourse became the name in 1814.” That’s one theory anyways. 😉

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Several other commenters have mentioned Intercourse, PA too. Not sure how I couldn’t have known about that town. So glad I don’t have to say I’m from there when people ask. That would be embarrassing!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Sue Archer

    Exploding Head Syndrome – really? Makes me glad I’m not a doctor, to have to say that one. 🙂 Laughed my head off at this post, thank you! I always thought Nowhere, Oklahoma was an unfortunate place to end up. Nothing like dropping right off the map!

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Nowhere sounds quite sad, doesn’t it?

      “Hey, I’m from New York. Where are you from?”
      A pause. Then a soft, “Nowhere.”

      Sniff.

      Thanks, Sue!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Bumba

    Terrific post. Don’t they also use those kettle bell snatches to make those good potato chips?

    Like

  9. cindy knoke

    PS- I thought of another one. My husband is a professor of biostats, he always enjoyed sharing papers with P.Enis.
    It’s good bio-statisticians don’t generally read blog comments……

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Ha, that’s a good one! On a side note , I was heading down the road to biostats and epidemiology a couple years ago before I got sidetracked by writing. (Was venturing off into research from clinical medicine.)

      By the way, thank you so much for the Amazon and GR reviews. I really appreciate that. I sent you a message on Goodreads. 🙂

      Like

  10. Britt Skrabanek

    Okay, laughing my ass off right now!!! Mr. H does kettlebells all the time, but I didn’t know that move was called the snatch!

    Here in Portland, there is a street named Couch. They don’t pronounce it like the furniture, they say it like it’s the lady part. When you take the streetcar, an automated female voice says “couch” when you arrive at the stop. I used to lose it every time.

    Like

  11. BunKaryudo

    I actually had exploding head syndrome, hence the bag on my head nowadays. Delightful name, though. It’s good to know there are still medical professionals with a lively sense of humor.

    Like

  12. Aquileana

    Laughing at the town Climax (Minnesota)… I mean pioneers can be original at times, eh!?…
    I am better understanding political affairs and that overflowing verbosity… I mean come on Trump… “Jack of all trades, master of none”… (Why politics?!).
    Best wishes and thanks for sharing, dear Carrie. Aquileana 😀

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Thank you, and thank you for your generous Twitter share! As for Trump, he’s something else all right. He needs to take his Cream Collon and go find something else to do. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Elyse

    These are so funny. I love funny names, and have a list of them.

    My favorite was when three attorneys addressed a conference I attended a few years ago. Fortunately I didn’t need to listen to what they were saying because I couldn’t stop laughing at their names: Mowse, Katz and Rhatts. I was in stitches. Nobody else found it at all funny.

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      How could they not find that funny? That’s too perfect. Can you imagine being their receptionist and having to answer the phone that way all day? Ha!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Elyse

        They were from three different firms. And I have no idea how come nobody else noticed.

        My other favorite is the guy who was/is Director of the AIDs program at the WHO. Dr. Kevin deKock. Mwwhahahahahaha

        Like

  14. Perfecting Motherhood

    How funny, I just posted a video of an Australian guy making puns with the IKEA product names on Facebook today! Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T2oje4cYxw
    It’s funny because I do the same thing when I go there. Lots of materials to work with in that store!
    As for weird product names, I’ll have to think about it but I’m sure I can come up with a few…

    Like

    • Carrie Rubin

      Cute video! Thanks for the link. I’ve actually never been to IKEA before. In fact, I don’t even own anything by IKEA. But if I ever do go into one of their stores, looks like I’ll have fun with the names. 🙂

      Like

  15. Diane Henders

    LOL! Well, if you don’t like the Kettleball Snatch, you could always indulge in the other weightlifting activity: Clean and Jerk. (I always thought it would be the other way around, but what do I know?)

    Also, for funny place names, there’s Dildo, Newfoundland…

    Like

  16. Vanessa-Jane Chapman

    Oh goodness how funny! There are several places in England that have very funny names as you can imagine. Also, not smutty funny, but just amusing funny, I live near the town of Sandwich (yes the actual one where the sandwich was invented) and nearby is a village called Ham, so you sometimes see road signs around with both names on that we never get tired of laughing at (we’re easily amused). Also, do you have those chinese noodles over there that we would probably call chicken flavoured, but they call cock flavoured? Ha!

    Like

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